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Janie looks like she’s about to throw-up, sitting on the other end of the couch at her house. Of course, we’re home alone because her mom, Sheena, and Sheena’s boyfriend, Jerry, are out. Nonetheless, Janie’s face is contorted with disgust and her eyes are practically bulging from their sockets as she rages about Jerry. I sigh a bit.
Unlike my parents, Sheena’s been married more than once. Actually, Sheena’s been married and divorced multiple times, and Janie’s learned to avoid or ignore most of the men her mom dates, since they never stick around for long. But now, Sheena’s actually moved Jerry in with them, and Janie hates him “with the fire of a billion suns,” as she likes to remind me pretty much every time I see her.
“Is it just the beard that makes him look dirty?” I ask.
I’ve never met the man, but Janie’s described him in detail, and it’s very derogatory. According to her, Jerry never bathes, nor does he ever cut his long, mountain-man like beard.
“The beard is only the beginning of it, girl! That shit is always full of old food, and I know there’s mold in there because you can smell it. Hell, the first thing you smell when you walk in my mom’s house is that nasty asshat. If Jerry showers, it can’t be more than twice a month the way he stinks. Oh, and did I mention? He sits around shirtless, with his big hairy man boobs sweating all over everything. Even the couch smells like swamp ass from him perching his nasty butt crack there day after day. I’d vomit if I had to get close enough to share a bed with him. I don’t know how my mom survives sleeping with him every night.”
Bile rises up my chest and rests in my throat, forming a huge lump that makes it hard to swallow. I cover my mouth as nausea pours over me
“Ugh.”
Then, it hits like a wrecking ball, and I try sucking in large gulps of air, hoping the fresh air will help keep down the queasiness.
Janie throws me a strange look.
“Are you okay, Em?”
I nod, trying to force myself to ignore the way my breakfast is desperately trying to come up for a second visit. My buddy pushes the locks of hair that have fallen over my face away and looks at me pointedly.
“Are you sure about that because I’ve seen every ghost movie ever made and I’ve never seen a single ghost who was as pale as you are right now. It looks like every bit of blood has disappeared from your body. All your color is gone and beads of sweat are starting to form at your temples.”
For a couple minutes I just drop my head and breathe, trying to suck in as much oxygen as possible. Into my nose, and out through my mouth. Again. Thankfully, the nausea begins to subside in small, slow increments.
“I think I just need some ginger-ale or something,” I manage.
Janie hops off the couch.
“I’ve got it.”
Then, in the kitchen I hear a cabinet open and there’s the sound of liquid being poured into a glass. A minute later Janie returns before practically shoving a full glass of ginger-ale in my face.
I sip tentatively, the soda immediately working wonders.
“Thanks,” I say, my voice sounding small.
“I’m sorry,” Janie says in an apologetic tone.
I shoot her a puzzled look.
“What for?”
“For making you sick. Of course, hearing about my mom sleeping with Jerry’s disgusting ass would make you want to puke. Believe me, I understand. Stank ass has sent me running for the bathroom a few times from his B.O. alone.”
I have to giggle despite myself.
“No, that’s not it. I mean, it’s just talk. It isn’t something that would make me literally get sick.”
Janie’s eyebrows rise.
“You sure?”
I nod.
“Really, as long as I’m not smelling him, it doesn’t bother me. But yeah, I’m not sure what’s going on. Maybe it’s a virus or something I ate.”
Janie frowns.
“Well, we ate the same thing this morning, girl, and I feel fine, so I think food poisoning is out.”
I nod.
“Well, it must be a virus then.”
Janie looks thoughtful for a moment.
“Have you been around anyone sick recently?”
Pausing, I take a moment to think about her question. Really, the only people I’ve been around are my parents and Logan, and of course the dogs I walk, but that doesn’t count.
“I don’t think so,” I say in a slow tone. “I spend most of my time with canines these days. I mean, of course I see my parents and Logan, but they’re not sick right now.”
My friend knows about my illicit rendezvous and nods.
“Well, I’m glad then. Is the ginger-ale helping?”
I take a couple more sips and nod.
“Yeah, I think I feel a little better. So finish telling me about Jerry. What’s the latest gross thing he did?”
