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Epilogue
Raven
(Six months later)
At an undisclosed island in the Pacific Ocean
I wigglemy toes in the sand and lift my chin to enjoy the heat of the sun on my face. Before I met Dragan I’d only ever been to overcrowded beaches with my parents. Now I wake up to the sound of the waves crashing into the shore.
“Look at me!” Janna calls.
I open my eyes to see her running at the water’s edge. She has a swimsuit for every day of the week. Today, she’s wearing her polka dot bikini, but she has matched it with a blue and pink piece from one of her other suits. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen her wear a matching two-piece before.
I’m wearing a bikini too, but for a different reason. My stomach has swollen to beyond what a one-piece can safely contain. The baby moves and kicks. I swear sometimes he’s doing cartwheels in there. I rest my hands on my stomach and send my love to the life in there, growing. Any day now, I’ll meet our baby. Janna’s little brother.
I think of Octavia. How I would have loved to have shared this pregnancy with her. If she could only see Janna now. Maybe she is looking down on us. If she is, she will see how happy her daughteris.
I wave at Janna and she goes back to her game of running towards the water when it recedes and running away when it advances, laughing like mad the whole time. She’s played the same game since we came. She never seems to grow tired ofit.
“Are youokay?”
I look up to find Dragan standing above me, smiling warmly, offering the glass of pineapple juice I asked him to fetch from the house.
“I’m fine,” I say, rubbing my tummy. “The baby’s just doing gymnastics.” I down the glass of juice in three gulps. I blame the baby. He’s always thirsty nowadays.
Dragan drops down beside me. His chest isn’t giving him much trouble anymore. The gunshot wound was never as serious as I imagined. Nikolai is a crack shot. We’re new people living new lives in this tropical paradise.
Dragan lays his warm palm on my stomach and smiles when the baby moves beneath his hand. “He’s a stronglad.”
I laugh. “Like his Daddy.”
He smiles again.
“Do you think Janna will be jealous?”
He shakes his head. “No.”
“How can you be sosure?”
“Because she inherited her mummy’s big heart.”
He puts his arm around me and I lean my head onto his shoulder. “I’ve kind of decided on a name forhim.”
“Ohyeah?”
I raise my head and look into his beautiful eyes. “Yeah. I want to call him Luka. Unless you don’t want to, of course,”
“My father’s name,” he says almost in wonder.
Inod.
“Thank you,” he says, and there are tears in hiseyes.
“Watch me!” Janna calls. She charges into the water now and belly flops onto awave.
Both Dragan and I laugh at her antics.
“Are you happy?” Dragan asks after a few moments of watching Janna atplay.
I answer without hesitation. “I’m so happy sometimes I can’t believe it’s not just a dream.” We’re safe and together, which is all that matters. I miss seeing Cindy every day, but we’ve been in contact. Dragan knows how to do this securely. One day, hopefully soon, I’ll be able to see her again.
“Are you happy?” I askhim.
He kisses the top of my head. “Yes,” he says. “I have what I always wanted. A family of myown.”
He never talks about his family and I don’t push him, but the promise of the baby has changed him in ways I wouldn’t have believed possible. That old ice-cold man is gone forever. Replaced by the father of my unborn child and Janna. He promised me he will never go back to what he did before and he has kept his word. He says even to think of what he did sickens himnow.
We’re a family now. We’re safe. We’re together.
The rest of the world canwait.
Raven
(Two Months Later)
Still at an undisclosed island in the Pacific Ocean
I run blindly awayfrom our house.
I run because I am so hurt and angry. I run because after all these months Dragan has finally told me what happened to his mother. How he searched for the men for years and years, long after the hostilities had eased in the region and everybody had forgotten it. Finally, he tracked down the only man whose face he saw in a bar in Morocco. How he took him and tortured him until he revealed the identity of all the other men. How he found them one by one and killed themall.
My heart is broken for that innocent six-year old boy. What he had to go through. What he suffered all these years. I run to the little waterfall in the woods. I sit on a rock, hold my swollen belly, and burst into tears.
A branch cracks behind and I try to stop the tears. I don’t want him to see me crying. I want to be strong for him. I blink back the tears. His strong arms come around my body and I start to sob. I feel angry with myself for being so weak. I should be comforting him. I dash the tears away and turn around.
“Oh, Dragan, I’m so, so sorry about what happened to your mother. I wish I could do something, but I can’t,” Isob.
“Shhh … you mustn’t cry for her. She is in heaven with the angels. All around her are fruit orchards and fields of flowers.”
I stare into his eyes. Once they were dead, now they are pools of color that reflect his beautifulsoul.
I take a deep breath. “You’ll see her again.”
He smiles sadly. “No, I won’t. I won’t be going to the same place asher.
I’ve acceptedthat.”
“You don’t knowthat.”
“I don’t know that, but I hope it is that way. There should be a place specially for the good and the innocent. A place that cannot be tainted by people likeme.”
I take both hands and put them on either side of his face. “You are not a bad person. If you’re not a good person, I don’t know who is. I’m blessed because of you. I’m alive because of you. Whatever you did, you did because this cruel world turned the heart of a child of God to stone. I’m going wherever youare.”
Raven
(Eighteen Months Later)
England
“Happy Birthday, darling,”I say happily.
“Thanks, Mummy.” She sounds shy. Every day I see her changing and I don’t like it. A year ago she would have wrapped her arms around my head and said, “What present have you got for me?” Now she’s behaving like an adult. Thankingme.
“What would you like to have for breakfast, hmmm?”
“Pancakes,” shesays.
“What a goodidea”
“Is Luka awakeyet?”
“Nah, that sleepyhead kept both of us awake all night and now he is fast asleep.”
She giggles.
“Anyway, don’t you want to know what present daddy and I have foryou?”
Shenods.
I hold my hand out. “Come onthen.”
She slips her hand into mine and I lead her to the kitchen. I open the kitchen door and we both stand on the tiled patio.
She looks around. “What is it?” sheasks.
At that moment, Dragan appears from the side of the house. He is leading apony.
I let go of her hand, take a step forward and watch her. Her mouth drops open and then she begins to cry. When I see her crying, I start crying too. Bawling her little heart out, she starts walking stiffly towards the pony. Still crying loudly, she wraps her little arms around the pony’s neck and lays her cheek onit.
“Do you like him?” Draganasks.
The poor mite nods and continues sobbing.
Dragan comes to me. “Hey,” he says. “Why are you crying?”
“I don’t know,” Ihowl.
From somewhere upstairs comes ayell.
“That’s all I need,” Dragan says, and runs upstairs to getLuka.
I walk towards Janna and crouch next to her. “Are you happy?”
“Yes,” she says, and launches herself into my arms as she has done since she was a baby. We are both still crying when Dragan comes with Luka. He is yelling his head off too. Dragan stands there at aloss.
Suddenly both Janna and I start laughing. Tiny Luka stops howling and stares at the new pony. This is my family. This is mylife.
I loveit.
TheEnd
