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13
Jenner
Ipushed the stroller, keeping behind Violet and Shaw as they walked through the mall. Love Bug was between them, holding their hands as the two women chatted over her head. The baby shifted her eyes back and forth, looking into all the shops and the many people we passed.
The stroller itself was loaded with bags, and that was mostly the reason Violet brought it now that Love Bug was walking. But pushing it made me less conspicuous when I was with them. Some people could see a huge guy like me following two beautiful women and instantly think I was a creeper, and others would be able to identify me for what I was—personal security—and stop and take notice of who I was protecting.
Either way, it drew too much attention that neither Violet nor I wanted. So, I always pushed the stroller, and she walked close enough to make it look like we were together and I wasn’t stalking her.
The girls had been shopping all morning before stopping for lunch. Now we were on our way back to the vehicle, and I could see the fatigue in the set of Shaw’s shoulders. Her pregnancy wasn’t noticeable yet, but despite the lack of baby bump, she had other tells that spoke of her condition.
She was usually a ball of energy, bouncing all over the place, but all morning she’d been sluggish and had run off to the bathroom several times while Violet had been busy trying on clothes. At one point, she’d just run into the back of one of the shops and begged the saleswoman to let her use their ladies’ room or she was going to spew all over their new merchandise.
That had been our last stop before lunch, and to my utter fascination, I’d sat and watched her inhale her huge bacon cheeseburger and double order of fries as if she hadn’t just been puking her guts out. She’d drowned it all in a thick chocolate shake then ordered a giant chocolate chip cookie for dessert. It was crazy to me that she had been so ill less than an hour before, and then she’d devoured her food as if nothing had happened.
Reaching the SUV, I unlocked the doors and then opened the back passenger door so Violet could strap Love Bug in while I unloaded the bags. As I put the stroller away, my phone rang, and I quickly pulled it from my pocket.
Seeing it was Pixie, I hit the button to close the trunk and answered. “Hey, you okay?”
I hadn’t seen her since Monday when I’d dropped her off at the apartment. We’d talked all week, but she’d needed her space to wrap her head around everything. During that time, I’d done nothing more than get lost in Doe. She was the only reason I’d been able to give Pixie the time alone that she needed and was still able to keep my own sanity intact.
Doe had slept at my place all week, but tonight, we were having dinner with her parents. She’d gone home that morning to do a little work on the farm and to help her mother cook. I’d felt restless without her with me, so when Violet said she wanted to go shopping, I’d been more than ready to go.
“Dr. Contreras just called,” she said, sounding out of breath. I heard her sniffle and realized she was crying. “They found a donor, Jenner!”
I fell back against the side of the SUV, my mind already going crazy. “R-really?”
“Yes!” she cried. A half sob, half laugh left her, making my knees turn to jelly. “Yes, they found one.”
I sucked in a deep breath. “What happens next?” The doctor had walked us through all this, had even given us step-by-step instructions on everything to expect and how the process worked, but I was suddenly drawing a blank.
“I’m going to be admitted to the hospital tonight or first thing tomorrow morning. I’ll start a full week of chemo treatments, and next Friday or Saturday, I’ll get the marrow put in through my central line.” Pixie sniffled again. “I-I’ve asked the doctor if I could meet the donor. He said he wasn’t sure who it was, but he’d look into it for me. For all I know, it could be someone a thousand miles away.”
Whoever the person was, I wanted to meet them too. They were my hero, and there was nothing I wouldn’t do for them for helping Pixie. If the doctor could just give me a name, I’d be able to take it from there, but I knew the patient confidentiality laws wouldn’t allow him to provide that to us unless the donor was okay with it.
“I’m just waiting for the nurse to call me back to let me know when to get to the hospital.”
“I’m taking Violet home now, and then I’ll come pick you up,” I assured her.
“No problem. I have to pack for my stay. I’ll be in the hospital for at least a month, I think.” She let out a small squeal. “I’m so excited, Jenn.” Her voice lowered to a weak whisper. “And more than a little scared.”
“Me too,” I confessed. My palms were already sweating. This was what we’d been hoping for, but now I was terrified out of my mind. “Everything is going to be okay, though. You’ll see.”
“Yeah.” There was a short pause before she huffed. “Well, this case isn’t going to pack itself. See you soon. Be careful. Love you.”
“Love you, Pixie.”
As soon as the phone went silent, I pocketed it and jumped behind the wheel. Violet and Shaw were already buckled in, but both of them gave me lifted brows when I started the vehicle.
“We have a donor.”
“Yay!” they chorused. Their excitement was so contagious that Love Bug even laughed and clapped her hands.
“That’s great news,” Violet said, leaning forward to squeeze my shoulder. “And I know I’ve said this at least a hundred times already, but if you or Pixie need anything, just say the word.”
“She’s going to be in the hospital for a while. I may not be available every time you need me.” Finally able to think a little clearer, I remembered that Dr. Contreras had mentioned Pixie could be in the hospital for up to three months depending on how everything went, but a minimum of a month. So many things could go wrong, but I couldn’t think about that just yet. I had to have hope that this was going to work and be the answer to keeping Pixie here where she belonged.
She shrugged. “Take all the time you need. You’re family, Jenner. Don’t worry about your job. You’re irreplaceable.”
I turned my head to look out the windshield, choking back the emotion that filled my throat. I covered her hand still on my shoulder for a moment, giving it a thankful squeeze. My whole life, all I’d wanted was a family like I’d seen so many other people have. Over the years, I’d come to realize that family didn’t have to mean blood. Howler and Judge had started it, then Pixie had driven that truth home. Now I had Violet and her little family as well.
By the time I got home, Pixie had already texted to let me know she needed to be at the hospital by six the next morning. I wanted to go straight over to her place, but she said since this was going to be her last night alone for a while, she wanted to spend it on her own. Having experienced some of her stays in the hospital when she’d been admitted in the past, I knew she wouldn’t have nearly as much privacy as she’d become used to since living alone.
It drove me crazy, but I gave in. I would be hounding her around the clock for who knew how long, asking if she was okay, worried about every weird face she might make. It would annoy the hell out of her, so I gave her one last reprieve.
It was only when I got off the phone with her, reminding her to eat, that I remembered I was supposed to have dinner with Doe and her parents. With the news of finding a donor and Pixie needing to get everything sorted, I’d forgotten all about it.
I still hadn’t told Doe about Pixie or her cancer battle. Neither knew about the other, and I needed to change that. Hiding from reality in Doe’s arms had been the equivalent of burying my head in the sand. I’d thought about telling her repeatedly over the past week, but each time, something had come up to distract me. The majority of the time, it had been Doe just being her sweet, sexy self.
At least, that was what I told myself. In all honesty, it was because I wanted to ignore the harsh reality that I could lose Pixie. Telling Doe made the possibility of losing my honorary sister undeniable, and I just wasn’t ready.
If I didn’t talk about it, then I could pretend it couldn’t happen.
But there was no hiding from this any longer.
