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Ivan frowned. “Jakob’s right on this one. According to Antonio you had every right to punish him, but I kept hoping you’d stop your punishment before you finished him. When you went past even that, I wondered what kind of succubus could do that to him. Then I saw you and I don’t get it. You’re filled with marshmallows and rainbows. How could you do this to him?”
“I didn’t do anything,” she cried out. “How could I punish him when I thought what he felt for me was...nothing like what I felt for him? When he left me alone after he discharged me, and I thought he’d realized he was better off without me, as I always thought he would be?”
Ivan’s eyes narrowed before they shot wide. “That’s it. That’s my answer. You’re really that insecure, aren’t you?”
A shudder of misery shook her. “Only when it comes to him.”
Ivan huffed mirthlessly. “Then, boy, are you two even. He’s totally, explosively, inventively irrational when it comes to you, too. The man has been punishing himself for hurting you far more brutally than any of our abusers ever did.”
“The only thing that hurt me was thinking he didn’t...didn’t...”
“Didn’t love you?” Ivan supplied for her. “If he loved you any more he’d be downright dangerous. As it is, I think he is, very much so, to himself. All this...” Ivan flicked a hand at all the paperwork. “Signing his life away to you? Going to put bodies back together in the most dangerous war zone he could find? He might not be doing it consciously, but I know him. He’s given up on you, and he can’t face life without you, so like a missile on its last burst of fuel, he’s trying to go out with a bang.”
The horror of Ivan’s analysis and prophecy froze the blood in her arteries.
Then she exploded, pouncing on the two men, shoving the folders at them and dragging them up. “You have to stop him!”
Jakob’s gaze became contemptuous. “You think we didn’t try? After the number you did on him, he’s been like an automaton with no course-correction function left.”
Anger broke through her distress. She grabbed Jakob’s arm, shaking him. “Aren’t all of you all-powerful? Do something!”
Still probing her, Jakob remained unperturbed by her agitation. “Antonio instructed us to give you all this after he left for his mission.”
The world spun, made her stagger back. “He—he already left?”
Jakob steadied her, his gaze no longer accusing. “Not exactly, but that was another instruction. Not to tell you when he left or where he went.”
Ivan took her arm, turned her to him. “And that’s actually why we’re here now. To tell you he’s leaving tonight. Because we’re not the ones who’re all-powerful here. You are. The only one who can stop him is you.”
* * *
Lili believed Ivan and Jakob would never talk to her again.
Not after she’d blasted them for wasting all that time testing her and not telling her about Antonio’s plans right away.
She’d also drafted them for a ride to his mansion, where they said he’d be, packing and emptying it for her possession. On the way, with Antonio’s phone shut off, going mad thinking she’d be too late, she’d piled more and more invective on their sullen, silent heads.
Now they both turned to glare at her as she spilled out of the car at Antonio’s door.
Before they drove off in a shower of gravel, Jakob shouted from his window, “You broke him, now you fix him.”
Lili rushed to the front door. Climbing steps was still awkward for her, but she took them two at a time.
She entered the mansion to total silence, and dread almost chomped her in half. Was she too late? She’d failed to intercept him before he disappeared out of reach, maybe forever?
Terror mushroomed out of her on a scream. “Antonio!”
Footsteps exploded from the direction of the bedroom, which had been theirs once. They thundered before abruptly stopping. And then Antonio appeared across the great room.
He froze, just like she did.
But even across the distance his eyes told her everything, explained everything, put to rest everything that had been driving her insane.
He did share her heartache and misery, felt her same desperation and pain. But his agony seemed to have broken him. Her invulnerable Antonio. She’d done this to him.
Would he leave still because she’d hurt him beyond repair?
Suffocating with dread, all she could say was, “I love you. Please forgive me. Don’t go.” Then everything turned black.
