Page 12 of Just Hold On

Chapter 11

The next morning,I woke up to something wrapped around my waist. It took a minute to remember that I wasn't in my truck. The pounding of my head was the first clue. The second was the pair of hats right in my line of sight. I was getting to know that straw Stetson a little too well.

"Ty," I whispered.

"Mm."

Since he didn't move, I pulled at his arm. "Lemme up, Ty."

That had the opposite effect. "No," he grumbled as he pulled my back against his chest.

So I reached behind me to poke him. "Let go or I'm gonna pee on you, cowboy."

Finally, he relented, lifting his arm so I could slide out from under it. Crawling off the bed, I hurried around the end. I hadn't been lying when I said I had to pee. A few too many margaritas tended to have that effect. But I glanced over just before I walked out of sight and found a pair of brown eyes watching. Ty's lazy smile proved that he didn't mind the view, and that felt pretty nice.

When I returned, he was standing between the beds, now in nothing but his briefs. They were dark, tight, and molded to every line of his hips and thighs. It seemed he'd changed out of his pajamas and my timing was damned good. Struggling not to smile, I aimed for my stuff, trying hard not to make the morning any weirder than it already was.

"You always wear blue?" he asked, reaching into his bag for a pair of jeans.

I grabbed my stuff and plopped it on the bed. "Yep. I have one show quality shirt. It's blue."

"And your chaps are mostly black." Something dark thumped down on the covers by my bag. "It's a bit big, but should match."

"It" was a shirt. His shirt, to be precise. Unlike what he wore to ride, this one didn't have any sponsor patches or embroidery, but the fancy buttons tipped me off. He'd packed this to go out after the event. I quickly checked the tag.

"This won't fit."

"Will leave you plenty of room to move," he countered as he pulled on his jeans.

I left it on the bed and dug deeper into my bag. I knew I had one more tank. I just hoped I hadn't packed the red one. Then, under my last clean pair of socks, I saw it. The shade wasn't perfect, but it was close enough that no one would notice this blue tank didn't match my blue and black chaps.

"I can make do," I told him, flapping the shirt in his direction.

Ty grunted under his breath as he shoved an arm into his own shirt. "Just wear it. The last thing you need is road rash from hitting the dirt. It's black, it works, and no one will even notice."

"That I'm in your shirt? I think everyone will notice."

Tugging his collar up against his neck, he stepped closer. His shirt was still unbuttoned, and in that instant, I couldn't look away. Those abs were absolutely perfect, and I'd had my hands all over them last night.

"Cody, it's a plain black shirt. Could be your dad's for all they know, and if anyone asks, tell 'em that. Just wear it so you don't lose half your skin to the sand."

"Why?" I whispered, stepping back.

He caught my arm, halting my retreat. "Baby, I like the idea of you in my shirt. I also don't give a fuck if anyone else knows, but the reason I want you to wear it is very simple. Riding bulls means you're gonna get hurt. It'll happen eventually; the only question is how bad. Don't tempt fate out there."

I knew he was right, so gave in. "Ok."

"And wear the sparkly belt you had on last night. Was pretty cute."

That was more than I could take. "Not happening. The last thing I need are those guys having a reason to think about how I'm a girl."

"Baby, we all know it now. You think that fight at the bar isn't going to be the hottest topic? That means the whole circuit knows. I just figure you should stop trying to hide what you are and start rubbing it in our faces a little." A devious smile took over his mouth. "Trust me, we'll notice."

"Yeah? And how do you think that'll go?"

A tap at the door interrupted his answer. Ty held up a hand as he crossed the room. "I think the drunk girl who threw her drink in Austin's face last night is a lot more intimidating than the one trying to blend in." Then he looked through the peephole. "It's Renato, and you don't have pants on."

"Crap," I muttered as Renato knocked again. Grabbing my things, I scrambled for the bathroom

"Second," Ty yelled through the door.

"Coffee," Renato yelled back.

I'd barely closed the bathroom door behind me when the one to Ty's room opened. Dropping my things on the counter by the sink, I started pulling on each layer while listening to the men outside.

"Get any cream?" Ty asked.

Renato chuckled. "Lots. Didn't know how she liked it. Just don't tell me you kicked her out already?"

"Nah, she's getting dressed. Pretty sure she has a hangover, too." Ty's voice got softer as he moved to the far side of the room. "You two riding over with us?"

"Nah. Figure you need alone time. Hannah just told me to check and make sure everything was still on the up and up."

"Well, she can stop worrying," Ty assured him. "Just loaned her a bed."

"Bullshit," Renato teased. "Not with the way you've been acting. Thought you had no interest in settling down."

"Shut up, man. She's in the bathroom. Don't want her thinking I have a different girl in here every night."

Renato chuckled. "But ya do. Well, did. Just tell me you didn't do anything stupid when she was that trashed?"

"I will have you know that I can be a gentleman. Just loaned her my shower and a bed, that's it." Ty paused. "Pass me that."

"Fine. Here. You're really this serious about some girl after one day?"

For a moment, Ty didn't answer. When he finally did, I had to strain to hear it. "There's something about her I can't stop thinkin' about. She's this mix of delicate and strong, with a little vulnerable thrown in. And she can ride. Damn, that girl can ride a bull, and I guess it gets to me."

Renato made a noise that sounded amused. "You're so fucked, man."

"Don't go thinking like that. Nothing happened. She was drunk."

"Yeah? Well, I have a feeling you're full of shit. Just because you didn't screw her doesn't mean you didn't touch her."

"You're such a dick. Did this crap really work with Hannah?"

Their voices dropped too low for me to hear, but I was almost covered anyways. For one second, I debated using the black shirt, then gave in. Ty was right, and it smelled a whole lot better than mine. I wasn't sure if the spicy scent was from his cologne or his detergent, but I liked it. When I tucked the tail into my jeans, I decided that it looked damned good on me. Maybe he had something with the belt, too.

Twisting the knob unlocked the door. It also killed the conversation outside. When I wandered back to my bag, both guys looked. One smiled politely. The other? Ty couldn't take his eyes off me, but there was nothing at all polite about that look. If I had to guess, his thoughts were X rated, at least. Biting my lips to hide the smile, I pulled out my rhinestone-encrusted belt.

"Oh damn," Renato grumbled. "That's a look."

"Stop staring," Ty growled. "You have one of your own."

Renato chuckled. "And now it's your turn. Suck it up, buttercup." Then he heaved himself out of the chair by the table. "Cody, got ya a coffee. Advil's beside it."

Which was exactly what I wanted. "Thanks, Renato."

When he passed me, he dropped his voice. "You look nice. Find me before you ride, and I'll explain all about how to get points from spurring."

I couldn't believe he remembered - or that he'd even bother. "Thanks, I will."

By the time Renato was gone, I'd managed to get my boots on. The spurs could wait. The Advil? Not so much. I claimed one of the empty chairs and found the bottle. Pouring four into my hand, I washed them down with piping hot coffee then leaned back. Not only did my body ache, so did my ego. I wasn't quite sure how to deal with what had happened last night. Should I just ignore it? Talk about it? And say what?

This was why I always struck out with guys. They wanted the cute girls, the ones who looked like ladies but acted like sluts, or something like that. My problem was that I looked like a boy and kept acting like a damned lady. A prude. I didn't have the guts to do anything seductive or sensual. They wanted the ones who kept them turned on, and all I had was my ability to hang onto a bull. That was it. The best I had was this, right here, and it sure as hell wasn't sexy.

But I did owe him one thing. It sure wasn't enough, but he deserved it. "Thanks, Ty. I know you didn't have to, but I appreciate you taking care of me."

"Huh?"

I took another sip of coffee, hoping it looked casual. "You probably had better plans for last night, and I ruined them. I just..." Was screwing this all up. "Thanks."

This was a man who could have any woman he wanted - and probably did - but he'd spent last night with me! Why? He definitely wasn't desperate. What he should have done was thrown me in the bed of my truck and headed for the hills, but he didn't. Wouldn't be long before everyone heard about my epic make-out skills. The next time I went behind the chutes, they'd have some "adorable" nickname for me, like Desperate Cody, or Can't-get-none Cody. Then again, their ideas were usually a lot better than mine. That was why they always stuck.

He just dropped his head into his hands. "Dammit. Don't tell me you can't remember last night."

My throat tensed, making it almost impossible to speak. "I remember."

Ty slowly licked his lips, bobbing his head like he was thinking. Yeah, this conversation took awkward to a whole new level. If I had any idea where all my gear was, I'd just grab it and run. If this was some ploy the guys had come up with to convince me never to return? Well, it was working. If I could have vanished into thin air, I would've.

"Look," he said, "I was just trying to show you that there's nothing wrong with a couple of friends hanging out. Whatever we do on our own time is our business, ok?"

"What?" I saw the confusion on his face, so kept going. "So you're saying, if we're just friends, then there's no reason I can't give you a few extra benefits, right? I mean, because Cody's so desperate that she'd be thrilled to jump in the sack with you. I know I damned near threw myself at you when I was drunk, but -"

"You kinda did, but - "

"But I was drunk!" I reminded him a little too loudly. "We both know you can do better than me. Do you really think I'm that dumb?"

I grabbed my rope off the bed in one hand, the belt of my chaps in the other. It was time to go. I'd made a fool of myself last night, and there was no way to make this any better. All I could do was have one hell of a walk of shame. Finding my bag, I started throwing everything I could find into it, but Ty wasn't just watching. He slammed his coffee on the table and surged to his feet.

"Dammit, Cody, stop!"

"I'm not some friend for your benefits. I'm not going to drop and suck on command. I'm here for the same reason you are. I'm going to ride these damned bulls until I earn enough money to - "

Reaching over my shoulder, he jerked the bag out of my hands and onto the floor. "I think your problem with bull riders might be a bit more you, and a lot less us. What the hell are you fighting so hard for?"

"Why are you?" I shot back.

He turned me to face him, chest to chest, but wouldn't let go. "Because I wanted to see a little more of the world than my quiet corner, and I really hoped that I had what it took to make a real name for myself." He dipped his head but never looked away from my eyes. "Your turn."

"It's the only way I can live my own life."

"Riding bulls?"

He was close enough to kiss me. His fingers were barely pressing into my arms, yet I could see the intensity in those big brown eyes of his. He wasn't about to let me go until I answered. I could see it written all across his face.

"It's all I'm good at, and if I want to get out of Missouri, then I'm going to need a whole lot more than I can earn working at the Circle K."

"Why?" he insisted. "What do you want, Cody? Why are you fighting so hard for this, unless it's the fight you're after?"

"Because where I'm from, I only get two options. Get married and start a family, or start a family and get married." I sucked in a deep breath and lifted my chin. "I want more than that. I want to be someone. I don't even care who. I'm just sick and tired of being no one, and not even being very good at that."

He nodded, accepting that. "But you're a damned good bull rider. Don't you dare throw that away because you think you know something. Especially not when you're wrong."

"Wrong?"

"I wasn't talking about friends with benefits. I was trying to say that I'm not going to tell a damned soul what happened in here last night. I wanted to kiss you." Stepping back, he let me go. "I wanted to do that so damned bad, but I was trying real hard not to take advantage of you. See, I just don't know how to handle you. I don't know what it is you want from me."

"I..." No, that wasn't right. "Me..." Still wrong. I flapped my mouth a couple of times, trying to figure out what the hell he'd just said. "What do you mean?"

"I'm getting the real strong impression that saying you're gorgeous isn't going to work, but you are. Telling you that you're a damned good bull rider isn't going to win me any points, even if you're that, too. How do I show you that I want to get to know you? I can't call you a friend, because," he gestured around the room, "that didn't go over so well. I'm sure as hell not going to call you my buckle bunny, because I'd like my nuts to stay attached."

That earned a half-hearted laugh, because I had to admit he had a point.

"So what's left? You're my competition? Well, we both know that, and yesterday you outrode me and scored quite a bit better. But I want to get to know you. This has nothing at all to do with whatever the hell made you so pissed off at bull riders, but have you ever considered that I didn't do it? I carried you out of that bar, held your hair back when you puked, and suffered through a long night of blue balls, and you know what I was hoping to get?"

I shook my head and my answer was little more than a whisper. "No. What?"

"Your number would be a great place to start. Maybe grab a coffee between rounds, or dinner when the event's over. A chance to know you, Cody Jennings, the girl with the boy's name who is breaking into the PBR with a bang. The rookie who has J.D. Adkins threatening to cut a dude because he insulted her. I want to know her, and then see where the hell this is gonna go."

"Oh." That was all I had because he'd just completely and totally blindsided me.

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