AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I don’t even know if she’s worthy of him.” It may be my jealousy talking, but I feel more comfortable saying something like this to Joy than to Finn. Even though he’s seen the darkest parts of me, the pained, shattered pieces, I have always tried to rein in my feelings. Partly because I knew we could never have a forever.
“You talk from a place of love,” Joy says then. “But you also have to remember, you and he are both in this. It’s not your choice to make. He needs to tell you what he’s feeling. Don’t force the decision on him.”
“So, I just need to wait?” I question, frustration taking hold of me.
“Not necessarily, but don’t write off the girl just yet. Who knows, you may find that the three of you can make this work.” Joy smiles and releases me. Her advice slowly sinking in. “Now, go sit down. I need to finish up here and get dinner on the table.”
With that, I start setting up the table. My mind replaying Joy’s words as the scent of Finn’s cologne which seems to follow me around wherever I turn. It’s like he’s with me all the time.
Both of us at almost six-feet, with broad, lean muscle, make us a match in a fight, and in bed. And I wonder how we’ll fair with Zaria Abadi when she finally meets us both.
6
FINN
Seven Years ago
I make my way up to the roof and get right to the edge. A bottle of bourbon dangles in my hand as I look down, taking in the enormous garden that lies behind the house. The tears haven’t stopped. The pain is still fresh and raw in my mind. When people take their own lives, they don’t realize just how it affects those left behind.
I’m angry.
I’ve been fucking angry for a year now and nothing has changed. It’s the anniversary of her death and the hurt hasn’t soothed itself in my chest. They said it gets easier, but it doesn’t. It’s just a fucking black hole of agony that’s gripped my heart in its claws.
“Fuck you, Eloise,” I shout to the darkness. She was both my best friend and the one girl who made me feel something other than emptiness. I told her I would always be there for her, but she still went and did it.
Creed took the fall because he didn’t want her sister, Genevieve, to think badly of Ellie. But even then, we said it was an accident. There was no foul play, and Creed got off and the case was dropped. It was only Gen and Ellie; their folks had fucked off a long time ago.
I took Ellie under my wing, and then I laid her on my bed. She knew about me, the real me. I told her secrets I never told anyone, not even my brothers. She accepted the fact that I liked both sexes. It wasn’t me being a confused teenager; I just enjoyed variety. It’s the spice of life, or some shit.
“Fuck you, Ellie,” I curse her ghost again. She haunts me day and night. And no matter how much I party or drink, it doesn’t ease the agony of loss. The sting of tears as they trickle down my cheeks and the burn of the alcohol as I swallow back a mouthful can’t diminish any of the feelings that overwhelm me. And my mind goes back to the night my heart broke and the misery began.
The woods are dark, the moon only a slice of white. And even though I didn’t feel like playing this fucking game tonight, I couldn’t stop myself from being here. Mainly because Eloise is convinced that she wanted to play cat and mouse. The difference with tonight is that there are a few girls here.
“Don’t do this,” I implore, when the rest of the guys aren’t listening. I don’t want them to think I’m an asshole for stopping the game. But she’s mine, she always has been. And yet, she wants to play The Burning Roses. When Creed came up with it, we were bored and needed entertainment; I didn’t realize it would still be going strong all this time.
“It’s going to be fun.” Her smile is bright as it always is and her eyes sparkle with mischief. Then, she shoves something in my pocket, and leans in. “Don’t tell a soul. It’s our secret. Lock it in a box forever.” Her words don’t make sense, but all I can do is nod. We always promised each other that we would keep our secrets safe. Anything I told her was hidden in the depths of her pretty eyes, and anything she told me was locked in my heart.
I haven’t told her how much I love her. Not because I don’t want to, but because she doesn’t deserve the shit I come with. “Always,” I tell her with a nod.
