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Mina stopped in the doorway, her arms crossed in front of her, getting her first look at the fighting siblings. Levi’s arms were crossed, too, his face tight and dark with anger. Even the stubble on his cheek seemed rougher.
Brook’s hands were by her sides, like she was relaxed, but her shoulders were lifted up to her ears, and her chin was tucked into her chest as if she were folding into herself. No matter what Brook thought she was doing, her posture gave away that she wasn’t listening at all.
“There are other movies,” Mina said. “Besides Dallas Buyers Club, too. It’s not exactly a happy movie, but in Precious, the main character is going to change the dire circumstances of her family, and HIV won’t stop her. You could watch a romantic comedy like Jeffrey or a feel-good friendship movie like Boys on the Side. The story doesn’t have to be about death. The story can be about life.”
“How long have you been there?” Levi asked.
“Long enough to know you’re going to let me be responsible for myself,” she said with a slight smile.
“I agreed with you about that before now.” Levi’s arms had fallen down by his sides, but his brows stayed crossed, this time not from anger at his sister. He actually seemed confused.
“Yes, but you were agreeing with me when I was irritated with you.” She shrugged. “I didn’t really know if you were agreeing with me to calm me down, or because you actually believed it.”
“You didn’t think I was being honest?”
“No. Maybe. You care so much, and I wasn’t sure how much you could allow me to have my independence and trust me to manage myself.” She shrugged. “My mom doesn’t trust me to manage myself, but I want my boyfriend to.”
“Oh.” He looked stricken. “I’ve always believed in you. I couldn’t even take my eyes off you that day you moved in. God—” his laugh had a self-deprecating hollowness to it “—I thought I must be the biggest creep in the world, because I stood at my kitchen window and stared. At least since then I’ve learned that it wasn’t your appearance that fascinated me, though I won’t ever get sick of looking at you. You’re this amazing, creative and interesting person, and sometimes I look at what you draw and what you do, and I think how I could easily fall into you and never come out. But you would get us out, because you move forward. No matter what, you move forward.”
Levi’s entire body softened. “And I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who’s impressed me more.”
“Oh.” Mina’s heart was swelling at Levi’s words, but the sound came from Brook. “You really love her, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Levi said, and that simple confirmation was worth as much as the long speech he’d just given.
“It’s just...” Brook looked back and forth between the two of them, honest confusion on her face.
“You don’t get it,” he said. “You still think I love Mina despite her illness. And you probably thought I loved Kimmie despite hers. But it’s not about despite or because of. I love Mina. And I loved Kimmie. And their illnesses were as much a part of them as their hair color or their laugh, but never a reason to love or not love them. Their illnesses just were.”
“But aren’t you scared?” Brook asked, fear pulling at the edges of her mouth.
“Of course I’m scared,” he said. “I’m terrified. Mina could be hit by a truck. I could slice off my arm. She could meet someone who never worried about whether or not she was taking her pills and realize how relaxing and much better that guy was. But if Mina has taught me not to take responsibility for other people’s actions, Kimmie taught me that the fight was worth everything. So long as you were fighting to keep going, then you were winning. I’m not sure I would have been strong enough to love Mina, if I hadn’t loved Kimmie first.”
Brook’s hand shook in front of her, not in anger, but like she was trying to get Levi’s words closer to her face, where she could see them and maybe where she could comprehend them. “I don’t understand how you can say that. Kimmie committed suicide. She gave up the fight.”
