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‘Laters,’ he says to the kids, and, winking at me, goes out of the door.
I look at the kids. ‘It’s just us now,’ I say, and walk to the window, where I watch Shane get into his car and roar off.
Inside the apartment Tommy gives a great big howl.
I rush to his side. ‘What?’
‘I pinched him,’ Liliana confesses calmly.
‘What did you do that for?’
‘He poked me in the heart,’ she says tearfully, pointing to the middle of her chest. ‘And it hurt.’
‘He’s just a baby, Liliana. He didn’t really mean it,’ I explain reasonably.
‘Yes, he did,’ she insists as I pick Tommy up while he carries on with his meltdown. I realize immediately that there’s a very bad smell coming from him. Holding him at arm’s length, I then put him back on the floor.
Liliana is looking up at me with enormous accusing eyes, and I experience a rush of panic. I shouldn’t have let Shane leave. I brush my face with my hand while Tommy continues to bawl inconsolably.
‘Fuck it,’ I mutter, and pick him up again. I hold him the way I see everybody else holding babies. The way Shane does. With his little stiff body close to mine—but he only screams even harder. I put him back on the floor.
‘Do you want some ice cream?’ I offer desperately.
Tommy stops crying instantly, and, standing up, gazes at me with tear-stained, hopeful eyes. His mouth is still quivering, just in case I don’t come through with my offer. ‘I cream,’ he shouts happily.
‘Yes, ice cream,’ I repeat brightly.
‘He’s not allowed to have any,’ Liliana forbids in an eerily grown-up voice.
At that, Tommy throws himself to the ground and howls his head off in frustration. ‘I waaaaant i cream. I WAAAAANT I CREAM,’ he hollers.
‘Why is he not allowed ice cream?’ I demand.
The little madam has her chubby arms crossed over her chest and is glaring up at me. ‘Because we are both not allowed.’
‘Why not?’
‘There’s sugar in it and sugar is bad for children.’
‘Well, he’s damn well having some,’ I mutter.
‘I’m telling,’ she warns.
‘Yeah, you do that,’ I say, and, picking Tommy up by the armpits, begin to stride toward the kitchen with her following behind. If she’s not careful she’s getting Layla’s disgusting gin and tonic ice cream.
There’s a highchair pushed up against a wall. I drag it to the table and secure Tommy into it. The smell from his diaper is making me gag. I move away from him and open the freezer door. One scoop isn’t going to kill them. Triumphantly, I pull out a tub of cookies and cream flavor and show it to Tommy.
‘Mmmm,’ I say in an exaggerated way and put it down on the counter.
Tommy cackles with delight.
I turn and look at Liliana. ‘This is your last chance.’
She blinks, and I know I’ve got her.
‘I won’t tell if you won’t,’ I cajole softly. I know it’s wrong to bribe her like this, but what the hell. This is an emergency.
She grins suddenly, and I see Jake in her little face. That same gorgeous smile. Something inside me knots up. I feel a wave of deep love for her.
