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“I’m so far from dead,” I tell her. “And I want to kiss you, but I can’t because I’ve been puking. So can I hold you instead?”
She glances at my IV. “Am I going to mess anything up?”
“No way.” I clasp her hip and pull her onto the hospital bed, the same time she crawls next to me.
She’s hesitant, scared to hurt me. Eyeing the cords and keeping her body weight off mine.
My lip lifts. I’m so in love with Willow. I tuck her closer to my chest, and she eases more.
“I’m like so fucking jacked up on pain meds right now too. I’m in-de-structable,” I say, separating the syllables slowly. Okay, I feel high.
Willow smiles up at me.
I look to Lo. “You knew the whole time? For how long?”
“A month,” Lo says. “I can keep a secret.” He nods to his sister. “I’ll give you two some privacy.” He gives me a look. “Only because I know you’re not going to kiss.” He laughs like his joke is funny. Whatever. I’m not a kid.
“Hey, we don’t need chaperones. We’re twenty-two!” I yell out to him as he leaves.
“She’s twenty-one until tomorrow.” His voice tapers off while he walks away.
Willow squeezes my hand in hers, reminding me she’s really here. In the flesh.
“It’s a weekday,” I tell her. “You’re missing class.”
She nods. “I’ve asked a few people to take some notes for me. It’s all worked out. I’ll be here for the rest of the week.”
Holy shit.
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
We’re both beyond grinning. My world is lit on fire. Beautiful flames filling my heart. “I thought the universe was trying to tell me something,” I say to her. “Getting sick before seeing you.”
“Yeah?” she frowns. “Like what?”
“That we’re not meant to be together,” I laugh, a dry laugh. “And I was ready to choke the universe out to let me get to you.”
Willow brushes her finger over my knuckles. “I’m glad you didn’t have to do that,” she says. “I’m glad I can finally see you.”
It should have been me sacrificing time for her, but I bury that guilt. I don’t accept it into my life. No more. I’m not going to feel bad for either one of us making time for each other. Because I choose to believe we’re stronger than any force in this world. I feel it deeper than I ever have.
No separation will keep us apart. Not really.
We hold each other on the hospital bed, and I dissolve into happiness. “When you leave again,” I say, waiting for the pain in those words. But it doesn’t come this time. “I just want you to know something.”
She lifts her head off my chest to meet my gaze, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose.
“Wherever you are, no matter if it’s right next to me or a thousand miles away,” I say, “I’m tied to you with a thread that can’t break. We’re connected by something stronger than time or place.”
She takes a deep breath, love sweeping around us. “I’ve felt that for years too, even before I left for London.”
“Yeah?” Tears start to crest my eyes.
She wipes the emotion beneath her glasses. “You were there for me when I first moved to Philly, and in a way, it felt like you already hugged me before we even touched.”
We breathe in, and I never understood the word solace before Willow. But I could lie here next to her, with an inflamed appendix, not saying a thing, and feel that word too deeply.
Solace.
Peace.
We have years left apart, but it’s okay. For the first time, I’m truly realizing that nothing can come between us and our love. Not even myself.
I want a career at Cobalt Inc.
I want a future with Willow Hale.
I want it all.
1 year later
MARCH
65
willow hale
“Am I underdressed?” I ask Garrison quietly, right after a suspender-clad hostess seats us at Lola Vine, a cool upscale pizza place in London that I’ve had my eye on for months. I was so excited about the atmosphere that I forgot to investigate people’s clothes off Yelp photos.
I glance down at my thin blue sweater and the unbuttoned plaid flannel I wear on top. And I’m in jeans. I could’ve selected nicer pants.
“Not to me.” Garrison scoots closer to the candlelit table. “But if anyone thinks you are, then I am too. We can be underdressed together.” He splays a moto jacket on the back of the velvet chair. A black tee molds his toned biceps, but I’m selfishly glad that he’s wearing jeans like me.
I smile more, not feeling as out of place.
Garrison adjusts his jacket for another second or two. Giddy energy flutters inside my stomach. I have a lot to be giddy about today.
The biggest one, Garrison is in London. Just seeing my boyfriend makes the weeks of dreaming about him feel real.
