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‘That you forgot to mention?’
‘No, I didn’t forget. It was deliberate.’ He sighed. ‘In the beginning I didn’t want you radioing home for back-up, and then later...’
He hesitated. Making love to Mimi and then sorting out this mess in New York had temporarily stifled the debate in his head over what he should do and what he wanted to do. He had done this journey so many times, and he knew that they were probably less than an hour away from landing. Now that they were so close to England he could no longer avoid the bruising reality of the facts.
If he didn’t do or say something in the next sixty minutes then he was going to end up sleepwalking into a situation he didn’t want—namely, Mimi’s abrupt departure from his life.
But not from his head.
He felt his chest tighten, the impossibility of it all making his whole body tense with a panic he had never felt befo
re.
When his mother had been killed he’d been too numb with shock to feel anything, and later the need to care for his sister and father had overwhelmed his own desperate loneliness and loss. And that night at Fairbourne when he’d called his lawyer had been the same. There had been no time to think about his own feelings; that had come later, after the dust had settled. And however terrible it had been—and it had been terrible—both times had been played out in public, shared with family and friends and police officers and lawyers.
This feeling was his alone, and he had to deal with it on his own.
His heart began to pound. It was an unsolvable dilemma. He and Mimi might work on an island on a lake in Patagonia, but they weren’t outlaws. They couldn’t run away and hide out at the edge of the world for ever.
Back in London—make that anywhere people had smartphones—his relationship with Mimi would be news, and once it was out there he wouldn’t be able to control it.
He knew exactly how bad it might get. His body tensed as his mind recalled how bad it had been before. For a full year he hadn’t been able to open a newspaper or search for his family’s name on the internet without wanting to dig a hole and bury himself.
He couldn’t unleash that kind of abuse on his loved ones.
‘And then later, what?’
His head snapped up at the sound of Mimi’s voice. He’d forgotten they were in the middle of a conversation, but now, looking down into her wide, blue eyes, he realised he was fighting a battle that had been lost the moment they had arrived on the island and given in to the inexorable sexual pull between them.
He took a breath. ‘Then later... I didn’t want you to leave.’ Reaching out, he took her hand. ‘I don’t want you to leave now.’
Somehow saying it out loud made it more real, more urgent, and instantly he felt his mind refocus. He’d been thinking about this the wrong way—seeing their time together in Patagonia as an exception. But they didn’t need an island to make this keep on working for however long it took for the fire between them to die. He had plenty of homes scattered across the globe, all of which were well protected from the public’s curious gaze. Homes with high walls, large grounds and loyal staff, including well-trained and highly efficient security teams. With a little effort on both parts they could carry on just as before. All he needed to do was find out if Mimi was willing to make that effort.
‘I don’t want this to end. You and me...what we have. I thought you might come and stay at my townhouse...maybe we could talk it through.’ He hesitated. ‘I suppose what I’m trying to say is that I’m not ready to say goodbye just yet.’
For a moment the only sound in the cabin was the hum of the engine and the faint chatter of his crew, and then Mimi looked up at him, her mouth trembling.
‘I’m not ready to say goodbye yet either.’
He pulled her against him, his mouth finding hers. There was a fullness in her chest, a relief that seemed stupid now she had agreed, but he couldn’t stop himself from pulling her closer, then closer still, until there was no gap between them.
* * *
It was raining, and after the wide open skies of Patagonia, London felt like a toy town. Glancing up through the tinted glass at the grey English clouds, Mimi felt her stomach flip over. Since that moment during the flight, when Basa had told her that he wanted her to come and stay at his house, her emotions had been swirling inside her like a tornado. She was happy and scared, excited and stunned, and nervous—absurdly and acutely nervous.
Every time she opened her mouth she thought she was going to blurt it all out: her feelings, her love for him. She could feel it swelling up inside her, pulsing between them.
She clenched her hands in her lap. She loved him so much, but telling him would be an act of madness. He might have feelings for her, but he’d never so much as hinted that they were of a permanent or romantic variety, and him not wanting to say goodbye yet didn’t change anything. What he was offering was merely an extension of their current arrangement, not a declaration of eternal love.
‘What are you thinking?’
Her pulse jumped as Basa leaned over and put his hand on hers, pulling her fingers apart and then slotting them between his own.
She smiled. ‘Everything feels so small.’
He nodded. ‘I know. It’s crazy, isn’t it? Thirteen million people live in London, but right now it feels like a village.’
His dark eyes rested on her face, his mouth curving up into a smile that made her forget to breathe.
