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ime other than to visit the place that I loved the most. I had spent every waking moment either practicing surgical techniques or in surgery. Time off was a nuisance to me. I was fine as long as I was working. It was my only escape. I decided to head to my parents’ house. I’d had enough inner dialogue for a lifetime and sitting in the rental Grant and I were supposed to share as newlyweds was torture.
The weather was beautiful, so I was sure my mother would be in her rose garden. I pulled up to find her exactly where I assumed she’d be.
“Hi, Mom,” I called as I spotted her in the corner, tending to her pride and joy.
“Hi, baby!” she said, throwing her gloves and trimmers on a nearby table before hugging me to her. “This is a nice surprise.”
“I was hoping you could use me,” I said, holding up my bare, helping hands.
“Of course, your father is out pretending to be busy. Come on.” She gave me a set of gloves then we spent the afternoon caring for her garden. She was as meticulous with her yellow roses as I was with my surgery. We sat back later that day, drinking a bottle of wine and admiring our hard work.
“Thanks, Mom, I needed today.”
“Is it getting any easier?”
“No, not at all. If anything, the more time that passes, the more I feel like I lose him. Does that make sense?”
“Perfect sense,” she said. She didn’t offer any advice. She simply listened while I gave her what I could. And that’s exactly what I needed, to talk about him, to remember him and for someone to let me.
When my father arrived, I got lost in their mindless chatter as they cooked my favorite dinner of beef stroganoff. They had gone from a painful reminder of what could’ve been to a great distraction at this point. Even Dallas’s newfound happiness and the recent wedding hadn’t bothered me like I thought it would. Dean had fought the good fight, and I couldn’t have been happier.
She got the right ending, and I couldn’t be bitter because I knew she’d suffered greatly for it.
I guess it was just easier to see everyone around me happy than the opposite. No one deserved the kind of battle I was dealing with. Just trying to function in the norm was still a struggle for me. I’d suffered anxiety attacks the first few months, in a debilitating way. No matter how much I tried, Sunday nights terrorized me to no end. I was always afraid of the coming week, unsure of what might happen. I was sure that kind of thing would ruin my medical career. But when I found out I’d been accepted in McGuire’s surgical residency program, I took the steps to remedy my fear, pushing through to keep the one thing I had left. And it worked.
“I think we may do something other than open a general practice,” I announced with a fork full of beef and noodles. This got my parents’ attention.
“You and Dallas have wanted to open a practice for years,” my father said in shock.
“And we still want to do something. We’ve been talking about it for months and now that Dallas is in oncology, we are thinking more along the lines of a treatment center.” I looked between them as my father sat back in his seat, chewing on the idea. “I mean I still have years left in my surgical program but Dallas can open while I finish.” I swallowed, looking between them as they remained a captive audience. “Dad, you know I was thinking about Grant’s land. Can you look into it for me and see what the asking price is? I think if we do anything I want to do it there.”
My father looked at my mother, completely stunned.
“What?” I asked, looking at them. “I loved that land, I think it would be perfect to build on, it’s right off of the highway which would mean good exposure and Dallas agrees. The new owners haven’t touched it. Grant wouldn’t have wanted it to go unused.”
“Rose,” my mother said, taking a sip of wine as my father excused himself from the table, “tell me what you see.”
“What do you mean?” I said, thoroughly confused at my parents’ sudden change in behavior. “I want to build on it, to do something with it and possibly live there. I just keep going back to it. I know what it means to me because it was where I fell in love with Grant, but there is something else there. I can’t explain it. It doesn’t hurt me to be there or, at least, I don’t feel like it does. It hurts me more to leave. I still want a future there. It’s what made me happy.”
My father returned minutes later holding a single piece of paper that he set in front of me on the table. I looked up at him in confusion before he took his seat once again. I scanned the document then looked at them in shock.
“We weren’t sure if it was the right thing to do until you said something. We know how much you loved it there but we just weren’t sure,” my father finished, concerned by my reaction. I felt my lip began to tremble as I looked at my mother in disbelief. She nodded a reassuring yes and I collapsed in a heap of tears.
“It’s all yours, little woman,” my father said, wrapping his arms around me as I shook with all my weight as I cried into his chest, thanking him. “I wanted to do something, anything to ease your suffering but I wanted to wait until you had your bearings to let you know I had obtained it. It wasn’t a hard sell to the judge and I knew how much it meant to you, Rose. I’m glad I did right by getting it.”
“Dad,” I said, gripping his shirt, my heart full of gratitude and my face soaked with tears. “It’s the best thing you’ve ever given me besides my sister.” As soon as I got my emotions under control, I added with a sniff, “I have to pay you back for this. You can’t just give me Grant’s land.”
My father smiled at me. “I can do whatever I want, Rose. It’s part of the fun of being a parent. Your mother sold her motels some years back, and I’ve done well. We invested well. We are prepared to support you and Dallas in whatever you decide. Think about it and let’s get to work.” Overwhelmed with gratitude, I looked at them as they smiled on at me. I clutched the title to me as if it would disappear. “It’s done. No one will ever be able to take if from you. Do you believe me?”
I nodded in reply, still unable to put proper words together. It was an amazing thing they did and I wanted them to see the happiness it brought me. I pulled in the lingering heartache and wiped away my tears with a smile.
“So let’s talk about the treatment center,” my father said excitedly. I could see the scenarios running through his mind. He was truly one of the best architects out there and I knew the fact that this project belonged to his daughters made it an even better job for him.
“Dad, it cost’s millions to start what we have in mind. It’s kind of unrealistic,” I said, studying the paper, still in a cloud of disbelief. I hadn’t lost everything.
I hadn’t lost everything.
“Millions is what we have, Rose,” my father said, winking at my mother.
