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Blue_Alice: Who are you?
MadHatter: I’m the guy with the thick cock you’ll be wondering about tonight while you play with your toys.
Blue_Alice: Charming.
MadHatter: I can be.
And he was gone, if it had even been a he. For all I knew, it could have been a she. This too fascinated me. I thought of women and my sexual boundaries when it came to them and decided one leap at a time. Although women appealed to me from the waist up, I had no desire to explore the waist down. Then again, I’d really never had the opportunity.
The next day, I brought my iPad on every single errand with the chat room queued up. He could see me. He knew I was waiting. I looked desperate, but I needed this! I felt it in every part of me. I needed to be sexually free. I’d slept with six men in my thirty-two years. Two one-night stands, one when I was in college and the other right before I met my husband, Alex. The rest were boyfriends and not one of them was a freak, well not in the sense that I wanted them to be. A few got me off with their mouth, but it wasn’t earth shattering. It was more or less a struggle and an enormous amount of effort with constant murmurs of “Are you close?” during what seemed to be rigorous work. So, I rarely got off.
I had, as the mysterious messenger predicted, taken my toy to bed last night, imagining the man behind our brief chat. I was hot in a way I hadn’t been in months at the possibilities alone. This had to be explored. I felt like I was a sexual creature on the verge of finally introducing myself. Once I was home, I unpacked my groceries, praying for the fucking iPad to ping. Just ping! When I got nothing, I decided to forgo cooking and treated myself to dinner at Tubby’s, a nearby seafood restaurant on River Street. I sat on the balcony watching the boats glide down the river while the sun set. Couples passed by below me on the busy street holding hands and smiling while I dined alone. Minutes later I got my usual message from Alex letting me know he wouldn’t be home tonight and I rolled my eyes. Why did he even bother at this point? God, how I hated him.
Later at home, I thought about looking up some listings to show. I had a real estate license I rarely used and knew it was getting close to time to put it back to use. I was good at it, and I enjoyed it, but when my marriage fell apart I dropped it completely. I had stayed at home for a month solid after hearing Alex’s first conversation with one of his mistresses. I didn’t need to see anything. The prick had no issue talking openly with her behind his office door. If you are going to cheat, at least have the smarts and decency to hide it. The devastating thought that he didn’t care enough to hide is what really drove the knife into my heart. A few months after I had questioned him about his distance, I realized he had no intention of revealing his indiscretions to me. He was simply that fucking stupid. I heard every word he uttered to those women. It was eerily close to the way he used to speak to me. It hurt me horribly at first, now it just made my stomach turn. Why the fuck was I still here? What more reason did I need? He cheated; our marriage was over. I hated him. Why didn’t I just ask for a divorce?
PING!
A wave of adrenaline shot through me as I looked at the screen. It was an address. It was obvious why. It was an invitation, and one that came too soon for my comfort.
Well that would be a hell no. I wanted to at least have a conversation longer than a few short sentences before I agreed to a rendezvous.
Blue_Alice: Hello?
No response came. I already knew the address would be my only message tonight. It was a challenge. He wanted to see what I was made of. If I was willing to step out of my comfort zone. All the reasonable reactions raced through me.
What kind of person barely introduces himself then gives an address to a total stranger?
Then again, what kind of person tells a complete stranger they want to be fucked six ways from Sunday?
I stared at the address for what seemed like an eternity. Okay, I could drive by. What was the harm? I would just look around, scope the place out. I could do this. Throwing my blanket off my legs and retiring my yoga pants, I took a scalding hot shower. I Googled the address with a towel wrapped around me, fear creeping into my thoughts. My search, of course, showed only results with possible directions. It had to be a home address. He gave me directions to his home? I shook off the towel, covered myself with scented lotion, and took in my body. I had long legs and curvy hips, a little extra weight made them even more pronounced. My breasts were pushing a C-cup, and though they weren’t perfectly proportionate to my hips and ass, I was fine with them. I pulled out a thin black sheath dress that collared at the top, hugging my neck snugly, slipped on my spiked red heels and put on my best face. Thick eyelashes and perfectly lips later, I ran my hands through my dirty blonde hair that I’d ironed straight. I was ready.
After two small glasses of wine and a mini-breakdown later, I corked my bottle and made my way to my car. You can do this, Vi. You can also back out at any time.
My cell had no issues navigating the address. My GPS estimated my trip to thirty minutes, and in thirty minutes I could be in the midst of possibly the best or worst situation of my life. Then again, I couldn’t imagine anything worse than the one I was already in.
I had enough heart left to give. I just didn’t give a damn enough to use it. This wasn’t about my heart; this was about a thirst I’d fought long enough. This would be good. This could be my something to look forward to.
Come on, Violet, divorce is not death and you’ve got a lot of living to do.
My something to look forward to ended up being The Rabbit Hole. The bar did exist, though the sign said private club. A wave of relief swept through me as I realized this was the perfect place to start. This club wasn’t the private home of Mr. Thick Cock where I would be expected to do anything. The bar, though near the corner of nowhere and doesn’t exist, looked to be newly built. The building was solid white and the entrance made up of two large oak doors. It seemed to be busy considering the number of cars in the parking lot. I stood in front of the doors, gathering my last bit of courage, and noticed they had been carved to showcase the characters of Alice in Wonderland.
So, I had a plan. I’d decided during my drive to give myself a year of no holds barred sexual exploration. No self-deprecating inner thoughts, no inner turmoil over the deeds after they took place, just raw indulgence. I would be safe, but I would seek out every avenue to find what pleasured me. I wanted it all. I wanted to fuck a professional escort, role-play, try my hand at BDSM, and maybe a ménage à trois. There would be no limits, only my preferences as I discovered them. I felt a tingle in my spine at the idea that tonight I might actually get to experience some small part of it. Down the rabbit hole it was. I exhaled, tightening my grip on my clutch. Here goes nothing.
I opened the door to be met by a huge man—more like a mountain—that reminded me of a lumberjack without the beard.
“Password?”
“Don’t kiss and tell.”
He looked at a list on a clipboard then nodded his head in confirmation. I thought it odd. I hadn’t given anyone my name. He grabbed my purse and I stood back in shock as he went through the contents without apology. He handed it back to me, grunting as he took a step back, making way for me to enter. I was stunned at the absolute beauty of the club. There were oversized leather lounge chairs everywhere in black, white, and checkered patterns. Hundreds of intricate lights hung from the ceiling in different shapes and colors. There were glass dividers giving privacy in certain areas as well as hundreds of lit candles that had the entire bar smelling sweet and clean. Despite the amount of lights, the atmosphere was romantic. I’d expected ridiculous amounts of story time paraphernalia throughout; instead it was all done so tastefully. Unless you were looking for the fairytale details, you wouldn’t really notice them. It was definitely a playground for grownups. A beautiful woman with ridiculously bright red hair greeted me as I took a seat at the bar then asked me for my order. I caught a few stares aimed in my direction and squared my shoulders.
“Martini, very, very dirty.”
She winked at me as I studied the bar behind her. Mirrors lined the entire wall, and I could see myself clearly. I was shocked at my own appearance. I looked...confident. Taking a sip of my freshly delivered drink in an insanely large martini glass, I cautiously looked around. There were a few people scattered around the bar, but the ratio of people present to the number of cars didn’t quite add up. At the end of the bar to my left sat a couple that seemed more than comfortable showing vast amounts of affection openly. I watched them for only a moment before the w
oman, whose naked breast was being inhaled by the man in front of her, winked at me. I winked back, feeling a small twitch of heat make its way below. A live show would be a first. Exhibitionists intrigued me. Maybe I would add this one to my list. He lifted her skirt, exposing her panties, and I almost gasped with her when he moved them to the side, sliding his fingers in. I felt heat flush through my body as I watched her head tilt back and a moan escape her lips. His fingers moved inside of her and I began to feel my sex clench with need. God, I wanted to be her right now.
“Having a good time?”
