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“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.” My heart was pounding as I laid it in her hands.
“Bullshit,” she said, sliding her panties on and picking up her bag. “I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure when you care for someone you don’t abandon them and make them think they aren’t important. You tell them how much they mean to you, you touch them, you…you let them know you care…and you don’t fuck everyone they know and never speak to them again.”
“Is that what this is about? Who I’ve slept with?” I already knew the answer.
She pulled her skirt down and thought only briefly before facing me. “Maybe…High school, now here. I can’t go one day without hearing what an amazing fuck you are. I mean…how can I take you seriously?” She grabbed her bag and turned toward me as I sat still blocking the door. “At least I have first-hand knowledge now.”
“Dallas, look at me,” I said, commanding her attention. She slowly looked down at me, a cloud of hurt covering her face. “It stops now. I only want you.”
“I am pretty much the only one left, aren’t I?”
“Stop it. I haven’t slept with half of the women you think I have.” It was true, my reputation had proceeded me. But I was still guilty, and it was hurting her again.
“Well, we all have our dirty secrets, right?”
“I know everything, Dallas,” I said, tugging her hand from the floor so she was forced to look at me. I pulled myself to my feet. She pulled at the door and I closed it, shaking my head no. She let out a frustrated breath as she paced in front of me. “I know that you dated Johnny Rivers your entire junior year and never slept with him. I know you went to prom with Michael Morehouse senior year and broke his nose that night because he cornered Rose at an after party. I know you went to summer school to retake classes and bring up your GPA. I know that you smoked pot in the steam room on your senior trip in Florida. I know that you damn near drown in Lake Grapevine drinking with friends on the 4th of July. I know the car you drove, the guys you dated, and of two you left broken hearted over the summer. I also know the very fucking minute you got into that car to come here and the reason I know is because I asked. And the reason I fucking asked is because I had to know because I couldn’t wait for you to get back to me.”
My heart was pounding out of control as she let out a hard breath of disbelief, mouth gaping. Twin tears slid down her face as she studied me, absorbing my words. I scooped her into my arms, declaring to her what I’d wanted to for as long as I’d known her.
“I love you, Dallas. I just couldn’t do a damn thing about it until now.”
“You are romantic and beautiful but you are completely reckless with the people that love you”—Laura (Room 212)
Dallas
Now
Five cold showers due to Dean’s kiss and a temper tantrum with my wayward hair later, I was dressing for the Dallas Memorial fundraiser. All doctors unscheduled were asked firmly to attend and I knew I would see Dean tonight. It took me hours to attempt to pick out a dress only to throw on some clothes and spend close to a thousand dollars on a new one. It was a deep purple that hugged my torso perfectly and flowed loosely around the bottom. It had a deep V in back, complemented with small, black rhinestones. I got a quick wax and had spent another hundred getting an unnecessary facial. I would have to eat TV dinners for a month to make up for it. I was saving every spare dime I had to open my practice.
I was still furious with my inability to keep Dean’s touch out of my thoughts when Josh came in, dressed to perfection, then nuzzled my bare back. I pulled out of his grasp.
“What the hell?” he questioned, eyeing me carefully.
“This…fucking…hairdryer!” I said, throwing it down and watching the plastic pieces fly all over the floor.
“I guess you showed it who’s boss,” he said, his laughter echoing throughout my tiny bathroom.
“Will you get out! Just get out!” I said, shoving him out the door, half-animated, half-frustrated out of my mind.
“Jeez, I’ll get you some wine,” he said, backing up, his eyes wide.
“I’m sorry,” I offered in an apology. “Wine would be good, thanks.”
Damn it!
I shut the door behind him and slumped down on my toilet lid, breathing in deep.
I knew exactly why I was falling apart. I had no right to take my frustration out on Josh. In the last month I had lost my damn mind. If I was a mess when Dean walked into my appointment, I was a total basket case at this point. I’d spent the last seven years re-imagining my life—a life without him—and strengthening the woman he left behind. I had to protect myself…my heart from ever being that vulnerable again. He was ruining me by being here, and now I was more than tempted to let him do so.
The way I had always been when it came to Dean.
The way I always feared I would be.
Dallas
Now
“God, you are beautiful. I can’t wait to get you back home,” Josh murmured, grabbing my hand and kissing it before putting it back in my lap. He pulled up to the hotel and gave the valet his keys, keeping his hands on me the entire time we checked in. The thoughts swirling through my head had me at the bar minutes later. I took in my surroundings and was doing my best to answer Josh without being curt as he spoke to me, when all I wanted was to be alone with my thoughts. I was working on my third martini when I heard a familiar laugh behind me. I kept my eyes zeroed in on Josh as every nerve in my body stood at attention.
