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Hurt flickered across her eyes but he forced his arms to remain by his side.
‘I told you because I want you to understand that the type of alliance you are thinking about can backfire. My mother gained security and a family, but at a price—she’s had a loveless marriage, endured humiliation as part of the fabric of her very being and lived off the proceeds of crime. She did it for me, and I repaid her by walking away. It is that black and white. So sometimes choices, however good they sound on paper, turn out to have far-reaching consequences. You deserve better than an alliance, Kaitlin—you deserve love. You deserve what my parents had.’
Her fingers twined in the dramatic sweep of her gown and her mouth opened in preparation for speech. Then came that small characteristic shake of the head and she pressed her lips together in a gesture he had come to know and love—
His feet froze to the plush carpet and his limbs grew heavy with shock. Love? The word wasn’t in his lexicon and he didn’t want it to be. Did he? His hand rose almost of its own volition and he forced it down. Words hovered on his tongue in a tangle and he swallowed them. He didn’t have time for love—didn’t understand the concept or what went with it. Couldn’t offer something he didn’t have the ability to give.
She raised her eyes to his, brillian
t with a glitter he didn’t understand. ‘What about you, Daniel? Don’t you deserve love as well?’
‘No.’ The syllable reverberated in the confines of the balcony with a harsh echo. ‘I don’t want love—neither to give or receive it.’
‘You see, neither do I. But I do want children. So, I truly appreciate everything you have said, and I won’t enter into any alliance unless I have a watertight exit route that enables me to take my children with me.’
He felt frustration mixed with the bitter tang of failure as she backed away.
‘I also appreciate the past days and I truly wish you a happy life—I hope you get to see your mother and your siblings again. Goodbye.’
Words tumbled about in his brain, emotions churned in his gut and he knew they needed to be dispelled, eradicated, because they could do neither Kaitlin nor himself any good. So he would exit from her life, go back to his own—to a life ruled by his sheer will to succeed, make his company even bigger and better, grow his own personal fortune, buy a car, a yacht—whatever it took to prove he’d made it.
‘Goodbye, Kaitlin. I wish you happiness.’
For a heartbeat she stood stock-still and he etched her image into his brain, and then she turned and left the balcony, her back ramrod-straight, the click of her heels echoing and fading with finality.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
KAITLIN TOLD HERSELF to be strong. She recalled the words of the counsellor she’d been seeing for the past three months—a woman who had helped her in ways she couldn’t possibly have helped herself.
‘Sometimes the safe option isn’t the right one.’
Pushing her shoulders back, she entered the lounge where her parents sat. For an instant guilt touched her—the Duke and Duchess were getting older, and for all their faults their love and pride in the Derwent name and heritage was real.
‘Kaitlin.’ Her mother didn’t bother with preliminaries. ‘We have news for you. We believe there is a possibility that Prince Frederick may consider a renewal of his offer to you.’
The news was not a shock—in the past three months Prince Frederick hadn’t been seen with any other eligible women, but then again neither had he contacted Kaitlin.
‘So,’ continued the Duchess. ‘We will arrange a dinner, ask the Prince and his two brothers—and others, of course.’
‘I’d be happy to attend a dinner but...’ Kaitlin hauled in breath. ‘But I am not interested in a renewal of Prince Frederick’s offer.’
‘Excuse me?’
For the first time in Kaitlin’s memory the Duchess looked shocked, her mouth agape, her usual calm and serene beauty marred by the twist of her lips.
‘I don’t want to marry Prince Frederick or any other prince.’ More to the point, she couldn’t. Because it wouldn’t be fair to anyone—least of all herself—not when she loved Daniel.
It was a love that had endured her most persistent attempts to remodel it, purge it, suppress it. Instead his image permeated her being, her dreams. The idea of an alliance with anyone else curdled her soul.
‘You will do as we say, Kaitlin.’
‘No, Mother. I won’t. I am sorry to let you down but I cannot marry the Prince—though I am happy to see him and explain the situation to him.’
The Duchess pursed her lips, clearly for once without words.
‘Now...’ Kaitlin glanced at her watch. ‘I need to go. I’m meeting Cora.’
It was time to share some things with her sister, lay some ghosts to rest before she embarked on the next phase of her plan.
