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“Yeah.” Cash’s voice came out thick and croaky before he swallowed again. “I can try. I got the Wi-Fi hooked up if you want to use the TV.”
“Oh! A TV!” For the first time, I noticed a flat-screen tucked into a built-in shelving unit on the far wall. “That’s probably better than me playing teacher.”
“I’m sure you’re a good teacher.” Somehow when he said it, I didn’t feel patronized, and I actually believed him. I might not be good at much, but I was good at this, and he made it feel important.
“Thanks.” I accepted the remote and managed to cue up the right video. We pushed the chairs to the side to make an open area in front of the TV, and I plopped down on the rug in the center of the hardwood floor. “We’ll make do without mats.”
“Okay.” Cash settled himself next to me. He’d changed at some point into loose shorts and a different T-shirt. His attention was on the TV, but I’d seldom felt more on display. This was quite possibly a terrible idea, but the yoga teacher was starting, so I forced myself to follow along and stop worrying about what Cash was thinking.
Gradually, the familiar routine chased my self-consciousness away, and I moved smoothly through the various seated postures.
“How in the hell are you so bendy?” Cash asked as I folded one leg under me for a pigeon pose.
“Practice.” I bent forward, stretching a little more than usual to show off my flexibility.
“Damn. I’ll say.” His admiring tone made me beam. The video had us move through a few more poses, and Cash continued to struggle with tight muscles. Like most guys who lifted, he didn’t have the best flexibility, but he gamely kept trying.
“Remember to breathe,” I reminded him as he grunted through the cobbler’s pose. It was hard to keep my own breathing steady, with him sounding like pure sex.
“Trying.” He gave a strained chuckle but seemed to relax a little more when the video shifted to the more meditative section that had us flat on our backs. As the teacher slowed her talking, I was acutely aware of each breath he took, the way it rumbled and deepened. He was so close. Close enough to touch. And I wouldn’t.
But I wanted on a deeper level than I’d ever wanted before. It felt like we were sharing something significant, and the very energy in the room seemed to shift as the meditation music played. I was scared to speak, not wanting to end this closeness, and I stayed silent even as the music faded out.
Cash was quiet too, but when he rolled toward me, I couldn’t resist doing the same, putting us both on our sides, gazes locked. The soft light from the fire reflected in Cash’s eyes, gold flecks glowing brightly. All day I’d been surrounded by gorgeous scenery, and none of it matched his face in that instant. Expression softer than usual, he managed somehow to be intense at the same time, a fierce tenderness I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen before.
And it was all for me.
“Danny…” My name, the barest of whispers, crackled between us. And still, our gazes held.
I wasn’t entirely sure what he was asking, but I already knew my answer. “Yes.”
Chapter Thirteen
Cash
Yoga was supposed to make a person calm. And I was, this weird sort of peace having come over me, but it had little to do with contorting my body this way and that or the mind-body link, and everything to do with Daniel. Rolling toward him felt inevitable, and not like thirty-six hours of inevitable, but more like thirty-eight years. Like my body had been waiting for this guy who had a slinky for a spine and a relentlessly sunny spirit.
When he’d said he could help me sleep, I’d been expecting him to offer sex. And if I was one hundred percent honest with myself, I’d probably have been a yes at that point. Or at least a please convince me waffling maybe.
But he’d offered something far sweeter. The story of him working for sobriety and the bedtime yoga he’d been using to get through. Not many people would admit to the sort of vulnerability he owned up to on the regular. God knew I couldn’t. Took guts to be that kind of honest.
But I didn’t want to live my life a coward. So maybe I could be honest in return. I wanted to kiss him. I could pretend otherwise, but it didn’t matter if our lips never met. I had my answer, or at least an answer. But a thousand other questions flooded my brain. And for the first time, I was willing to be brave enough to reach for the thing that held the key to all of it.
“Danny…” I breathed his name like a prayer.
