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What are we?
That’s what I’m supposed to be analyzing, isn’t it? But it’s not my focus. Neither of them looked at me differently, at least not in the way I was predicting. The change I felt between us all after today is a far cry from the quenched curiosity I was expecting to feel. Their kisses after weren’t any different. If anything, I feel more connected to them both.
Could this be real?
I’ve had sex, plenty of sex in high school, in monogamous relationships with boyfriends I swore loved me, cared for me, but later showed their true colors. All of the pain I assumed I felt when they’d ultimately rejected a future with me felt empty, meaningless, pale in comparison to any experience I’d had with them to the one I had today and to the possibilities of what’s next.
I study Sean as he punches in the gate code and the car slowly makes its way down the driveway.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he finally speaks up. He meets my stare. It’s full of the same surety Dominic kissed me with before he left.
They truly aren’t judging me, something about that eases a bit of the tension in my shoulders.
But why? Why aren’t they judging me? Why don’t they see me differently?
I remain mute as he parks and slides me over to him on the bench seat.
“Tell me anything.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Own it, fucking own it,” he says adamantly. “Own it and don’t let you or anyone else make you feel like it was wrong.” He presses a finger to my temple. “It’s going to take some time for you to make peace with it, but fucking own it, Cecelia.”
“It was…” I try to mask the shake in my voice.
“Incredible,” he answers for me. All I can do is nod. He chuckles at my expression. “I’m a bastard for saying it, but I see your mind is blown.”
He chuckles further at my scowl and pulls me into his lap. His hazel eyes twinkle with humor as he brushes the hair away from my neck. “If you’re wondering what happens now, the answer is we don’t know. Dom, me, or you. We don’t know what this will or won’t be. And that’s the fun part.”
“What if someone gets hurt?”
“Chance we have to take.”
“Why do I have a feeling that someone will be me?”
“I don’t want to… The way I feel about you, hurting you is the last thing I want. But if you’re debating on a choice, on choosing, I’m telling you right now you don’t have to. Unless you want to, and in that case, I hope it’s me.”
I blow out an exasperated breath, which only makes his smile grow.
“There’s a beauty to keeping a secret, Cecelia. But it can only remain one if you choose to guard it. Years from now, when you’re toasting with your friends during Sunday brunch, before the bitching commences, this secret can be the subtle smile that tilts those beautiful lips before you take your first sip of champagne. Everyone has them, but not many can keep them.”
He brushes my hair behind my shoulder before trailing his knuckles along my jaw. “It was beautiful watching you come undone, giving in to what you wanted. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Dom so wrapped up in any woman.”
“Don’t…don’t say that.”
“Why?”
“Because if he feels anything…I want him to tell me himself.”
Sean nods, as if in perfect understanding.
“This is really okay with you?”
“You’re in my lap, looking at me like you want me, why the hell wouldn’t I be okay with that?”
“I don’t want to lose you,” I manage, my breath hitching, eyes watering.
“Cecelia, I swear to you, you will never lose me over this. Put that thought out of your mind. What happened doesn’t make my feelings for you any less real. I’m so fucking crazy about you.” A soft kiss, then another. “You gave me your trust today, and I need it.” He swallows. “There’s very little you could do at this point to get rid of me.”
