Page 19 of Just Hold On

Chapter 18

For the next half hour,the space behind the chutes was chaos. Some of the guys were having tantrums that they didn't place. Others were celebrating an unexpected win. So many of them made their way over to introduce themselves and make sure I knew who they were. I'd never remember their names, but it was nice. When I'd competed in my first rodeo at the age of ten, this was what I'd imagined it would be like. Now, at twenty-two, I'd finally made it happen.

There was only one problem. Ty was nowhere to be seen. It was a quarter after eleven, and I needed to hit the road, but I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye. Never mind that having one of the best-looking bull riders in the PBR flirting with me was too good to be true. He really had made the weekend enjoyable, and it wasn't just his flirting. It was that he'd been the catalyst who'd introduced me to everyone. If I hadn't bumped into him that first night, I'd probably still be wandering around with my head pointed at my toes, trying real hard to be ignored.

And I liked him.

Yeah, I knew it. I found myself looking at every man in chaps who walked past, hoping it was him. Twice, I'd thought of something to tell him that would make him laugh, but he wasn't there. It hadn't even been an hour, and I was already having withdrawal. Considering that he hadn't checked out the buckle girl? Well, that just proved that he was nothing at all like I'd expected, and that was a real good thing.

At eleven thirty, I gave up. Carrying a plastic bag filled with my souvenirs - and helmet - I made my way to the parking lot, walking past the line of trucks by the gates toward the shadowed spot at the back. That was where I'd parked Friday night. It was where I'd planned to spend my free time, but Ty's bed had been so much warmer. Getting drunk had never been a better idea.

Halfway there, I saw there was something on my truck. When I got a bit closer, I realized it was a man. Leaning back against the window, with his boots planted right on the hood and his hat pulled down over his face, that could only be one person. No one else had thighs muscled quite like that.

"Ty?" I called out, feeling my smile return full force.

He reached up and pulled off his hat. "Having fun?"

"Was looking for you." I hobbled faster to reach him, unable to believe he was still here. He hadn't left, he'd been waiting - for me!

Sliding off the hood, he met me by the driver's door. "Well, I wasn't really in the mood to fight through that mess for your attention. Grabbed the tool kit and figured you'd end up here eventually."

"You don't do the celebrating?"

He hooked a finger in my belt and chuckled. "Sometimes." Then he tugged me closer. "Ok, most times. And I can't change this out if it's on your waist."

"Trying to get me undressed?" I teased, working the buckle free.

He grabbed the end and pulled, sliding it out of my belt loops. "Yeah. Already worked for me once. Just need to get you out of those chaps and spurs, and we're good to go."

"Oh!" I gasped, remembering. "And your shirt."

He was already focused on my belt. "Don't worry about it. You can give it back later."

I bent to release my chaps from my legs, then pulled them off and folded them. "I have a tank on, Ty. Not like I'll be flashing the world."

"Yeah, I know." Then he tossed over the bejeweled buckle that had come with my belt. "Hand me the other one?"

It was at the top of my bag. "Here." The old one went down the side beside my program and other memorabilia. "Ty?"

"Hang on," he insisted. "I'm working by street light, here, baby. Don't want to strip the screws. Damn, this matches perfectly." Then he held it up to admire his work. "Gonna try it on?"

Yeah, I really wanted to but hadn't wanted to look too anxious. His request was all the excuse I needed. Threading the rhinestone thing back through my pants, it took a moment to find the right hole, then I slapped it all into place and turned.

"Well?" I asked.

"Almost." He stepped closer, his hands reaching for the buttons at my throat. Slowly, he worked them free, teasing my skin as he moved ever lower. When the black shirt hung open, he tugged, freeing it from my pants. "Now that," he said softly, "is hot as hell."

"Tough," I corrected. "Maybe even impressive, but I'm thinking we need to work on your eyesight."

"Hot," he said again, sliding his hands against my waist and guiding me back. "That blonde hair, black hat, and this tight as hell body? God, you look good, Cody."

My rump hit the truck, his body holding me there. To hear a man like him call me hot? I didn't know how to respond, but my body did. My skin was begging for him to touch it. My mouth wanted to get one more kiss before he was gone. I knew this might be my last time with him, and almost hated that it was going so well. In a week, who knew what could change... or who he could meet.

"Ty, I - "

"Don't tell me to stop," he broke in. "I know exactly what I want - you - and it wasn't just one weekend."

I shook my head, proving he had me all wrong, but his words made it harder to speak. "This is never gonna work," I whispered.

There, in the dark parking lot, this felt so final. The amber lights reflected back from his dark eyes, looking like will-o-wisps intending to lead me astray. In the distance, the sound of people wafted from the convention center, but out here, the crickets were our loudest fans. It was just me and him, and the moon was trying to convince us to do something about it.

"Why not?" He sighed, then cupped my face, not giving me the chance to answer. "I don't care what you think you know about bull riders. Just give me a chance. A few days ago, I didn't even know you existed, and now a week apart seems like much too long."

"And you'll forget all about me." I tried to make it sound teasing.

"No," he promised. "Baby, there's a whole lot of women running around these events, but there's not a single one like you." His thumb stroked my cheek. "You make me stupid. I can't think about anything but hearing your laugh or getting another one of those witty little comebacks you toss out." He shifted his hips, pressing the length of his body against mine. "I don't know what it is about you, but I need a whole lot more, and don't tell me it won't work out. Don't you dare shoot me down before you even let us try this."

Those words made my insides turn to goo. Never before had anyone talked to me like that, let alone meant it, but I could see that he did. I had to be dreaming, and in so many ways, I was terrified to wake up, but it was coming. As soon as I got in that truck and left, my reality would come crashing back, so I'd better enjoy this while it lasted. This was Ty McBride. If nothing else, I'd have some great stories to tell.

"But I know how this ends," I said, hoping he couldn't hear the sadness in my voice. "We'd have a great time, live this rodeo lifestyle to the fullest, then crash and burn." I swallowed, then added, "I like you, Ty. I barely know you, but I've tried this before, and it just comes back to bite me. If we get involved, this thing just becomes something else to hold over me, and bull riding is all I've got."

"Then let's figure out a way to make this work."

"I've tried. They'll just go from greased ropes to flat tires, and I'm barely scraping by as it is! I can't risk it. I just need to keep my head down and - "

He cut me off. "Too late. But sure. You want me to work for it, then I can work for it." Carefully, almost tenderly, his fingers trailed down the side of my face. "You aren't telling me no, you're telling me to back off, and I get it. I dunno what happened to you, but I get it, and I'm gonna prove to you that I'm not that guy."

"It's not that easy."

"Never is," he agreed. "And I'm not trying to get in your pants, baby. I'm trying to get in your head, maybe even your heart one day. Don't care if we're not sleeping together, I just don't want you to shut me out. Work with me a little here?"

"Friends?"

"Friends is a whole lot better than nothing." His hands moved to the lapels of my shirt. "And you hang onto this, because I really like the idea of you wearing my clothes. Text me as soon as you get home so I won't worry."

"Ok." I tucked my fingers into his front pockets, holding him against me. "But Ty, I'm not..." Crap. "I mean, I don't..."

He just leaned closer, palming the side of my face. "Shh. Baby, I know you're not just playing hard to get. There's something you're trying to brace for, and I don't have a clue what it is, but I get it. I also just really like talking to ya. I mean, the kissing and cuddling's pretty good too, but the talking's the best part. We'll figure out all the rest when you aren't about to walk out of my life."

I couldn't help but chuckle at that. Yeah, it may have been weak and pathetic, but I was trying to walk out of his life, and this sucked. Mostly because I really didn't want to. I just didn't want to have this guy turn into the thing that ruined me.

"I do like you, you know." Biting my lip, I met his eyes but felt my face growing warmer. He probably heard this all the time. "You're nice, and sweet, and one of the most considerate people I've met. I just don't need to get thrown out of the circuit for improper behavior."

His eyes narrowed slightly, and he just stared for a little too long. "Why would they kick you out and not me?"

"Because I'm the girl! Ladies are supposed to hold themselves to a higher standard, and boys will be boys. That crap."

Ty just nodded, looking anything but thrilled. "So it's happened before. Yeah, you're going to have to tell me about that later, because that's bullshit. For now, there's no one out here but us, and I'm just fixing your buckle, so cut me a little slack?"

"Oh?" I tilted my chin up. "So does that mean I get a goodbye kiss?"

His hand moved to my ass, and a devious smile touched his lips. "Baby, don't tempt me. There's a real good chance that once I get you started, neither of us will have any interest in stopping."

"Try me," I dared him. "I'm real good at stopping."

"Oh, I see that." Then he tilted his head and kissed me.

Our hats collided, but I didn't care. As his tongue slipped against mine, Ty pulled my Resistol off, tossing it toward the bed of my truck without slowing down. I let him, wrapping a fist in his shirt while my other hand hooked in the pocket of his jeans. His groan proved he noticed, leaning into me nice and hard. The way his arms locked me against him made it clear he didn't want this to stop.

I didn't want him to, either.

There, in the middle of the parking lot, I kissed him like I'd never kissed a man before: brazenly. Everything about this bull rider made me want to throw caution to the wind. He made me feel powerful and beautiful, all at the same time, and I loved it. I wanted so much more of it, but this was a bad idea. The rules I had to play by weren't the same for him. Never mind that I was leaving. We were heading in different directions, and it made my kisses a little desperate. His were the same, both of us trying to savor every taste we could get.

I was panting. My heart was racing, and it beat low in my belly. I wanted him to touch me, to kiss harder, and to never stop. I knew I shouldn't, but my body wasn't listening, and my mind was suffocating with the feeling of his hands on me. Begging without words, I hooked a leg around his calf, and he lifted, holding me against the side of my truck. My hands found his face. Our mouths clashed. Over and over, each kiss drove me a little higher, making me want just a bit more, and he was willing to give it. As his hands caressed my ribs, his thumb teased the swell of my breast, and I gave in, leaning my head back. A moan slipped out.

"You're killing me," he growled before kissing my throat. "Jesus, Cody. How the hell am I going to survive a whole week without you?"

I giggled into the next kiss. "That goes both ways, cowboy."

"Yeah? Honey, that's exactly what I wanted to hear." His teeth grazed my shoulder, then he kissed the spot beside it.

I pulled his head back to mine, begging for more. A quick kiss. "God, I don't want to go now." Then another.

"Mm. Me either." He moved along the side of my face, kissing a trail to the spot just behind my ear. "But you have a truck to get back, and I have a promise to keep."

"You do?"

He nodded. "Gonna prove to you that whatever happens between us has not a damned thing to do with your career. If that means we're just friends until finals are over, then I can take it."

"Yeah," I groaned as he eased me back to the ground. "And if you kiss me again, I might make more bad decisions."

"Don't tempt me," he eased me down, wrapping his arms around my back, "because that sounds like a real good idea to me."

I didn't try to resist, just leaned into his shoulder. "Me, too. Unfortunately, one check isn't enough to pay my way, and everyone's going to be waiting for the girl to screw up. Ty, I really do have to go."

"Yeah." He didn't budge.

Neither did I. For a moment, I just snuggled into his broad chest, breathing in the scent of him. I fit right here. There was no other way to explain it. I didn't need to reach or twist, I just fit against him like it was where I was meant to be. Standing beside my truck, with only the stars as my witness, I just held him, making no effort to be anything but a woman wrapped up in a man's arms. The best part was that he let me, never making me feel weak for who I was. Ty made me feel like no man had before, and I wanted this to be so much more than some weekend fling.

"Promise you'll text?" he asked.

"Swear. And I won't even be pissy if you're passed out. Ok?"

"Sure." Then he leaned back and lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him. "And so you know, I think you're fucking beautiful. Kinda glad J.D. got you a helmet, because I like your face just the way it is."

I couldn't stop the smile. "Then I'll wear it. I'm also going to be telling my girlfriends at home that I had a little make-out session with the hottest cowboy in the PBR."

"Who? I'll kick his ass."

I poked his chest. "You. Now let me go or I'll never get on the road."

"Mm. Don't wanna."

"But you still have to," I insisted. "I'll see you next weekend, Ty."

"Promise?" he asked.

I nodded. "I swear on my dead mother's grave. How's that?"

"Think that's about as good as it gets. Lemme get your hat." He finally let go of me - to reach into the bed of my truck. When he turned back, my hat was in his hand, but his boyish smile had vanished. "Drive safe, eh?"

"Yeah. Promise you'll do the same?"

He tapped my nose. "Definitely, but I'm not leaving until tomorrow. Good night, Cody. I'll talk to you in the morning." Then he caught the side of my face and pressed one last, sweet kiss on my lips. "Gonna suck waiting to get to see you again."

Yeah, that definitely sucked. As I settled behind the wheel, I watched him meander back toward the convention center. For a moment, I simply tried to make sense of what had happened, waiting for my heart to slow down. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that I'd finally found a man who made me feel like I was just a woman - and I liked it. I liked him. I just hoped this wasn't a whole lot of fancy lights and excitement that would fade when the rest of the world got back to work.

Or worse, that he was setting me up to crash and burn. But if that was what Ty was doing, then he was a better actor than a bull rider, and he was damned good on a bull. I just had a funny feeling that he was going to be the biggest mistake of my career.

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