Page 13 of Sex, Not Love


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“Have a great trip! Don’t get pregnant. I’m not ready to be an aunt yet.”

“Says the woman who has custody of a fifteen year old.”

“Umm…you just made my point.”

“Love you. I’ll call you when I’m back.”

“Love you, too, Anna B. a Weiner.”

***

“Mrs. Lockwood?” the prison guard manning the desk called without looking up from his clipboard.

“You ready?” I turned to Izzy.

She pulled her earbuds from her ears and went to throw her stuff in a locker. While I always left any banned items in the car, Izzy couldn’t be without her earbuds for the short wait to see her father. God forbid I try to strike up a conversation with her. She kept the things in her ears twenty-four-seven, like most kids her age.

I walked to the sergeant at the desk. It was a guy I’d never seen before. “I’m Natalia Rossi, visiting for Garrett Lockwood. You called for Mrs. Lockwood, but my name is Rossi now.”

He flipped through some papers in his clipboard. “List of approved visitors says Natalia Lockwood, wife. Are you not her?”

“Yes. Well, no. I was when I first started visiting. But we’re divorced now, and I go by Natalia Rossi—like the license I showed you and the name I signed in with.”

“You should tell the inmate to update the list of names.”

I did, every time I came. But the asshole refused to write my name without his last name.

“Isn’t there a form I can fill out myself?”

“Only the inmate can request visitor approval.”

Great. Whatever.

“I would have kept Lockwood anyway,” Izzy said from behind me. I hadn’t realized she’d finished up with the locker. “It’s a better last name than Rossi.”

I bit my tongue to keep from responding that even Weiner would be a better last name than that of a lying thief. Izzy and I were led to a room where a few other visitors waited, and eventually they brought us all to the family visiting room. Garrett was already seated at a table. He stood when he saw us and flashed the dazzling smile that had swindled hundreds of investors out of millions and me out of my pants and dignity.

His eyes were trained on me as we walked, even though his daughter was practically running to greet him. She wrapped her arms around him for the brief embrace allowed at the beginning and end of a visit. In that moment, the vulnerable girl she really was shined through. Izzy did her best to act tough, with an I-don’t-give-a-shit-about-anything attitude, but inside, a big part of her was still a little girl who’d lost her mother and her father. She idolized Garrett, even with all that he’d done.

After she released him, he attempted to physically greet me. I took a step back out of his reach and nodded. “Hello, Garrett.”

He frowned. “Hello, Nat. You look beautiful.”

“I’m going to grab a drink. Do you want something, Izzy?”

She didn’t even turn around to respond. “No.”

The rules required a minor to be accompanied by a guardian. It didn’t require me to sit at the same table as my ex-husband. I was here for his daughter, whether she appreciated what it took

for me to come each month or not. I walked to the vending machine and bought a bottle of water before taking a seat at a small, vacant table on the other side of the room.

During the hour, I glanced over at Garrett and Izzy a few times to check on her. I hated that once my eyes lingered on his face for a minute. I hadn’t even realized I was doing it. Even after two years in prison, sallowed skin, and dark circles under his eyes, he was still an incredibly beautiful man. But I’d learned the hard way that a beautiful face is nothing when you have an ugly heart.

When the guard called the end of visiting hours, I walked back to Izzy. I could have waited at the door, but I never wanted her to have to walk away alone.

Garrett used every hello and goodbye as an opportunity to manipulate me. “Can I have a word alone with Nat, Izzy? We need to talk about some finances.”

I waited until his daughter was out of earshot. “Did you tell her?”

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