AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I know.” He didn’t say “I am, too,” because he was scared for her, not scared for himself. Those were two different things.
“I can’t control this,” she said. “It’s out, and I can’t get it back, and I don’t know who knows and who will know and who will judge me and who will be afraid of me and who will still be my friend.” Tears dripped down her face, lining her cheeks with all the doors she imagined being shut on her.
“I know,” he said again. He couldn’t take away her fears, but he could acknowledge their importance.
“I wish you hadn’t said anything to Brook.”
“I wish I hadn’t, either. It’s the only thing about our relationship that I wish I could go back and change. The other—” he paused, uncertain of the word to use “—things we’ve run into can eventually make us stronger. This is a crack in the foundation.”
“Is it fixable?”
“That’s up to you.”
Tears caught the one corner of her half smile. “You’re the handyman.”
“But you’re the foundation.”
Her full smile sealed the crack for him, but he needed to get it sealed for her. She needed to get it sealed for her.
Then her smile faded. “What am I going to do?”
He opened his arms, and she stepped into them, resting her head against his shoulder. He hugged her tightly, the movement of stroking her hair as comforting to him as he hoped it was to her. “You don’t have to decide what you’re going to do, not right now. Right now, you can have dinner. Maybe watch a little TV. Take a break from it. The problem will still be there for you in the morning.”
“It might be worse by morning,” she said, her voice muffled by his shirt.
“Hey.” He put his hand under her chin and nudged her face up. “It might be worse tomorrow. But it’s not likely to be. And you won’t be able to solve anything while you’re this upset. I’ll finish cooking you dinner. You can have some wine. The problem won’t look better in the morning, but maybe sleep will bring new ideas.”
Mina’s face was blotchy, and her eyes were still red, but she looked beautiful. “Let’s have sex.”
He blinked. “Now?” Sex was the last thing he had expected, especially since anger and being kicked out of her house took up most of the spots on the “expected” list. He wasn’t sure he could count high enough to find a place for sex on that list.
“Yes—now.”
He hesitated, and fear dulled the brown in her eyes. “Unless you don’t want to,” she said.
Then he understood. Mina didn’t want sex because she desired him, because she was horny or because he was completely forgiven. She wanted sex because she needed to feel desired. She needed to feel loved. He could do that for her. He wanted to do that for her. He felt privileged to do that for her.
He smoothed his palms down her arms until he reached her hands. Once her hands were in his, he stepped back, away from her and toward the bedroom. “I want to,” he said, pulling her along behind him. “I’m the luckiest man on earth to be here with you.”
The words he’d meant to be sweet and reassuring stopped her in her tracks. “What if you’re not?” she said. He had to hold her hands tight to keep her fingers from slipping away. “What if Brook is right, and all this relationship will ever be is one struggle after another? What if this is just the beginning?”
If I drop her hands, she and Brook will both be right. “Faith, Mina. I need you to have faith. You need you to have faith.”
“Faith in what?” she asked, looking so broken that he worried neither of them would be able to collect all the pieces and put her back together again. “In one wrong decision after another? Why I want you to have sex with me? Why you are going to?”
“Was introducing yourself to me a wrong decision?”
“No.” There was no hesitation in her voice.
“Was our first date a wrong decision?”
She shook her head, quick and immediate.
He squeezed her hands so tightly that she winced. He loosened his grip but didn’t let go. “I need you to have faith in us if this relationship is going to go anywhere, but right now, let me be here for you. Because I want to and because you need someone.”
