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“I know,” I whispered to her.
She nodded, her cheek rubbing against my chest. “If this goes somewhere for real, then what? We’ll never have had a relationship just the two of us. Not really.”
She made an excellent point. What we had before we got married was nothing more than regular, casual hook-ups. One night. Two at a push.
And in the terms of time, we had all of ten minutes alone before we became three.
“Aren’t you scared?” she whispered after a moment. She trailed a circle around my knee with her fingertip.
“I’m terrified,” I replied, keeping my voice low. “I don’t know the first thing about being a parent, Eva. I don’t know much about being a husband, either. Heck, I barely know how to be an earl, but here I am, winging that, too.”
“What? Didn’t your dad leave you little notes scattered about the house?”
“If he has, I haven’t found them yet.” I held her tighter. “I don’t know what I’m doing, but I do know that we have an amazing support system around us, and that means this baby will, too. And as for the rest… Well, we’ll figure it out. One way or another, we’ll be just fine.”
Eva tilted her head back and looked up at me. “You really think so?”
I hated seeing her this vulnerable—it was a whole side of her I’d really only just learnt existed, and insecurity really wasn’t something I was used to seeing her wear. She was always so strong and confident. She always had her best foot first, but now, she was on the back one, and all I really did want to do was wrap her up, keep hold of her, and make sure everything was perfect.
I wanted to protect her more than I’d ever wanted to protect anyone. She brought out a side of me I’d never seen before. Eva woke up parts of me I wasn’t sure existed until I met her, and that notion was both thrilling and terrifying.
All I really knew was that there was no chance in hell I was ever letting her go. Of all the things that scared her, I would fight to make that better. If something went wrong, I’d do everything I could to make it right, and when something broke, I’d fix it.
If she was scared that a real relationship between us would be hard to make work because we’d never had the time to be just the two of us, then I’d move Heaven and Earth and bury Hell further down in an attempt to make her see that we would do this.
We had time.
Eight months.
I didn’t need that long.
“Yes,” I said, looking into her eyes. “I promise you. We’ll be okay.”
She hesitated for a moment, then she turned her head and brushed her warm lips over mine. “I believe you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
EVA
I woke up the next morning feeling somewhat invigorated.
I was pregnant. We were going to have a baby. And it felt as though we were somewhat on the same page about how we were going to proceed in this marriage.
Start treating it like a real one.
Or at least try to.
We’d never explicitly said those words, of course, but there was some strange kind of understanding between us that said we were going to try.
That meant I was going to try in earnest to find my place here on Anglesey. Adelaide, Alex, and Olympia had decided to leave early this morning given the circumstances, and that meant I had the entire day free. Matthew was busy doing hotel stuff in Beaumaris, and I was going to hide in the library and the sunroom all day doing research.
Christopher’s suggestion of postcards for the gift shop in the part of Menai Castle that was open to the public seemed like a good place to start. Dafydd’s maps notwithstanding—he’d sent me an email and said he was still doing research and would have all the places he wanted included by next week, which meant I had time to burn right now.
And as much as I adored the dogs, walking them endlessly wasn’t a productive way to spend my time.
Postcards it was.
The problem was that I had no idea what to put on there. Saint Dwynwen’s church and cross seemed like an obvious option, as did Menai Castle. Perhaps a landscape sketch of the view across the Menai Strait.
That gave me two solid options and one that kind of sucked because it wasn’t really Anglesey.
I rummaged through the pantry for something to eat. There was a ton of food here, and it was all calling to me. I grabbed all kinds of things before pausing.
Crisps and cake did not make for a healthy pregnancy.
Damn it.
I slowly put things back before deciding on a chocolate chip muffin, a small packet of crisps, and a yoghurt from the fridge.
