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Very gently, I blow into her slightly parted lips. My stale vapors enter her pink mouth. I will contaminate you yet further, my sweet.
‘Mmm…’ she murmurs.
I freeze.
She moves away from my warm breath. Even in sleep she is moving away from me. I guess she only wants a big man. I have seen her with him. He holds her possessively. He would make a formidable enemy, but I will not be confronting him. I will just be taking her away from him.
Why? Because she is mine.
Let him be broken, the way I was, when he took her away from me. I’ve taken care of all the other men who have sniffed around her like wild animals. It was easy because she didn’t want them. She wants this one. I have followed her up to his house in the woods, which he never locks, and watched from the window as he fucked her. It made me sick to my stomach. I threw up in the bushes. I thought she was something special.
Cheap hussy was mewling like a kitten for his dick.
I feel my cock harden. So. My body still wants the little bitch. I shall have her. I shall tie her up and have her until my body feels the disgust and abhorrence my mind feels for her. I would take her today, if not for the other woman sleeping in her bed. My opportunity will come again. One of these days she will be alone again. And I will strike then.
I straighten, and, turning my head, look at my own visage. How curious. It is a pale and glowing mask in the moonlight. Looking back at me is the almost demonic face of a man possessed by rage and hatred.
Vengeance will be mine.
I stand there for a long time. Only when I have had my fill of my complete power over her vulnerable form do I turn around and leave the way I had come.
Through the front door.
TWENTY-FIVE
The wound is the place where the light enters you.
—Rumi
I knock at the semi-detached house and Vivien’s mother opens the door. The past ten years have not been kind to her.
‘Hello, Mirela.’
‘Hello, Dom,’ she says with a smile, and moves back to let me in.
I go into the living room and look around me. Nothing seems to have changed. Everything is spotless. The kitsch decorations, the fans on the walls, the patterned carpet, the net curtains, the ornate figurines, and the bohemian crystal vases filled with plastic flowers. She gestures for me to sit.
I sit on an armchair with a crocheted lace antimacassar. The cushion is old and lumpy. I feel a sense of guilt. I should have come earlier. I should have given them some financial help. I know Jake gave money, but I should have done something too.
She takes a seat opposite me. There is a low coffee table with an oval lacy doily-like thing between us. On it she has set a crystal bowl filled with sugared almonds, a tray with a teapot and cups, and a plate covered with a napkin. She smiles at me mistily and begins pouring the tea. She doesn’t ask how I like my tea. She pours exactly the right amount of milk and drops in a cube of sugar. She hands it over to me.
‘Thank you,’ I say, accepting the dainty china.
She lifts the napkin off the plate and reveals thinly sliced rectangles of marble cake. She picks up the plate and holds it out to me. ‘Your favorite,’ she says.
Something heavy lodges in my heart. I’ve been so selfish. I take a slice and hold it awkwardly in my fingers
‘How have you been?’ she asks,
pouring herself a cup of tea.
‘I’ve been all right.’
She looks up. ‘I’m so glad to hear that. I’ve been waiting for you to come for ten years.’
My eyes widen with shock. ‘Why?’
‘I knew you’d come when the pain was gone.’
