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“Why do you say that?”
“I have a feeling.”
“Or a secret?”
“A feeling,” he insists.
“Well, look at us,” I pipe up, “with our Daddy issues.”
“At least I had a man willing to step in where he failed.” He runs a hand down my abdomen, eyes lowered, nostrils flaring. He’s angry for me.
“I’m okay,” I say, running my fingers along his jaw and over his shoulders. “I really am okay. It’s time to suck it up and move on. But not one of my thousand dreams will include him.”
“You think you are okay, but the truth is, that’s a blow you’ll feel in some degree for the rest of your life.” His eyes flame. “I’ve never wanted to kill a man in cold blood as much as I did him yesterday.”
“You don’t ever have to be that guy.”
“I will take him down, Cecelia.” It’s a promise. Probably the only one he will ever be able to make me.
“You don’t have to do that, either.” His gaze goes from rolling embers to accusatory within the same second.
“I didn’t mean it like that. Tobias,” he lifts, and I force his eyes back to mine. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not condoning what you’re doing either, but I’m not going to try and talk you out of it. I would never ask you to.”
His stare turns incredulous. “How can you still feel anything for him?”
“I feel sorry for him.”
“That’s feeling something.”
“I’ll pity him when you’re done with him, too.”
He pushes me back to hover above me, his hand covering where my heart lay before he presses a kiss to it. “I’ve been such a bastard to you.”
“Yes, you have.”
“Don’t forgive me.”
“I haven’t and I won’t.” I fist his hair, pulling his eyes to mine.
“You’re trying to forgive me,” he says. “And I don’t deserve it.”
“Probably not. But I understand the game, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t stay angry because I know the reasoning behind some of what you do. I know how naïve that seems, but we weren’t just fooling around last summer, I was made to understand what this is about. I respect what you’re doing.” I roll my eyes and draw my next words out reluctantly. “I admire you for it, a lot more than I’ve let on.”
He nods, threading our fingers, his eyes unfocused.
“It’s been my life for so long, at this point I’m not sure if the man I am now and the boy who took it on still agree on much. And Dominic is so much like I was. And he’s only getting angrier. We’ve earned enough capital to go legitimate, but he likes the hunt too much. And he loves the street games. We’ve been arguing a lot about the way he handles things here.”
“What is it you want to happen?”
“Too much for a lifetime. I’m not sure how far I want it all to go.”
“Meaning?”
“I’ve said too much,” he drops his head and rolls it back and forth on my stomach.
“You said you need a vacation. I really don’t think that’s equivalent to spilling trade secrets.”
“Let’s change the subj
