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ot as much as I’d expected. There came that familiar nudge of guilt-laced panic. Because, like it or not, she suspected the reason for that was sitting opposite her. No need to panic. Given the choice she’d be with Cathy for Christmas, and soon enough she would be with her daughter and they would embark on a new phase of their lives. Gabe would be a treasured but distant memory.
‘But what?’
‘But I need to get used to it.’ Etta improvised with a different truth. ‘Cathy is growing up, and it could be that she does decide to live abroad for a while, and that’s how it should be. I don’t ever want her not to do something because she’s worried about me.’
‘You’re a great mum. You know that, right?’
Warmth touched her at the sincerity in his voice. ‘I’ve done my best.’
‘It can’t always have been easy. Seventeen and on your own with a baby.’
‘It wasn’t easy.’ There had been times when fear and panic and sheer exhaustion had threatened to overcome her. But through it all she had known she could never give up Cathy. She had wanted to give her baby everything her own parents—birth and adoptive—had failed to give Etta. ‘But I wanted to give Cathy the best I could—both in terms of love and lifestyle.’
‘You could be a role model for young single mothers. Or for teenagers who are having a rough time. You pulled yourself from a dark place. I know how much you could help some of the kids I work with—’ A shade of annoyance crossed his face as he broke off.
‘The kids you work with?’ Kaitlin’s words came back to her. Has he told you about his charity work?
Gabe hesitated, reached for a roll and buttered it, as if debating whether to close the conversation down.
Then he gave a lift of his broad shoulders. ‘It’s no big deal but it’s not something I publicise. I work with a charity and I offer self-defence classes for kids who’ve been bullied or have suffered physical abuse. Sometimes the bullies come in as well. Often the reason they’re bullying others is because they’ve been bullied or abused themselves—it’s a vicious cycle that needs to be stopped. A lot of them come from difficult backgrounds and are in care, or they’re on their own and isolated.’
‘So how long have you done this charity work and how come you haven’t publicised it? Surely that would be advantageous?’
‘It’s a personal thing.’
‘Personal?’ Etta surveyed him across the table as her mind pieced together various comments he’d made. She made a leap in the dark. ‘Were you bullied at school?’
His body stilled and she was pretty sure it wasn’t in reaction to the gentle lurch of the gondola as the wheel it made its way round.
‘Yes. Again this isn’t public knowledge, and I don’t want it to become so. But I’d rather you knew the truth than speculated.’
Etta shook her head. ‘I won’t tell or speculate. But...that must have been hell. I...I guess I didn’t think someone in your position would ever be bullied.’
‘My boarding school was rife with bullying, and in fact I made the perfect target. The older boys decided I was stuck-up and needed to be taken down a peg or two.’
His voice was matter-of-fact, but Etta’s heart twisted at the image of an eight-year-old Gabe, his blue-grey eyes filled with fear, being hurt.
‘It was a long time ago, Etta.’
Maybe, but she was pretty damn sure he still carried the scars. ‘How long did it go on for?’
‘Until I got old enough and skilled enough to stand up to them.’
‘But that must have been years. Why didn’t you tell anyone? Your parents? A teacher?’
‘Telling a teacher would have made it worse—the teachers wouldn’t have been able to protect me twenty-four-seven. Plus, that would have been snitching.’
‘What about your parents?’
No answer. And as Etta studied his expression she suddenly knew with utter certainty that he had told his parents and they had done nothing.
‘As I said, it was a long time ago. I dealt with it, I learnt from it, and now I’d rather not talk about it.’ He made a gesture to the window. ‘We’re nearly at the top.’
Conversation closed.
Reaching across the table, she covered his hand, hoping her touch conveyed sympathy and admiration as she gazed out at the panoramic view of Vienna. Her breath caught in her lungs, but Etta was unsure whether it was due to the incredible landscape from two hundred feet up or the feeling of warmth that Gabe had confided as much as he had—trusted her with such personal information.
‘It’s amazing.’
