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After my visit with Gregory, I went straight to the airport. Since I had a half hour before boarding, I opened my laptop to catch up on work. Before I could get started, though, I saw an email from Kiki in my inbox that had come in yesterday.
Hi, Troy,
Guess what? I tried what you said with Maisy, and I think it worked! She was teasing me at recess, and instead of getting upset, I started laughing. I didn’t mean to laugh, but I got nervous. She looked at me like I was crazy, but then she just walked away! It was magic. So, I think I’m gonna laugh in her face all the time now.
What do people your age want for Christmas? I want to buy something for Auntie Aspyn but don’t know what to get her. I only have ten dollars, and it’s the day before Christmas Eve, so I don’t know what to do!
Are you still feeling sad? Are you ever coming back?
Bye!
Kiki
Her emails always made me smile—particularly the abrupt way they ended. I hit reply.
Hey, Kiki!
I’m proud of you for being strong when it came to Maisy. I’m glad you can see that if you’re not bothered by her, she’s no longer interested in bullying you. It is like magic, isn’t it? If only everyone realized this sooner, they could save themselves a lot of trouble.
I’m sorry I don’t have a quick answer for you in terms of what Aspyn might like for Christmas. What I’m finding, the older I get, is that it’s the thought that counts. Just knowing someone thought about you enough to make something or to pick something out is what matters.
I’m sorry if I gave you the impression I was sad the last time we spoke. When I said I was down and missing Meadowbrook, I was just having a bad day. Like you, I have good days and bad days. And you know what? Today was a good day. I’ll tell you about it some time, but I’m still kind of letting everything sink in.
I wasn’t sure whether to tell her I was coming back to New Jersey for Christmas if I wouldn’t be seeing her. So, I kept it generic:
I hope to be home very soon.
Keep up the good work with Maisy. I’ll be rooting for you. And if I don’t get to talk to you again before Christmas, I hope you have an amazing one. Please give Aspyn a big hug for me.
Talk to you soon,
Troy
• • •
I just needed a little tree. Unfortunately, all of the ones left were huge. This sucked. Nonno was going to be pissed.
He was already mad enough because I’d arrived back in Meadowbrook later than usual. It was the first year I hadn’t brought him a fresh tree to put in his room ahead of Christmas. He said he hadn’t asked my father to set one up because it was my job. He’d intentionally waited until the last minute, after I arrived in town, so I could do the honors.
Currently, I was at the only place still open and selling Christmas trees this late in the game on Christmas Eve. After I’d gotten here this afternoon, I’d barely had time to unpack before my grandfather started blowing up my phone. He’s lucky I love him. Unfortunately, love wasn’t enough to save this night, and at this point, I was debating pulling a bush out of the ground somewhere. Nonno insisted on a real tree because he liked the fresh-pine smell. Like many things, he said it reminded him of my grandmother. My grandparents wouldn’t have been caught dead with a fake tree when I was growing up.
My search for a tiny tree was further derailed the moment I spotted her: Kiki. I immediately hid behind the nearest evergreen. Peeking through the branches, I could see she was with Aspyn’s mother and a man I assumed was Aspyn’s dad. My chest tightened. The sight of her made me yearn to see Aspyn tonight. But that wasn’t possible. I couldn’t let her know I was in town until the day after Christmas, because we needed to talk, and I didn’t want to ruin her holiday by upsetting her. But beyond December 26, it wouldn’t be able to wait.
If Kiki saw me tonight, Aspyn would know I was back in New Jersey and hadn’t told her I was coming home for Christmas. She would be unhappy, and that would spill over to Kiki. I might’ve done a lot of crappy things in my life, but up until now, shitting on a kid’s Christmas wasn’t one of them. I wanted to keep it that way.
Kiki and her grandparents had their backs to me as I made a beeline past them, headed to the parking lot. I’d get my ass handed to me by Nonno for coming back empty-handed, but I had no choice but to leave.
In my rush to exit the premises, I didn’t watch where I was going, and I bumped right into someone. “I’m sorry, I—”
I lost my words the moment I realized I was staring into Aspyn’s shocked eyes.
