AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You just so happened to have a kilt lying around?”
He lifts his chin. “Most real men do.”
“That’s my explanation?”
“That’s the one you get.”
“You get more mysterious by the minute, Houseman, but I’m feeling it.” I give him another thorough once-over. “You’ve got some pretty hot legs.”
His mouth lifts into a lopsided grin. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I nod honestly, studying his thick-toned calves while trying to shake off the daze of seeing him in this state. He helps me slide on an old ratty robe before we step outside into the chilly night.
“I’ll give you another chance to guess,” I say under the light of the porch, pulling a loaded black squirt gun from my purse and holding it sideways to his temple in a kill shot. Tilting my head, I widen crazy eyes. “Say one more wort, fool. One. More. Wort, and I’m going back to jail.”
He chuckles. “No clue.”
“Tha Lort is testing me. Madea, man, Madea!”
“Oh yeah.” He nods. “I get it now.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re trying to bullshit a bullshitter.”
“Fine, you look nothing like Madea. First of all, you’re white with female bone structure. No one is going to get it.”
I swallow and try again. “Helllurrrr.”
“Yeah, sorry, no one will guess.”
“You underestimate me.”
“You don’t think this is a little politically incorrect?” he asks as I shut my door and lock it.
“I can have a cross-dressing, gender-bending, hero of color if I want to. And she goes by my moral compass, which is pleasant until pissed.”
He chuckles. “If you say so.”
“Just drive the car, Houseman.”
Theo turns the ignition and bagpipes blare from the speakers.
“You call this noise music?” I shriek, covering my ears.
“Spoken like a true old lady!” Grinning, he turns it up, and I groan.
“You need to expand your tastes, Laney.”
“I have King George. I assure you I’m in good hands.”
“King George?”
“Good God, man, do you know nothing of country? George Strait.”
“Uh huh. Well, listen to this one, you should appreciate it.”
He shuffles the music, hits the gas, and we’re off. After a few seconds of the song, I look over at him and shrug.
“Not horrible, I guess.”
