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I found him some takeout dinner while I talked to Duncan and got the access codes I needed. Then on the drive to his place, I let Danny use my phone to leave a message for his attorney. He stayed quiet after that, and I hoped like hell I’d done the right thing telling him he needed his lawyer.
A new security gate greeted us at his house, along with a fleet of cameras and automatic lighting.
“Wow.” Danny chewed on that poor lower lip of his as I typed in the gate’s code and then parked inside the garage. He didn’t seem in any hurry to exit the Jeep. “The house seems so different now. I’m not sure I like it.”
“Not too late to head to Duncan’s,” I said gruffly because I agreed. The vibe of the place felt different now. Starker. Emptier. The garage alone felt huge after the days in that tiny cabin, and the whole house felt more foreboding for sure. “You could have the guest room where I was staying at Duncan’s place.”
“And not have you in the bed.” He pursed his lips. “Wait. You are sleeping here, right? I didn’t ask. That was rude of me.”
“It’s okay.” I put an arm around his shoulders, drew him close. “I’m staying. Whether on the couch at Duncan’s or a hotel or here, whatever you need.”
Eventually, I was going to have to talk with Duncan, but Danny’s comfort had to come first. I could endure so much worse than a night on the couch for him.
“I need you.” His voice was small and uncertain. I kissed his forehead then his lips.
“I’m here.” My heart pounded so hard I could feel it in my neck.
“Good.” He exhaled softly before pulling away. “I guess we should go in.”
“Yup. Let’s do a perimeter check together and go room-to-room.” I had a feeling that might put us both more at ease, and it seemed to work. I narrated through all the security upgrades Duncan’s team had put in place and revealed empty closet after empty closet. We finally ended up in his room with Danny staring at his rows of clothes in the walk-in closet like he’d never seen them before.
“Can we sleep up in the crow’s nest?” he asked, at last, shutting the closet and going to perch on the very edge of his big bed.
“Sure.” Not wanting to loom over him, I sat next to him. “If that would make you feel better, then yeah, we can sleep there. They added motion sensors on the exterior walls, so it’s less risky now.”
“Don’t tell me that.” He grimaced then slumped to rest his head on my shoulder, tone shifting to more apologetic. “Sorry. I’m just…my head is churning. I feel locked in a fortress and yet not nearly safe enough.”
“I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t used to feeling this fucking helpless. I wanted him safe more than anything, but his feelings weren’t really about my ability to protect him, and I hated that most of all, hated that someone had stolen his peace.
“Each time you point out another upgrade, I get more overwhelmed.” Shifting his weight, he snuggled more into my shoulder. “It’s all too much.”
“I get it.” I put an arm around him, held him as tight as I dared. His hair smelled dusty and vaguely like the Thai food we’d had for dinner. “Tell you what. You take a shower. I’ll stay right out here and keep watch, but you take as long as you need. You’ll feel better after.”
“I miss the tub at the cabin, but yeah, you’re right.” Giving me a fast kiss on the shoulder, he headed to the bathroom, leaving me alone with a pile of thoughts about how different things were from the last time I’d sent him to shower here. How different I was. I’d broken some sort of seal on my inner secrets, and there was no going back now.
I distracted myself by texting with Duncan, who was back in town and more chatty than he’d been in Toronto.
You really don’t mind staying there tonight? I could head over.
Oh, fuck no. We did not need that. I quickly fired off a response.
It’s no problem. You get caught up on your rack time. Sounds like you didn’t get enough downtime in Toronto.
I was being evasive, and I knew it, but luckily Duncan took the bait in his reply.
That’s putting it mildly. And thanks. I owe you big after all this. You’ve gone above and beyond. You sure I can’t pay you something for the job?
I’m sure. Doesn’t even feel like work.
My pulse pounded in my ears. My half-truths were starting to stack up, and Duncan would be that much more pissed when I finally came clean. But Danny was so much more than some job. No way was I taking money to do what my soul needed. Danny might be the one needing protection, but I was the one who needed to do it on a level I didn’t fully understand.
