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Rose doesn’t personally know me. She probably has no idea how old I really am or that I regret everything I did to her and her sisters. We’ve shared space, maybe once, during Halloween. I didn’t say anything to her directly, I don’t think.
“Uh…” I stammer and glance at the thin, gangly girl trying to squeeze through the doorway. Lily, my boss at Superheroes & Scones. Right now, she’s the only friendly face.
The tension unwinds in my shoulders when I spot her, but then Rose cracks the door and shifts her body into the space. Blocking Lily from escaping.
“Rose,” Lily whines.
“I got here first,” Rose says to her sister, but her glare remains fastened to me. Nerves rake my spine, and chills creep up my neck.
This might’ve been a terrible idea. I should’ve messaged Willow first.
I realize Rose is waiting for me to speak, so I clear my throat. “We haven’t met.” I outstretch my gloved hand. Polite, I congratulate myself. I’m doing alright.
“Yes, we have.” Every word is frosted, and her grip tightens on the door.
I drop my hand.
“You and your friends sprayed red punch on my infant daughter and me with a water gun.”
It was a joke. A fucked-up joke.
They’re celebrities. Characters on television. In magazines. They weren’t real to us. That changed for me, and I can’t tell you the moment it did.
They’re more than just famous. They’re human. I should’ve seen this from the start—I’m at fault here. I know that.
I didn’t break into their house because I knew there were babies and people inside, but that decision doesn’t free me from all the other shit ones I made.
I don’t know how to make amends for everything I’ve done. I’m not even sure I deserve forgiveness.
I’m not sure I want it.
But I have to say something. “It was stupid…I’m sorry…” I chew on my chapped lip. Did that sound sincere? Sickness churns inside of me. I am so fucking sorry.
Nothing I say will ever make it better.
So I think, just get to the point, Garrison. “Hey is Willow here?” I ask. “I know she’s a distant cousin, or whatever…”
Please be here.
“She’s coming around at two!” Lily tells me from inside.
“Lily,” Rose chides, opening the door slightly. Lily’s round face comes into view, and I notice how she tries to narrow her eyes at her older sister—but the glare looks goofier than menacing. Now that I think about it, I’ve never seen her chastise a single Superheroes & Scones employee.
“Willow and Garrison are co-workers,” Lily explains to Rose.
And then Loren Hale appears. Hand on the door, he pries it from Rose’s grip. The door slams into the wall. I can suddenly see everyone.
Daisy is sitting on her boyfriend’s shoulders near the staircase, and she bends her head beneath the mistletoe, kissing him upside-down. They’re in their own world. Thankfully not really noticing me.
Loren places a protective hand on his wife’s waist, and she scoots near him. While he focuses on Lily, I wonder, do you hate me like everyone else now?
I wait for Loren to acknowledge my presence. Not afraid. Not afraid. I’m not afraid. His dark glare drives through me, and fear curdles my stomach. I can’t even lie to myself. Can’t even pretend like I don’t care what he thinks of me.
I do care.
Loren’s glower carries ten times the potency of Rose’s—and her pierced eyes already make me want to run off this stupid porch.
Voice sharp like daggers, he says, “A co-worker doesn’t show up on Christmas morning looking for another co-worker.”
Dropping my gaze, I scrape the icy stoop with my boot. “Does this mat say welcome under here? I can’t read it with all the snow.”
“He’s funny,” Rose says in a way that makes it seem like I’m decidedly not funny. She looks one second away from seeking revenge for the punch I sprayed on her and her daughter.
“You’re scary, no offense.” I cough into my glove and check over my shoulder, hoping Willow will show up early. I can still wait for her here. I look back. “You’re going to make me invite myself in, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
My eyes flit to each of them. Rose looks fucking murderous. Loren glares like I’m the shit on his shoe he scraped off yesterday but then reappeared today.
Lily is literally the only one that smiles, but it’s a weak, pitying smile. I don’t deserve anything more than that.
Each one intimidates me in their own right, but I’m trying to form words. For Willow. I’m trying.
Open-mouthed, my breath smokes the cold air. “I just…I wanted to tell her that…” I’m leaving. I let out a weak laugh, my eyes burning. Whatever. It’s all fucking over anyway, right? What’s done is done. It’s Christmas. I don’t need to shit on their holidays too. “Never mind, it’s fucking stupid…” I turn to leave.
