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Now, after the shortest time, she felt essential to his life—and yet he was still shying away from what that meant.
He gazed into the red core of the fire. Given what he knew about people’s behaviour when they went from casual to committed, that was completely understandable. To him, relationships were unpredictable and challenging. His family had proved that time and time again. There were so many risks—so many unknowns for which there was no neat algorithm.
His mouth twisted. Or perhaps it wasn’t the unknown that scared him but the acknowledgement of his own shortcomings that was making him hold back.
The fact that his parents and siblings acted as though they were living in a modern-day Asgard had never impacted on anyone but himself before now, but Lottie was unsure of her place in the world—could he really risk introducing her into the chaos of his family life?
He had no right to expect or ask that of her.
More importantly, he couldn’t introduce her to them because he hadn’t actually told his family about her or Sóley yet.
His spine tensed.
Telling them was not as simple as it sounded. Not because his family would judge—they wouldn’t—but because they would want to be involved, and being involved on their terms would mean being consumed. In an instant he would be fighting for control.
He would tell them soon. But on his terms. Calmly, quietly, individually. But for now he wanted to keep Lottie and Sóley to himself, for just a little longer.
Maybe that thought had been in his head when he’d asked her to spend Christmas with him. At the time, on the beach, with panic swirling up inside him like spindrift off a snow-covered mountain, he’d justified it to himself as a first small step, a baby step...
His mouth curved upwards and he felt the rise of fierce pride and happiness as he pictured his daughter moving towards him with slow, unsteady certainty. His smile faded.
Except he wasn’t a baby.
He was a grown man, and he needed to start acting like one—because for the first time in his life he was more scared of losing someone than of letting them get close to him.
* * *
Rolling onto her front, Lottie lowered her face and closed her eyes. Sóley was having her nap and Ragnar was holed up in his office, reading through business proposals. She hadn’t felt like sketching today. Instead, she had sneaked out to the pool house and, after a quick dip in the steaming water, she made her way to the sauna and was now stretched out on one of the slatted wooden benches.
Beneath the towel she felt warm and weightless.
Of course that was due in part to the voluptuous heat of the sauna. But it was Ragnar’s invitation—and this time it was an invitation—to stay on in Iceland that had wiped all tension from her body.
Her heart swelled against her ribs.
It wasn’t a big deal, she told herself for perhaps the tenth time since waking. It was just a couple of weeks. Only she could sense that the words hadn’t come easily to him. And he hadn’t had to say them at all, so surely that did make it into some kind of deal.
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sp; They would be together, properly together, so his inviting her to stay must mean that he liked her. The thought made her pulse dart forward and she allowed herself a moment of pure, incredulous happiness.
She was growing drowsy now. And as her limbs grew heavier she felt the air currents shift and knew that someone had come into the sauna. Even without looking she knew it was Ragnar.
Opening her eyes, she looked sleepily up at him. He was wearing a towel, knotted low around his hips, and as her gaze skimmed his powerful body her sleepiness vanished instantly and her nerves started to hum like an electricity substation. Against the soft fabric the lean muscles of his chest and stomach looked like burnished bronze, and as he walked towards her she felt her insides tighten around a ball of hard, pulsing heat.
‘I thought you were working.’
‘I was.’ Sliding onto the bench beside her, he dropped a kiss on her half-open mouth. ‘I got through it quicker than expected.’ His eyes slipped slowly over the bare skin of her shoulders. ‘But then I had an incentive...’
She bit her lip. Her skin was prickling, and she could feel the tips of her nipples pressing into the towel. ‘Incentive? Is that how you see me? As some kind of carrot on a stick?’
His long dark lashes flickered up and, blue eyes narrowing, he reached out and hooked a finger under the knotted towel above her breasts. ‘That’s not what I was picturing in my head, no.’
Pulling her closer, he tipped up her head and ran his tongue lightly along her lips. She moaned against his mouth, arching her body upwards, blindly seeking more contact.
‘Have you got a condom?’
‘No...’ He groaned softly and kissed her hard, his lips parting hers, and then slowly he released her. ‘I was so desperate to get down here I didn’t think.’
