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A wicked look crossed Tara’s face as she rubbed her hands together. “Awesome! In that case, you won’t mind that I’ve set you up on a date. His name is Zorian, he’s originally from Philly, and he works as a realtor.”
“No offense,” Asia cut in, “but the name’s a red flag, and so’s the job. However, a bigger red flag is that you’re eight years younger than Jacinda….”
“Women can date men younger than they are,” Tara snapped, glaring at all of us. “It’s not a bad thing.”
“That’s true,” I agreed. “But I don’t. I have no problem when other women do it, but I’m just not attracted to younger men.”
I was only attracted to one man if we were going to be specific about it, but again, I didn’t say that.
“He’s thirty-nine,” she sighed. “Okay?”
One by one, my sisters and Giselle all peppered her with questions about him. If they’d stopped to ask me how I felt about the date, I’d have done my best to get out of it, but no one did.
Even Mom got excited when she sat down and heard what was happening, and Dad snapped out of his special brain world and began musing about them selling their house and getting Zorian to help them. Then again, he did this every year, just like he talked about getting a new car. The thing was, he never sold the house, never even put it up for sale, but he sure as hell upgraded his vehicle every couple of years. I figured that was about as much change as he could handle.
And that’s how I ended up going on a date with someone I didn’t want to go on one with. I really should have gone with my gut on it and not turned up, but sadly, I went two days later.
Thursday and the date…
I just wanted this date to end and for… Alan? Rod? Orwell? Bill?… Whatever his name was, to leave so I could go to bed and pretend it’d never happened. Oh, and I would forget it after a good night’s sleep. It was that bad it was a must that its existence was erased from my memory.
What kind of guy pulls his phone out after dinner and types in the prices he’d memorized while we were ordering? What sort of guy also then adds on how much water I drank to determine how much of the tip I had to pay? He’d even made a tally of how many times the waiter had come to fill my glass, just to make sure he got it right.
This douche, that was the answer.
I was all for women’s rights and equal opportunities, but this asshole had taken it too far. He’d even told me he wasn’t charging for the gas we’d used in his car for the date because he liked me, like it was a huge romantic gesture.
I’d never dated a realtor, but I would be adding them to my long list of ‘hell no’ when I got home. To be fair, I didn’t agree with judging every other male realtor based on this guy, but the way he spoke, constantly referring to the industry as ‘we,’ I didn’t want to risk going through this experience again. That’s how bad it was.
And now he was walking me up to my front door. “I need to get up for work at six, so—”
Opening the door and taking a step into my house that was almost a jump, I glanced back at him over my shoulder. “Thanks for the date….” I desperately searched for his name, but it just wasn’t there. So, in the end, I went with, “You.”
“We should do it again,” he suggested, smiling widely and making me wonder yet again if he was completely blind to other people’s body language.
Where the hell was Damian when you needed him? He could save me from this situation by attacking the asshole. Who’d want to date a chick with a psycho pussy? Wait, no, a psycho pussy cat. If I told him I had a psycho pussy, this guy would probably take that as a challenge.
“Uh, I think—” the sound of a door opening in my house made me freeze.
“Oh, hey, mistress, you’re back early,” Canon said through a yawn as he shuffled into the living room, dressed in just his underwear. His eyes moved behind me to my date. “I see you brought us back some dessert, too. Can I take this out now?”
The son of a bitch—no offense to Gloria—turned around and showed off the ice pack wedged firmly between his ass cheeks.
My date sucked in a lungful of air. “Who’s this, Jacinda? I thought you said you were single?”
Waving a hand through the air, Canon snickered. “Mistress always says that. It sounds better than saying the rules of our relationship allow for another man for me. The last one didn’t understand the instructions, though, so I’ll fill you in. Mistress brings me back rewards, if you know what I mean?” I swear my jaw was resting on my boobs. “She likes to watch.”
