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“That’s okay. I can be cool with it. You know I understand, right?” His pained expression suggested he’d rather be coated with honey and left for the ants, but I appreciated the effort.
“I didn’t. Jesus. I wasn’t sure I’d feel like being…” Vertical. Sober. Conscious. “Social this week.”
Parker went back to eating his breakfast, thank god.
After a few minutes, he spoke again. “Is that guy your type?”
I was too busy savoring my lukewarm coffee to answer.
“Because he’s good-looking. And I know you like guys who are up for… whatever. I mean, I don’t know what spit roasting is, but…”
I set the mug down carefully and rubbed my hands over my face. Last night, he’d clutched his pearls when I mentioned blow jobs. Now he wanted to know my thoughts and opinions on spit roasting? “Can we not talk about this, please?”
Parker pulled out his phone and tapped at it. I knew without asking he was googling things he was going to regret.
“Oh. Ohhhhhh. Well. Hm.” He tilted his head this way and that as he looked at god-knew-what on the screen. “You’re into that?”
“This is me not talking about it,” I said before shoving the last bite of breakfast in my mouth.
“I hooked up with a girl one time who wanted to bring in a guy for a threesome. Maybe this is what she was thinking,” he continued.
I tried to stay calm while picturing him naked with another man. Thankfully, the woman in my mental scenario was blurry and inconsequential.
“Did you do it?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“No. Jesus. If I was going to have sex with a man, it wouldn’t be some rando.” He glanced up at me sheepishly. “No offense.”
“None taken,” I said. “Like I’ve told you a million times before, it’s different with guys. Sex is more transactional sometimes. We fuck around for fun. I don’t need a guy’s resume to enjoy his body. Hell, I don’t even need to know his name.”
Parker made a low noise of disapproval in his throat. “So you would have fucked that guy at the door if I hadn’t been here.”
He said it like a fact rather than a question.
“Admit it,” he added.
I pushed my chair back and grabbed my plate. “Yes, okay? He was gorgeous. If you hadn’t been here, I’d have been dicking him down on the sofa by now. There, you happy?”
It wasn’t true. Despite my big words, I wasn’t one for jumping into sex without at least a conversation. But he didn’t need to know that.
“No,” Parker said. His cheeks were flushed red, and he couldn’t seem to decide where to direct his gaze. “Not happy at all. I’ve never liked knowing you hook up with random strangers. It makes me fucking crazy, and you know it.”
“Because you think it’s dangerous.”
“Exactly. You don’t know that guy from Adam. He could be a serial killer. You need a weapon or something at the very least. Mace, like Hazel carries.”
I set the plate down in the sink and turned back with a grin. “Thanks for worrying about me, babe. I’ll stick to known quantities like Nolan from now on.”
“Fuck off. I’m being serious.” He brought his plate over and nudged me out of the way with his hip. As he began cleaning our dishes, he continued to lecture me. “You need to have me on speed dial with some kind of shortcut so I can come over and beat the guy to a bloody pulp.”
“The guy. Meaning my serial killer Grindr hookup.”
He nodded as if this was a completely rational conversation. “Yeah. I already have you on my location app so I always know where you are. This way, when I get the call—”
“Can we go back to not talking about my sex life, please?”
“I’m trying to be a supportive friend.”
I couldn’t help but gawk at him. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? You are the one who doesn’t want us to talk about my sex life. It makes you incredibly uncomfortable.”
“Not true. Clearly, since I’m the one who brought it up.”
Parker truly looked like he believed what he was saying, which was kind of funny. “You always get weird when I talk about sex with guys. Honestly, it’s hypocritical.”
He stuck his chin out defiantly. “I’m not homophobic, if that’s what you’re implying.”
I blew out my cheeks. “I know that. Don’t you think I know that? You don’t have a problem when Sam and Tiller talk about their boyfriends. You don’t have a problem when your friend what’s-his-face from the ski school talks about his Grindr hookups. It’s just me.” I stared at him steadily. “But I don’t get why.”
He clenched his teeth and widened his nostrils. “I…” He paused. “I just don’t think anyone you hook up with could possibly be good enough for you. You’re the best person there is, and… and I don’t want some asshole trying to use you for… sex or whatever… when there’s so much more to you than… that.”
