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‘Physical attraction can be a short-term illusion—marriage is for the long haul.’
‘Exactly. That means the rest of your life.’ His voice was slow now, imbued with urgency. ‘If you are doing this for your parents you shouldn’t. This is your life and you only get one shot. Don’t waste it by living it any other way than the way you want to.’
‘Marriage is what I want. I want security, companionship, and most of all I want children.’
For the first time in this conversation she felt solid ground beneath her—she knew that, however impossible romantic love was for her, her love for her children would be absolute.
‘You don’t have to marry a prince to have children. You could marry someone you love.’
‘I don’t want love. It’s too unpredictable—too unreliable, too intangible.’ Kaitlin wanted to put her trust in the tangible. ‘That’s why the idea of an alliance appeals to me. There would be a mutual contract to fulfil...agreed expectations.’
‘What would you expect from him?’
‘Liking, respect, that he’s a good father to our children. Kindness. It works for me.’
Enough said—
time to move this conversation away from her, before she revealed even more than she already had.
‘What would work for you?’
* * *
Daniel blinked in surprise.
Kaitlin’s eyes narrowed. ‘We’ve discussed my attitude to long-term relationships—now it’s your turn.’
‘That’s simple. Avoid them like the plague and avian flu rolled together. I’m not a “long-term” sort of guy.’
‘Maybe you haven’t met the right woman yet?’
‘I have no intention of ever staying with a woman long enough to discover her eligibility as Ms Right. That’s why I only date women on the lookout for a quick physical fling. A night here, a weekend there...’
A flush touched her face. ‘Like in Barcelona?’
‘Yes. Although I don’t usually pick up strangers in hotel lobbies.’
Though that wasn’t the reason that Barcelona had been different—‘Lynette’ had been a diversion from the stark realisation that his family would not accept his extended olive branch, that there would be no reunion or forgiveness or understanding.
‘My usual dates are women I meet through work, on business trips or through colleagues. All are women I like and respect. But, unlike you, I don’t think that’s enough to warrant marriage. I have no wish to swap my bachelor lifestyle for the proverbial ball and chain. Too claustrophobic.’
A few years back he had tried a relationship, dated without a cut-off point, and it hadn’t worked out. The minute the relationship had veered even slightly towards serious it had felt like the equivalent of a noose round his neck, and every day the rope had got that little bit tighter...the walls had closed in a little bit more...another barrier had gone up. Pick the analogy, but he’d learnt the lesson.
‘There’s always divorce.’
‘Not straightforward. The desire to split might not be mutual, there could be children to consider, alongside a tangle of assets and emotions and mess, and someone will always get hurt.’
No matter what.
His mother had loved his father with all her heart and had been devastated by his death. Her subsequent marriage to his stepdad had been a supposed ‘alliance’, and that had been charged with misery. Lesson learnt. Love, marriage, kids, closeness were all to be avoided—too messy, too painful, too fraught.
‘Better to avoid the whole shebang.’
‘But my way avoids hurt and achieves a partnership that will run on an even keel.’
No doubt that was what his mother had believed.
‘You can’t control emotion. There is a possibility that one or both of you may fall for someone else.’
