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“You’re an excellent cook, for what it’s worth.”
“When Christopher allows me in the kitchen.”
“Very true,” Matthew mused. “We’re getting off-topic. I think I’m already starting to realise why my father always told me never to assume anything. Assumptions are usually wrong.”
“No.” I got up and turned my back to him, wrapping my arms firmly around my waist.
“What do you mean?”
“No, Matthew. I know what we agreed upon when we got into this, but I don’t want to hear it.” I tucked my chin so I could look at the ground.
Whatever he had on his mind, I didn’t want to know. It was too much for me today, and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle knowing that I wasn’t the only one failing dismally at this whole fake marriage thing.
“Eva, I—”
“I don’t want to know,” I said softly, hugging myself tighter, if it were at all possible.
I was one tiny squeeze away from tying myself up in a knot.
“Eva, I promised you I’d be honest with you. If you don’t want to listen, that’s fine.” He stepped in front of me. “But it’s not going to stop me from saying it.”
I swallowed, deliberately tilting my head so I was looking further away.
“The only reason you don’t want to know is because you already do.”
“I don’t!” I turned my back to him the same way a fussy child would, and I knew it was pathetic and stupid and childish, but it was all I could do.
I was afraid that, if I reached for him, I wouldn’t push him away like I intended.
I’d hold onto him because what I really needed right now was a bloody hug.
Matthew was relentless. Every time I turned my back to him, he stepped around me until he was back in front of me. It didn’t matter if I went left or right or shuffled in a half or full circle.
He was there.
Every time.
He took hold of my shoulders. “For God’s sake, Eva. Do you want to do this all day?”
“Yes, if it means I don’t have to hear what you’re going to say.”
“You’re going to hear it whether you like it or not.” He stepped closer to me. “Because I can’t lie to you or to me anymore, Eva. I was a fool to walk into this marriage and not think that I’d fall in love with you.”
I drew in a sharp breath. “You aren’t in love with me.”
“Not yet,” he said softly. “Maybe not today, no. Maybe not next week, or the week after that, but one day I will be.”
“You’ve lost your mind.”
He drew his hands up and cupped my face, tilting my head back in the process, and caught my gaze with his. “Trust me when I say I am in full possession of my faculties, and that’s why I know without question that what I’m saying is the absolute truth. One day very soon I am going to wake up completely and utterly in love with you, and there won’t be a damn thing I can do about that.”
My heart thundered against my ribs, and I was so very aware of where his skin was in contact with mine. Of how his fingertips grazed my hairline and his palms were slightly rough against my jaw, how one of his thumbs slowly lowered to my mouth and traced a tantalising path across the curve of my lower lip.
He had feelings for me.
Like I had for him.
Except I was far too cowardly to say those words out loud.
Matthew dipped his head, bringing his face closer so that the tip of his nose brushed across mine. “And when I’m in love with you, Eva, there isn’t a chance in hell I’m going to be rational whatsoever about letting you go, no matter what we agreed. I will lock you in the library if I have to.”
“Hardly a threat,” I whispered. “I’m quite fond of that library.”
His lips formed the tiniest smile. “So you can do it now.”
“Do what?”
“Leave.”
“Y—you want me to leave?”
He touched his forehead to mine. “Jesus, no. I don’t want you to go anywhere unless I’m going with you, but I have to give you the option. I promised myself that if I ever crossed the line that would give you a way out of the impossible situation I put you in, then I’d give it to you. And you have it now.”
“It’s only been three weeks.”
“I don’t care. I’m falling in love with you, Eva, and if you don’t want to have to deal with that, then I won’t begrudge you for triggering your break clause. I’ll take the heat, say I was cheating before the wedding and you just found out, I don’t care.”
“You’d wreck your own reputation for this? For me?”
“I’m starting to think that there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for you, if I’m honest.” He slowly drew in a deep breath before he sighed it out, letting the hot breath flutter across my lips. “So this is my offer. It’s your way out of it. Right now.”
