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“You are a shrink! I would think people are your thing.” I crossed my arms as he remained completely calm as he sat across from me.
His voiced was laced with anger as I stumbled with my thoughts. “I won’t apologize for my education. That’s ridiculous. I would have told you things eventually, but you went looking for them. Why are you so upset? Did I ruin your ambition of slumming it with me?”
“That’s not fair,” I defended. “I was happy you were a bar owner. I was happy I didn’t have to pretend with you. I thought you were living in the real world, but I just dove into your own personal world of make believe.”
“How so?”
“You don’t act like a scholar. You don’t present yourself in a way—”
“That suits society? I know. I’m proud of myself.” His grin was contagious, and I couldn’t help but answer it. “I believe the word you’re looking for is humble. I have no reason to list my accomplishments to anyone. I have nothing to prove. Those are things I did for me.” We sat across from each other for long moments as I drank him in. His t-shirt was form fitting and clung to him in all the right places. His jeans fit him well, and I couldn’t stop staring at his pronounced Adam’s apple. My lips itched to trace it. It was sexy as fuck. He looked fresh and beautiful and insanely fuckable.
He hadn’t lost a wink of sleep, either. Asshole.
This is your drama. Keep cool, Nina.
“How did you know?”
“About your sexual preference? I studied it. I actually did my thesis on sexual behavior.” He paused only briefly before he added, “I also practiced it.”
My eyes shot to his, and I saw a f
ire brewing.
“Well, contrary to what you might think, I’m exhausted, so you won’t be able to snap your fingers for a snack today.” I moved to get out of the car.
“If I wanted to fuck you, Nina, I would already be doing it,” he snapped, gripping my wrist.
There it was again, that instant longing. My chest rose and fell with the command of his voice. Was he doing this on purpose to fuck with me? I was aroused when I was supposed to be offended. I had more questions for him but decided against asking them to give myself a chance to get my shit together.
His grip loosened. “I’ll stop chasing you, Nina. If that’s what you want.” Hurt spread through my chest as I looked up at him. I saw sincerity and a twinge of worry. We’d started this too soon. I wasn’t ready for commitment, and now I knew it. I was still healing from the loss of Devin. I shouldn’t have entertained the situation, but it was too late. He had his hooks in slightly, and I loved the feel of them.
“I’ll come to you,” I murmured, grabbing the flowers he’d brought me and kissing his lips briefly. He nodded, seeming satisfied, and I got out of the car, barely making it through a shower before passing out in my bed. I woke up twelve hours later to a text from Devin.
Devin: We need to talk.
For fuck’s sake.
“Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.”
? Chuck Klosterman
§§
Devin
“Handle this or I’ll do it for you.” The phone went dead in my ear, and I rolled my eyes.
Another day, another threat.
At least I’d won the majority of the war with Eileen, a situation I would never get myself into again. These days I was less the predator of the rich and unassuming and more of an unwilling puppet.
I’d let it go too far, especially with Nina.
Another unanswered text let me know it was time to let her go. I couldn’t force her to listen and she damn sure wouldn’t forgive me. Pride was not a factor in this. I had no choice but to try to get her to keep her word and sell the land back to me. Now more than ever, the risk was high, and it was only a matter of time before she would be pushed into the fire.
It couldn’t happen. I wouldn’t let it happen.
Did I expect her to forgive me? The tragedy was, she would never know that I loved her. That I still love her, that I would always love her.
