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“And how do you know all this, hmm?”
“I assumed you knew I knew,” I replied, clearing my throat. “Since you asked.”
“Grandma said you didn’t go home last night.”
“That gossipy old—” I stopped and took a deep breath. “I did not go home last night,” I confirmed.
Lying to her was pointless. Grandma would have called her at six a.m. to tell her I was a hussy who’d stayed out all night.
“She said you’re a hussy who stayed out all night.”
See?
“Such a hussy that she freakin’ cheered me on from the kitchen window,” I muttered. “Fine. I know what you’re looking for: I slept with Mason last night.”
She squealed and clapped her hands.
“You’re not a seal, Hannah. Don’t do that.”
She laughed and hugged her notebook to her chest. “Tell me more, tell me more. How did it happen?”
“Kind of by accident,” I mused.
“By accident? Immy, people don’t have sex by accident. Unless you were both naked on a Slip’N’Slide and he just happened to have an erection that ended up in the right place.”
I rolled my eyes and grabbed another box. “No Slip’N’Slides were harmed in the making of my orgasm. After we took Dolly to Isaac—who is hot as hell, by the way—we grabbed some pizza because neither of us had eaten. I kind of threw a bit of a hissy fit and tried to leave, but then he made me listen and admitted that seeing me again had stirred up old feelings.”
Hannah raised her eyebrows. “And you’d know all about that.”
I ignored her. “He said if I didn’t feel anything, then I needed to walk out there and then, and it was whatever, and we’d just be neighbors.”
“And you didn’t leave?”
“Oh no, I left.”
“Imogen!”
“Hold your horses, hold your horses. I went back. Obviously.”
“Right. Of course. So how did Grandma end up cheering you on?”
I sighed. “He kissed me on the doorstep. She saw. He told her I wouldn’t be home last night.”
She choked on a mouthful of water. “He said what?”
“Yeah. So. That’s how I couldn’t go home last night. Luckily, I managed to get in and out of the house before she could ask too many questions.”
“Because there will be questions,” she finished. “What happens now?”
Shrugging, I opened a box. “I honestly don’t know. I had a weird dream last night where I was pregnant, and there were, like, babies everywhere, and they were all mine. Maya was there, too. I woke up in the middle of the night, but I didn’t want to mention it to Mason in case it was just me being weird.”
“That was you being weird.” Hannah counted out four balls of navy yarn and jotted down the serial number. “But it makes sense. Dreams are from our subconscious, right? I read this book on it a while ago.”
“Of course you did, Ms. Oils and Crystals.”
“Hey, essential oils work. You should try them for your temper.”
“I do not have a—carry on about these dreams,” I grumbled.
“Pregnancy doesn’t always equal actual pregnancy. Unless you didn’t use a condom.”
“We used a condom.”
“Okay, then it doesn’t equal actual pregnancy.”
“This doesn’t sound particularly scientific.”
“You’re not letting me talk.”
I mimed zipping my lips, then turned my back to get another box. Also, so I could roll my eyes.
“Pregnancy can mean a new beginning. Since you’d just slept with Mason and were at his place, I’d assume your brain was telling you it was time for a new beginning with him. That despite all your assing around, you have actually forgiven him for hurting you.”
That made sense. I guess I had, deep down, forgiven him for what he did when we were immature young adults. “And all the babies?”
“Maya is easy. She’s his daughter, and they come as a package deal. I think the other babies are just manifestos of your own fears. Let’s be real, neither of us are in any rush to start a family, but Mason comes with one ready-made. Plus, he’s older than you. Only by a little over a year since it’s almost your birthday, but still.”
“Go on.”
“Face it, Immy; you’re scared that he wants to settle down. You two never had a serious relationship despite the fact you were clearly in love with each other, and you don’t want to get into a relationship now unless you’re both on the same page about what’s expected.” She turned around and took the box from me. “You wouldn’t just be dating him, you’d be dating Maya, too.”
I sighed and leaned against the ladder. “That’s what I said before I left last night. Neither of us really knows if these weird feelings we have are real or if they’re just nostalgia. I don’t want to date a guy with a child just because of nostalgia.”
“That was before you slept together. How do you feel now?”
I could lie. I could tell her that I wasn’t absolutely terrified of the way I was feeling. That I wasn’t constantly thinking about him and what he was doing and if he was thinking about me, too. I could tell that I didn’t feel my heart skip whenever she mentioned his name, or that I’d written ‘Imogen Black’ on the back of a Starbucks receipt this morning.
