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And soon they were back in the bed, plates on their knees.
‘This feels ridiculously decadent,’ she said. ‘We should be working...’
‘Work-schmerk. We’ll get plenty of that done later. Right now you need to taste this.’ Carefully he scooped up some potatoes in a piece of dosa and obediently she opened her mouth so he could pop it in.
‘My God, that is incredible.’ She closed her eyes and he watched as she savoured the taste, felt a warmth of intimacy as they continued to eat, fed each other pieces of fruit until they were replete.
‘I don’t think I’ll ever eat again,’ she said. ‘Or at least till lunchtime.’
There was a pause and then she took a deep breath, glanced sideways at him. ‘Ava said to say hi.’
Luca realised he had no idea what to say. He settled for, ‘Say hi back.’
‘Also, Ava asked me to ask you something. She doesn’t want to put you on the spot by asking herself. I don’t want to wait to tell you so...’
‘Go ahead.’ Foreboding touched him.
‘Would you walk her down the aisle at her wedding?’
The question came from nowhere and he knew the shock must show on his face.
‘She knows it is a big ask but she just wants you to think about it. You don’t have to answer now.’
‘I can answer now. I don’t think that would work.’ The idea of taking on the role that James Casseveti would have done with such pride and joy and love seemed impossible to even contemplate, brought a complex swirl of emotion to the surface. He swung himself out of bed, pulled on his chinos and started to pace. ‘I am surprised Ava would even want that.’
Emily joined him, dressed in his T-shirt that fell to below her knees; she placed a hand on his arm. ‘You’re her brother. Her family.’
‘No.’ Luca closed his eyes, then opened them again. ‘Ava’s life and mine have been carried out separately and apart—we are only “family” because we chance to share a “father”. It is blood, not family. Family is about the bond you feel with people you grow up with and care about and who care for you. I like Ava but I can’t make her into real family.’ He saw a flash of sadness cross her face. ‘I’m sorry.’
Emily shook her head. ‘But you could get to know her, forge a bond with her. Of course, it would be different from your bond with your mother and Jodi, but it would still be real.’
‘There is too much history between us.’ He kept his voice gentle. ‘I know it is not Ava’s fault what her father, our father did. But it will always be there.’ The knowledge that she had been chosen over him, had kept James Casseveti’s love in a way Luca hadn’t. That was his real failure and he had no need of any reminders.
‘I understand that. But I still think you should try, otherwise your father’s actions are still affecting the present, preventing you and Ava from developing a relationship.’ She stepped forward and now her brown eyes held a plea. ‘You have a choice. I get it would be hard but...’
Anger flickered into being; how could Emily get it? ‘That is easy to say.’
Reading his expression, she reached out and took his hand, the touch warm and sweet, and it soothed the anger as she led him over to the wicker sofa. They sat down, still hand in hand. ‘I do get it. I get how hard it is to accept the favoured child, the one who actually grows up with a parent, sees them every day, is part of their real family.’
Her words were sincere and he studied her face, saw genuine empathy there, and the penny dropped. Emily had spoken of her dad’s second family, the brood of children. ‘You speak of your father’s second family?’
‘Yes.’
‘That is different. You have known those half-siblings all their life. You have a relationship with your dad.’
‘Yes. But it is dilute, a shadow of what he has with my half-siblings. Don’t get me wrong—he is fond of me. But I come second, I am of less importance. That’s natural—he sees me twice a year, for a week at a time. He lives with his other kids, is there for all the milestones. I get I’m lucky he saw me at all, but growing up it affected how I feel about my siblings. Part of me resented them, even though I know it’s not their fault.’
No, it had been her father’s fault. Perhaps he could have done things differently, made an effort to see Emily on his own, made some time for her to forge their own separate bond. And now another penny clanged down. That was exactly what Emily was asking him to do now with Ava. He put that thought aside for the moment, wanting to know more about Emily.
‘Do you still visit your family now?’
‘I haven’t for a while. In a way it still feels now how it did then. I wasn’t part of their unit and I couldn’t figure out how to infiltrate it. I was surplus to requirements.’
‘So you watched from the sidelines?’
‘Yes.’
‘I get that.’ He could picture a younger Emily, dark eyes wide and serious, at a busy bustling dinner table, listening to family ‘jokes’ she didn’t understand, trying to work out what to say or do, how to get her dad’s attention. And it sent a jolt of pain to his chest. ‘I used to read all the celebrity magazines that followed Ava’s lifestyle; I watched from the sidelines as well.’ He’d studied the pictures with such intensity, looking for clues, hoping he’d see something in his father’s expression that showed he felt regret, but all he’d seen was a father’s love for his daughter.
