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“Seriously? You thought college would freak me out?”
I bite my lip. “Well, I mean …”
“What? Really? You thought it’d be too much for me? Or … do you mean you thought I’d …?”
I avert my gaze, uncertain how to answer.
He brings a hand to my chin and pulls my face right to his for a kiss. All of my worries are obliterated in seconds, just from the touch of his soft lips on mine. It’s so unfair, how he has the power to magically erase my thoughts by doing that.
When the kiss ends, I meet his eyes again. “Are you happy?” I ask him softly.
“Yeah, ‘course I’m happy, Harrison,” he answers. Then he lifts his eyebrows. “Aren’t you?”
“More than I’ve ever been,” I admit.
He studies me, searching for the words I won’t say. Then quite suddenly he finds them. “Harrison, let me tell you something. Are you listening to me?”
“Yep.”
“You sure?”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, Hoyt. You’ve got my undivided attention. Tell me what you’ve got to say.”
Without warning, he grabs me, flips me onto my back on the bed in one swift move, then straddles me. I stare up at him in surprise, as he pins me to the bed with a diabolical grin stretched over his face.
“I’m exactly where I want to be,” he says. “I’m happy. I’ve got you. I’ve got my friends in that bunkhouse. My other friends a call or text away. My parents and sister, just a short drive down the road. I even have a car now. It’s got a shitty radio, but hey, a car is a car, and I ain’t complaining.”
“I’d kiss you, but you got my arms pinned to the bed.”
“Well, I wouldn’t let you anyway, because I’m not done sayin’ what it is I got to say.”
“Yeah?”
Hoyt brings his face really close to mine. He lets go of one of my arms and brings his hand to my hair, which he strokes softly and thoughtfully. The smallest, dreamiest smile washes over his face—a smile of true contentment. “I know I’ve said it enough, but I think in times like these, it needs repeating.” He kisses me, then gazes into my eyes. “I’m crazy about you, Harrison. I love you. I’m all yours. I have never been more happy or more certain about a damned thing in my whole life.”
“Not me.”
His eyebrows pull together in confusion. “Huh?”
I break from his grip in an instant and grapple with him. This time, to my surprise, he puts up a decent fight. We roll around on the bed, him grunting as he tries to pin me again, but despite how freakishly strong he is for his build, I manage to win out with my size and strength and get him on his back. Straddling the helpless college freshman at the waist, I gaze down at him in victory.
“As a matter of fact,” I go on, “this whole summer, I’ve been filled with more doubt and uncertainty than I ever have before.”
Hoyt’s face is still cutely scrunched up. “What’re you saying? You have doubts about me? About us?”
“The only thing I felt certain about at the beginning of this summer was that no one would ever know my heart,” I tell him. “I never felt the need to advertise I’m gay because what’s the point? There wasn’t anyone here for me anyway. Everyone who appeared got snatched right up by the quicker guys. Hell, there was even a time when I was interested in Trey. Faked an injury on the farm just to go to the clinic and see him six or seven years ago.”
Hoyt lets out a laugh of disbelief. “You serious??”
“Yep. Pathetic, right?”
“I was gonna say hilarious and clever, but—”
“Anyway, Cody came along,” I go on, “and the rest is history. When Lance came into town more recently for our high school reunion, I got all excited again, thought this was my moment …”
“I can hear your tail waggin’ now.”
“… then Chad was there to wrangle him up. Since then, I lost hope. Every last scrap of it. For as many guys are in this town, it sure can feel mighty small at times. And besides, when all my love is going to the animals and into every piece of furniture I make … what do I have left in me to go out searching for Mr. Right?” Now it’s me stroking his hair. “I’ve got a lot of doubt in my heart about you, Hoyt Nowak. Why does this all feel too good to be true? How can you fall into my lap right when I need you the most?”
“Well, technically I’m underneath your lap …”
“You restored my hope, Hoyt. All of it. You made me certain about something in my life, for the very first time.”
“You should write all this down on a piece of paper and give it to Turtle,” he tells me. “Sounds like lyrics to a damned song.”
