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Chapter Twenty-Six - Owen
Myah hasn’t made any plans for today, and I find myself sighing in relief over that fact. I’m enjoying my time with her, but it has become increasingly difficult to fake a smile and a laugh. My superiors in the military would not be proud of me, and neither am I. But I realize that I’m still just a human being, and I can only keep my emotions stuffed for so long.
The art museum visit was uneventful. I couldn’t even stay focused long enough to appreciate any of the artwork. I also was not paying attention to Myah too. I don’t know if she can feel that I am slipping away once again. And I hope not. I don’t want her to feel like she’s not necessary to me again. But I also still don’t know how I can tell her about Sloane without giving too much information about my personal…sex life. I highly doubt that she would be proud of me and my sexual contracts.
I sigh again while sitting at the suite’s table, then sip my black coffee. I’ve been having these recurring migraines, and I know perfectly well that it’s because I’m stressed. I don’t know how to do anything anymore. The art museum was just the tip of the iceberg because, after that, Myah doesn’t stop asking about Sloane.
“Dad, can I see Sloane tomorrow?” she asked me after we got home from the museum.
Instead of replying to her, I bade her good night and to go to sleep. In the morning, she was up before me with coffee and pancakes. And she was beaming. She wants me to buy her something, my mind explained. Then my daughter asked me if I had free time that day.
“Yes. I told you before. I made sure that I will not be working until we return to Washington.”
“Then, it’s okay for us to go out again, right?”
I nodded. Even then, I had a slight inkling about where this was going. Yet, I also wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.
“I want to visit a coffee shop.”
“That’s a pretty easy activity. We can do that.”
Then, she showed me the spot in Google Maps. It took a while before I realized that it was a coffee shop near McKenzie, Inc.
My daughter is a crafty one. But I’m smarter, I think.
I haven’t told her that I asked Kane to replace Sloane. So, even when I go there, I will not see her. Yet, I don’t want to take my chances. I don’t know where she takes her coffee, but I know she loves her coffee. The thought smacks me in the face. I have that information because she told me that the night that she revealed herself.
“So, can we?” Myah inquired again, pulling me back to the conversation.
“No. I just realized now that I’m already having my coffee here. I only drink one coffee a day.”
Myah pouted her lips then went back to her room. She didn’t talk to me again that day until dinner. If this keeps going on, I say in my mind, then I will definitely lose my daughter again.
So, the next day, I planned our next trip. It’s to an obscure bookstore that I thought she would love. She was smiling, but then she picked up a book.
“Sloane says that this is a great book to read because it shows women empowerment.”
I don’t read that much, so I can’t confirm her claim. But I knew what she was getting at. So, I just nodded and went to the next shelf. My daughter was all sulky the rest of the day. And I haven’t bothered trying to cheer her up again since then. It doesn’t work, though, because she still finds ways to bring Sloane up and ask me whether she can see her.
Right now, she has just woken up, and she has the same serious look that I know I have too. I sip from my cup again and pretend not to notice her. Myah sits across from me at the table and makes her own coffee. Then she looks up at me.
“Dad.”
I know that it’s now or never. And I don’t even want to hear her say Sloane’s name because every time she does, my heart tears up a bit more.
“Myah, I am truly enjoying New York. But I need today to be our last day here. My supervisors are already asking me to go back to work immediately.”
I don’t like lying, but I also don’t want to stay in this state anymore. I’m too close to her, and I’m afraid that I might not be able to hold up my defenses anymore.
“We can always come back to New York. I will have Andrew book a trip back here next year. Then, we can explore the other places that we missed this year.”
