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He looked down at the floor between us. “How many times do I have to tell you this? You aren’t for me.”
I stood my ground. I could hear the lie in his voice and feel it in my heart. “I am for you. You’re twenty-nine fucking years old! Ten years is not that big of a fucking age gap, Ray. We have nothing to be ashamed of!”
He gripped my arm. “So then pay me back. When you’ve made enough money to pay me back, maybe I’ll take you seriously. Until then, stay gone.”
I bit my lip to keep it from trembling. “That’s what it’s about? That you paid me?”
Ray faltered, his whole frame dropping as he looked me in the eye.
“You want love from me? That’s what you want?”
“I want you to admit it’s already there!”
“I have to respect you, kitten.” I faced him head on. We were in negotiations, something he’d made sure I’d mastered.
“You do respect me.”
“No, I don’t. I think you’re brave. I think you’re exceptionally smart. I think you’ve got a goddamned mouth on you that would make the devil weep, but respect has to be earned. You want mine? Go kick some ass, make your fortune, and come back to me then and ask for love.” He crossed his arms, and I took an aggressive step forward.
“You love me.”
He shook his head, his blue eyes resolute. “I don’t. You want me to, but I don’t. This is it for us. Contract is over. Let’s say goodbye like adults, kitten.”
I tamped down my tears as I looked him over. “I’ll hate you for this.”
“You might, or you might thank me.”
I maintained my composure as he tried his best to rattle me. I held my head high as the seconds ticked by.
A slow smiled traced my lips as I pushed my anger aside and gave him a wink.
“Have it your way, Ray.” I could feel the pride on his side as I fought the battle with my anger and my pride and won. He confirmed my suspicion when he reached me. We fought breathlessly to get our clothes off, and once he was buried deep, his emotion-filled eyes cloaked me in what I needed to feel. No gentle words, no soft whispers, just deep blue eyes. When we’d both come, Ray leaned in and kissed me for the first time. It lasted endless minutes, and it was filled with every unspoken kindness he’d deprived me of. I moaned into his lips, and he took and took and took some more. Our tongues tangled and slowly broke apart as he sealed it before gracing me with one last lingering look.
“Offer stands, kitten. Come back when you make your fortune.”
“Ray?” My heart sank as he leveled me with his goodbye.
He looked at me without an inch of fight. “I’ll be waiting.”
Outside, on the front steps of his castle, I shivered as tears streamed down my cheeks then rushed to the front door and unlocked it. “Ray.” I needed him now more than ever. I leapt up the stairs as I had three months into my first semester at Harvard.
“Ray!” I yelled, excited after the all-night drive from Boston to Memphis for winter break. I knew it would aggravate him to no end that I was yelling throughout the house. Still, I couldn’t stifle my excitement. I had just been granted enough in student loans to carry me the first semester and maxed out six credit cards to pay for the rest.
I moved toward his bedroom as memories rushed toward me from all sides. Deep blue eyes, his rare smile, his hungry lips on my skin, his reluctant friendship.
“Ray?!” I barreled down the hall to his bedroom at six in the morning to see it made. Thinking he might have been early to rise, I rushed into his office and stopped short when he wasn’t there.
“Taylor? Is that you?” Olivia rounded the corner from the foyer with a warm smile on her face.
“Olivia, hi!” I moved toward her, filled with excitement, and gave her a brief hug.
“Where is Ray?”
Olivia’s smile faltered. Instant tears surfaced as I shook off the impossible. “Is he out of town?”
Powerless against the memory of my last trip to the house, I hung my head as I reached the door to his bedroom. I stared at his empty bed then walked in and closed the door behind me.
“Taylor, he’s gone.”
