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“You think so?”
“I know so.” I press my lips to the crown of her head. “Thank you for coming this weekend. I know today was a long day for you.”
“Not just me. You drove all night to get to me.”
“Worth every mile.”
She settles in close, and I breathe her in. I know I said that we could do this long-distance stuff, and I still believe that, but I don’t want to. I want to be with her like this every damn day. If I ever get drafted, I’ll spend a lot of time away from her, and something just tells me that I need to soak up as much time with her as I possibly can.
“What are you thinking about?” she asks.
“What makes you think I’m thinking about something?”
“You’re tense.”
“I’ve been thinking. I’m going to talk to Coach Hopkins about helping me transfer to Nashville.”
“What?” She sits up, and even though it’s dark, I can feel her gaze.
“I don’t want to be away from you, Peyton. I hate this.”
“Maybe we should,” she starts, but somehow in the dark, I manage to place my hand over her mouth.
“If you were going to say we should take a break, or step back, or break up, or whatever thing in your head that has us not being together… don’t. None of those things are options.”
“You can’t give up your full ride, and you were the starting pitcher as a freshman, Griff. That’s a big deal. And what about the draft? Do you know how rare it is not to have to go to the farm team first, and they’re talking about bringing you straight on. There are tons of teams looking at you, even your grandpa’s favorite team, the Mavericks. I won’t let you give all of that up for me.”
“I love that you listen to me. I love that I can have a conversation with you about my future and know that you’re really hearing me. I love that you’re as invested in my dreams as I am. Babe, if it’s meant to be, it will be.”
“You could say the same about us.”
“No, Peyton. I can’t say that. You see, if college is my last run at playing the game I love, I’ll be fine. I have two degrees to fall back on. I’ll be okay. I can live a full, happy life without the game, but I can’t do that without you.”
“You can’t say things like that.” Her voice cracks.
“I’m being honest with you. I’m sorry if that bothers you.” Even I can hear the anguish in my tone, and I hate that. I love baseball, but I love her more. The anguish isn’t from the loss of the sport I love. It’s the thought of losing her that gets me.
“No. It doesn’t, but it makes me fall further in love with you, and I don’t know how to handle that.”
“What?” I ask.
“I don’t know how to handle it when you say those things.”
“I heard that part. What about the part before it?”
“I can’t say it again,” she says softly.
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t mean to say it then, and now you’re probably ready to kick me out of your bed and run for the hills.”
“Do you really think that?”
“No. But I didn’t mean to just blurt it out like that.”
I move us so that I’m hovering over her. I wish I could see her face, but I know by the way her arms wrap around my biceps and the hitch in her breath that I have her attention. “I love you. I love you so much that I can’t stand the thought of you getting on that plane in a few days and going back to Tennessee without me. I know I said we could do this, and I still believe we can, but I don’t want to. I want to walk you to class and have lunch with you. I want to settle in bed with you just like this at the end of every day. I want to start my day the same.”
“I love you too. I want that. All of that, but I don’t see how we can make it work. I won’t let you give up what you’re building here.”
“I don’t care about that. Your school has a great men’s baseball team. The scouts and my reputation and skill for the game can follow me there.”
“You have a full ride, Griff. That’s a big deal. You’re the starting pitcher. That’s an even bigger deal. You could lose that status and hurt your chances to be drafted.”
“My parents have a college fund for me, and I have my inheritance.”
“That’s for you to start your life, not sink it into college when you’re already getting it paid for.”
“That’s exactly what I’ll be doing. Starting my life. With you.”
“We’re both tired, and it’s been a long day. Can we talk about this tomorrow?”
