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His huff was undiluted dejection. “Should be interesting.”
“It isn’t. It’s just the truth. When I saw you, all I knew was that you were the only man I’d ever wanted on sight. Then I rushed to help you, but I thought I was too late, that they’d kill you. I threw myself into the middle of the fight even when I thought they’d kill me, too. If you hadn’t turned out to be far stronger than what they or I expected, they would have killed me. You sensed I was a mortal, and I am. I have no powers left beyond, allegedly, the soul-harvesting one, which I’ve never used consciously.
“Afterward, realizations swamped me. Everything my aunts told me was true. I ran because I was afraid you would realize what I was. I couldn’t bear to see your hunger turn into revulsion.
“But I went out of my mind worrying you wouldn’t heal, or that you would but I’d never find you again. I went back the next night praying that you would, too, told myself if you did, I’d have just one night with you. I was afraid that if we had more, I’d put you in danger. But you came after me, and I was weak, kept taking one more day, one more week. Then today I discovered my aunts pushed me to go to that nightclub, opened doors for me there. But my attraction to you was all me. I loved you…love you with all of me.”
Tears were a steady stream now, and it felt as if her life force were hemorrhaging.
“I only wanted to have whatever time I could with you, then leave you with fond memories. But to prolong my time with you, I blinded myself to the dangers and I ended up losing you now, not later, and erasing anything beautiful you ever felt for me. My only consolation is that however much you hate me now, you will live forever, and in what will be a blink to you, I will be dead. And you’ll forget me. Or if you ever remember me, it’ll be with mild pity when you look back and realize that being with you, loving you, was the only real life I ever had.”
Chapter Nine
Kara teetered around, sent a tear, tiny and cold, splashing on Vidar’s hand. It felt as if it was a torrent of molten lead, eating him through, body and mind.
Moments later, he heard her bedroom door close with a defeated, final click.
He could have sat there forever, buried under the avalanche of realizations, his whole being gripped in a maelstrom of agony.
After what felt an eternity, he rose, went after her.
On his entry, she jerked up from a ball of misery. She looked at him with eyes as bruised as his very soul felt.
He braced one knee on the bed, stabbed his aching fingers into her fiery locks, cupped her precious head. “Being with you, loving you, has been the only real life I’ve had, too. And that when I remember every minute of the eternity I lived before I found you.”
“Vidar…”
He devoured her choking surprise, groaned into her trembling lips. “I love you, Kara. I far more than love you. And I believe you. I believe in you. I was never into worship, but I worship you. You’re the reason I’m alive today, the only reason I ever wanted to really live. And now I realize what Loki meant when he told me death has to be my heart’s desire. Now it is.”
She jerked hard. “What the hell do you mean?”
“I mean I’ll go out tonight to die in battle.”
“What?”
“You heard me. And I will give you my soul. I’ve lived too long, have known no happiness until you came into my life. Now it is my heart’s desire to pay with the soul you ignited inside me so you’ll live forever free.”
After a long moment of horrified shock, she gritted out, “Okay, tell me this—are you nuts? You want to buy my alleged immortality with yours, the bona fide thing? And you think for a second I will agree to this insanity because…?”
“Because if your aunts give up on your cooperation, they’ll use another Valkyrie to get my soul. And then both of us will lose everything.”
“Remember the part about willingly volunteering your soul? If they could have used another Valkyrie, they would have long ago.”
“And now that they know what you mean to me, they can. They’ll make me an offer I can’t refuse. Your life for mine. And for you, I will let anyone take my soul and anything else I have anywhere.”
“See?” she cried, eyes filling. “I am your Achilles’ heel!”
He stoked her head lovingly. “And it’s my pride and privilege to have you as my fatal weakness.”
Two fat tears arrowed down her trembling cheeks. “And in which moron’s book is my life more important than yours? I’m the one who’s mortal and who’ll die, anyway, so leave it at that. I always feared something exactly like this happening, but now that it did, and all’s out in the open, just give me your word you won’t let anyone use me to blackmail you, and let’s live as long as we can together. I have many good years left.”
He shook his head. “We had the time we had together because your aunts were waiting for you to fulfill your mission. Now that they know you won’t, we’re out of time. One of us will die. And in this moron’s book, your life is more important than m
ine.”
She smacked him, in tears again. “Stop it. Just stop it.”
He captured her hands, dragged her into a fierce embrace. “Let me love you the best I know how, my Kara. You’ve suffered too much in your existence, and I am the only one who has the power to end your suffering. How can you possibly ask me not to do it? How can you think I’ll let you fall into that sadist’s hands?”
