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“Let’s go swimming and after,” I waggled my brows, “we can after.”
“Aren’t you hurting?”
“I’m good. Actually, I’m great. I’m growing into a huge fan of sex after years of being on team abstinence. Also, sex between us requires little communication which, if we’re honest, we seem to suck at.”
“Good point,” he said, smiling down at me. “But I think we’re getting better.”
“Agreed,” I said, as he let me on my feet.
“I’ll get my suit on.”
I took his hand and moved toward the front door. “That won’t be necessary, professor.”
ANXIOUS, I CHECKED THE ROAST in the oven for the second time in ten minutes. Any second, Ella would be walking through the door and I wanted more than anything for her to like me. Even if Ian and I didn’t have a future, some part of me hoped for a lasting friendship. I lost everything when I left New York and severed ties with everyone I thought was close to me, but Ian and I were a different kind of close. He understood me like no one else in my life ever had, including Jasmine. He knew me intimately and touched me in ways I needed. He knew my secrets, my fears and asked me constantly what my hopes were, to which I had no reply. I never thought past getting through my days when I arrived on the island. And now it seemed I had a whole different life in front of me. I didn’t tell him my hopes because the truth was I wasn’t sure. For the first time in my life, it wasn’t mapped out, which was both amazing and a bit terrifying. But I had learned I didn’t need big dreams and accomplishments to matter. And his question was more geared toward my happiness, I knew it without him telling me. So, when it came to hopes, I would let them evolve just like I had when I set foot in St. Thomas. And maybe before he left, I would have something to share. Even when our time ended, I hoped to remain a part of his life, even if it meant I would have to witness him living it with someone else.
His friendship was a rare gift when it came to acceptance. While a part of me knew I was in love with him, a larger part of me knew that for some reason, when I was six-years-old I was gifted with a best friend who later turned into a soulmate. We spent the first month together at odds, but the last few w
eeks had been some of the most blissful days of my entire life. When I knocked off work, I raced home without a clue as to where our night would lead. It was different from the predictability I learned to count on every day, but oddly the new routine felt just as safe because of Ian.
And the fact that I had never been in love played a large part of the reason for my happiness. I tried not to dwell on it due to the impending heartbreak, but the truth was I had never experienced the constant pounding heart, desire, the elation, the need, the torturous want, the playful comfort. All of that, from the time I was in my teens, was stripped from my life by my ambitious schedule and the aftermath of trying to keep up with it. There had been boyfriends, a few of them memorable but never had I ever felt such an attraction to a man. I’d never in my life been inspired the way I was by Ian. His ability to make me feel everything with a single look was unparalleled by any before him.
I was weeks away from thirty years old and had just found my first love.
And my soulmate.
But not my forever.
The front door opened as I lit a candle, and Ian and Ella appeared. I waved my hello frantically and Ella rushed to my side. We both hesitated briefly before we hugged.
I took my time signing my greeting.
I’m so happy you are here.
She began frantically signing as her father corrected her while talking. He made a fist with one hand and slid spaced fingers over it toward him.
“Slow, Ella. She’s only been doing this for two weeks.”
She turned back to me and signed with the letter S rubbing her chest.
Sorry.
I signed back.
It’s okay.
She spoke then. “We can practice more while I’m here.”
“I would love that.”
“Can I see the puppy?”
“Of course.” I moved to the bedroom where I had locked Disco in so I could mop the floors and jumped out of my skin when Ella shrieked. Ian had told me Ella was unbelievably loud at times. I shook my head at my foolish reaction and Ian gave a wink. “It’s okay, beautiful. She startles me too at times.”
“You aren’t allowed to talk when you know she can’t hear you. It’s disrespectful.”
“I can’t call you beautiful in front of her.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
