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Another few minutes of silence.
“He really loved me.”
“I know.” I sniffed, no longer able to hide the fact that I was crying.
“He loved you, too,” she said, pulling away from my lap to sit beside me, her arms stretched behind her.
“He was awesome,” I said wiping my face quickly, unable to hold back my compliment. “You look so beautiful,” I remarked. Her dress was ruined from the knees down but I couldn’t help but notice how perfect she looked in white silk covered in soft lace. “He would have loved that dress.”
She simply nodded and stood up. “Are you going to marry Dean?”
I stood shocked at her words and this time she faced me fully for an answer to her question. I said nothing as she studied me. “Take a lesson, big sister. You have no idea how much time you have left.”
Dallas
Now
Three days later, we had a small ceremony celebrating Grant’s life on his land. Rose scattered his ashes underneath their tree. I learned later that night from Rose that Grant had taken her to the land for a picnic on their first date. She spent hours telling me about their time together, reliving the past four months of her life. We laughed and cried until we fell asleep and woke up only when our mom came in to join us. She said nothing as she pulled back the covers and pulled us to her, wrapping us up tightly in her embrace as we drifted back off.
Against protest from my mother, my father, and me, Rose went back to school the next week. In a way, I understood it and so did my parents, but we still feared for her daily.
As much as I didn’t want to admit it, she was right. I could not be her every day. I would just have to settle for being what I could and as far as I was concerned, it would never be enough.
“How is she?” Dean asked as I hung up the phone with her.
“The same. She’s trying so hard, Dean. I just don’t know how to help her. He pulled the phone out of my hand, setting it down on the nightstand and undressed me. It had been three weeks since Grant’s death and I still felt completely useless when it came to helping her cope.
“Lie down,” he said, gently pushing my shoulders until I was beneath him.
“I feel so guilty,” I said, looking up into his beautiful, crystal blue eyes, realizing just how much I had missed him. For the first time in weeks, I instantly felt connected. Our newly rekindled relationship had taken a back seat to my need to stay consistently there for Rose.
“What do you feel guilty for?” he asked, cradling my face in his hands.
“Everything, Grant’s gone and we still have each other. I feel guilty for being happy with you.”
“I understand that. But we do deserve a little happiness. I think we’ve earned it, don’t you?” I nodded with a smile. “We will take care of her. We will be there,” he assured me. I kept my eyes locked on his and he smiled when he recognized my focus was now fully on him.
“Hi,” he whispered as he took my lips into a slow kiss.
“Hi,” I whispered back.
“I’ve missed you,” he said, trailing his kiss up my cheek.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he said sweetly, tenderness running fluid in his eyes. “I’m just so sorry that it happened.”
I ran my hands over his chest and sighed. “You have been incredible. Thank you for taking care of us.”
“Always…Can I touch you?”
“You don’t even have to ask.” He took my lips gently and made love to me slowly. When we had both let go and were tangled in the sheets an hour later, I crossed my hands on his chest and put my chin on them.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked, running his fingers through my hair.
“I don’t want to waste any more time.”
He stopped his hand, cupped the back of my head and leaned in with his reply. “Agreed, you will hear no complaints from me.”
