AllFreeNovel
Share Us
§§
Nina
Love.
Devin.
Loves me.
And I fucked him. I fucked him…again. I stood in the shower for the second time this morning in a daze. Devin’s words circulated through my mind, his touch reverberating throughout my body as I stood stunned. My mind was at war with my heart, and both were in complete upheaval. My heart ripped through the grave, gasping for air as my mind continued to shovel dirt on top of it, both with their own screaming opinions, leaving me eager for silence.
That was Devin: a perfect storm of everything I did and didn’t want. And I’d given him hope and found myself hoping as well.
“I’m leaving her.”
Oh, God, if that were the truth, what did that make me? Next?
Even if I didn’t believe Devin was capable of doing the same thing to me, even if I believed his intent, could I respect myself for trying with him? It had never been an option for me before. That option had flown right out the window the minute I saw Eileen naked on his desk. And even before that, he’d warned me we could never be more.
Wake up, Nina!
What the hell had I done letting him back into my bed? Jesus help me if I didn’t want him there now. Devin promised me answers and a better version of himself before that would ever happen. He’d never so much as promised me I’d see him again when we were dating, and now he was asking for a future.
And you believed him?
If there were an award for self-loathing, I would wipe out the competition. I climbed back into the limo, noting it was still fairly early, and I would make good time to the office. All that drama and my day hadn’t even really started yet.
“Carson, play something, anything.”
“Yes, Ms. Scott.” Relief washed through me as classical piano came drifting through the speakers. I didn’t recognize it but was thankful it didn’t have the ability to jog any memories.
He loves me. Now he loves me. Now he’s sorry. Now that he knows I’d been fucking his cousin. Was this some sick competition? I’d been so desperate for release, I’d begged him to fuck me only for it to turn into the most intense lovemaking I’d ever experienced, and by a man who reassured me time and again he wasn’t capable. I closed my eyes, trying desperately to erase his lips from my neck, his gentle tongue, his tender touch as he explored me. Those eyes, those beautiful eyes that coveted me, worshiped me. Why was he doing this to me? Why was I letting him?
“FUCK!”
Carson jumped in his seat, keeping his hands on the wheel as he eyed me in the rearview mirror. I put up the partition to avoid further embarrassment. Carson was no fool to my behavior after several of my encounters with Devin. He’d seen me silently cry, seen the evidence of our relationship in my appearance and behavior. If he hated Devin, he had a right to. Taylor had caught on as well. These people cared for me and showed as much in their contempt for him.
And once again I’d let the devil have my body, lie to me with his gold dipped tongue—an upgrade from silver due to this morning’s thorough showcase.
No, I wouldn’t believe him yet. I refused to. My mind won this round. But my pounding heart reminded me seein’ is believin’ and if Devin made good on his word…well, I would cross that bridge when I came to it. Even if it made me the biggest fool, even if it ended the rest of me, I was still very much in love with that man.
And he loves me.
Even obsessing over Devin, I felt the sadness creep in for the man who had accompanied me last night, held my hand, and promised me a dance I would never receive.
Aiden.
I shook my head in denial with the way it played out. Aiden hadn’t even given ending our relationship a second thought. But he was in the right.
And I had, after all, just this morning bedded his cousin.
Was I even capable of being faithful anymore?
And even if I had denied Devin, I would have been faithful to a memory. Aiden ended it. I had no one to be faithful to. And yet, it still felt wrong. But being with Devin in those moments had never felt so right.
Aiden wanted me, treasured me, and treated me so beautifully. There was a definite connection between us, sexually and emotionally.
But I had to face the truth. Aiden and Devin were connected as well. And though I was dying of curiosity, I would probably never get the truth out of either of them. Devin had promised to tell me everything. And then asked that I hand over the land.
