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I focus on the beam of the headlights as I sift through my thoughts.
The phone rule, his dealbreaker. The secrecy. The omissions and half-truths. The subtle hints he’s been giving me since the day we met. This is what he’s been hiding, and I still have more questions than answers. It’s not enough.
“Then explain.”
“I just did.”
“You have to know how infuriating this is.”
“Trust me, I do.”
“Yet, you won’t give me anything.”
He glances my way. “Let me guess, you asked around tonight and got no answers.”
“How did you know that?”
“Because that’s how it is.”
“So that’s what this is…like a secret society? Like the masons or some shit?”
He doesn’t answer.
“Take me home.”
He chuckles. “I am.”
“And then lose my number.”
His smile disappears as his fingers tighten on the top of the wheel. “If that’s what you want.”
“I want the fucking truth!”
“You’re getting it,” he says calmly, “you just don’t like what I’m telling you.”
“Because it makes no sense!”
“It makes perfect sense.”
A minute or two of silence follows before he finally speaks up.
“Can you keep a secret?”
“Of course.”
“Too quick to answer,” he snaps. “I mean really keep a secret. Can you think of secrets that you’ll take to your grave, that you’ve never confided in anyone, ever?”
“I have a few, yeah.”
“And how do you go about doing that?”
“By never talking about it. Or thinking about it. Acting like it never happened.”
“Exactly, I can’t give you specifics on a history that doesn’t exist. I can’t give you rules and details or dates about th
ings that never fucking happened.”
“So, all of those people back there?”
