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Debilitating panic struck. All pride, all her joy in her accomplishment shattered into shards of terror. The metallic taste of fear coated her tongue as she stared mesmerised into the looming menace of the water.
Common sense made an attempt to cleave through the fear—told her she had a life jacket on, that she was not in a storm-tossed sea.
But it made no headway against the inner hurricane of irrational panic that swept through her body and her mind. The pounding in her ears, the throbbing of her heart and an all too familiar clamminess swamped the voice of reason and refused to allow the tips and strategies garnered from her internet searches and research over the years to permeate.
The paddle fell from her hand and she tried to grip the side of the kayak, tried to remember how to breathe through the haze that clogged her lungs. The craft rocked and toppled and over she went, the ice cold shock of the water intensifying the nightmare.
‘Kaitlin!’
The deep, authoritative sound of Daniel’s voice reverberated faintly and she dimly registered a splash. Then his arms were around her. For an instant blind fear kicked her into fight or flight mode—images of her thirteen-year-old self filled her mind. Being picked up and bundled into the boot of the car, the struggle, the sickly scent of something clamped to her mouth, the wrench of pain... Being held over the water, submerged...
Then... ‘Kaitlin. It’s Daniel. I’ve got you. Trust me.’
Trust.
No, she couldn’t.
‘Just stop fighting and I’ll let you go. The life jacket will buoy you up. You’re safe.’
Slowly his voice had an effect, and she concentrated on the cold, the sensation of his arms around her.
Daniel. Daniel.
This was the here and now—not years ago. No one was trying to take her, force her... Slowly her brain kicked back into gear, pulled her into the present.
Do your breathing exercises—in and out, count to five. Open your eyes and focus on your surroundings. On the craggy contours of Daniel’s features, the water-drenched dark hair, one curl sculpted to his brow, the intense blue of his eyes, the outline of his mouth...
Muzzy warning bells rang but she ignored them, too caught in the moment as anxiety morphed into heightened sensations of an entirely different kind. Awareness soared inside her, oblivious to the layers of clothing that separated them, to the ice-cold of the water. On some level it occurred to her that it was the surroundings she should focus on—the towering height of the pines, the bulk of the mountains in the distance, the call of a kestrel as it swooped in the sky, the kayaks bobbing gently away from them—but it all faded against his aura that projected sheer strength and safety. Made her want to remain in his hold.
Think.
But thought was nigh on impossible when an answering awareness dawned in his eyes...when he was so close...when all she wanted to do was reach up and cup the jut of his jaw...
Stop!
Any minute reporters might converge on the shore—and, more than that, Daniel represented danger. He made it harder to be the person she wanted to be—Lady Kaitlin Derwent.
So from somewhere deep inside she summoned reserves of strength. ‘We need to get the kayaks. I’m all right now.’
Not entirely true, the icy fingers of water still made unease flare, but she could control it. Would control it.
‘They aren’t too far away.’
‘Are you sure you’re OK?’ he asked.
‘Yes.’ But her teeth had started to chatter now, and a wave of tiredness descended as he released her.
Telling herself she’d be fine, she watched as he retrieved the kayaks and returned.
‘Let’s get you back in.’
The soothing tone of his voice, the confidence that he would be able to do just that, gave her the impetus to follow his instructions, and relief hit as soon as she was in the relative safety of the kayak.
‘I’ll be right beside you.’
Kaitlin nodded, gritted her teeth and focused on the paddle, on their movement to the shoreline and what it represented. Finally they arrived, and she scrambled out onto dry land.
‘Let’s get you home and out of—’ He broke off and his lips turned up in a rueful smile. ‘You need to warm up.’
