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I almost couldn’t wait to see when Dallas and Nolan found out Walter was gunning for their very well-mannered, very fixed pet. Unfortunately, going back to the sanctuary meant something I really wasn’t ready for.
Seeing Jett again.
There was just no amount of impregnated doggy drama that could change that.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
JETT
I hated the fact that I held my breath in anticipation when I heard someone approaching me from behind.
Fucking hated it.
Just like I fucking hated the disappointment that went through me when it was Maddox who appeared at my side.
My friend didn’t say anything as he stood next to me. We both watched in silence as Apollo backed away from the fence line, his eyes staying on Maddox the entire time. The dog didn’t make any sound but the hair on the back of his shoulders was standing up and there was no doubt what the dog was feeling just by the way he looked at the newcomer.
“Sorry,” Maddox murmured as Apollo disappeared behind the big log he’d been using as his safe space.
“We can’t expect miracles,” I responded. “He’s already come a lot further than I ever thought he would.”
Maddox crouched next to me. “With the things he’s had to go through to survive, I would say every step forward is a miracle.”
I could feel the man’s eyes on me as he spoke. I shook my head and allowed a small smile to grace my lips. “The Maddox I knew never used to resort to pretty words to say what he meant.”
“The Jett I knew wouldn’t be sitting here feeling sorry for himself when something he wanted was within his reach.”
I shook my head again. “You and the fam must be pretty hard up for entertainment if you’re that focused on the cripple’s personal life.”
Maddox sighed and then sat down next to my chair. “I keep trying to tell myself that my best friend is in there somewhere,” he said quietly as he continued to stare at the chain link fence in front of us.
“What do you want from me, Maddox?” I snapped. “I’m still fucking here, aren’t I?”
“Are you? Because it sure as hell feels like you’re still lying in that fucking hospital bed waiting for any opportunity to take the easy way out,” Maddox returned.
I didn’t remember much about the day he was referring to, but I’d been told what I’d done. I also knew what Maddox had done when he’d found out. I shook my head tiredly as I let the original comeback I was planning to say die a quick death on my lips.
“I don’t want to do this anymore,” I whispered. “This back and forth with you. It wasn’t your fault, Maddox. We both know that—”
“I knew something was off. I knew it but I pushed forward anyway,” Maddox murmured. It didn’t surprise me in the least that he knew I was talking about the event that had taken my legs and not his destruction of nearly an entire hospital wing upon finding out I’d tried to kill myself twenty-four hours after waking up in that same hospital.
The fact was that I’d been blaming Maddox for a very long time about something that he’d had no control over, and he’d let me. He’d needed to be blamed for it. We’d lost our entire unit in the space of two minutes. Our brothers. Maddox needed someone to punish him for it because his own self-hatred wasn’t enough. His relationship with Isaac had likely taken away a lot of the pain and anger Maddox had been feeling about a lot of things, but I knew him well enough to know that he’d never be able to let that day truly go, even if that was exactly what he needed to do.
Just like I needed to.
“I was there, Maddox. I heard the guys trying to convince you to trust the intelligence. I was one of those voices. We all wanted to go home. It was all any of us wanted. If you’re going to hold yourself accountable, then you need to serve me up on a platter too.”
“I was the commanding officer—”
“Yeah, and my job was to respect that position, to never question it and follow orders, but I didn’t hesitate to play the best friend card that day. I knew what would happen if we all just sat in that fucking Humvee and waited for you to decide what to do. You would have held back. You would have made us do a search of every inch of that road before we drove over it. We would have missed the window for getting on the last plane heading out that day. If we’d all just done our jobs—”
“Enough,” Maddox murmured, and then, to my surprise, his hand was covering mine where it was resting on my lap. Being in the chair meant I was slightly above him, so I could see his expression. It was hard but filled with despair too.
