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Turns out that’s no longer the case.
His growled-out words crash unwantedly through my head.
You realize that you belong to me now, right?
My belly does a little flip at the memory.
Did he mean it?
Do I even want him to?
I have no idea.
The thought makes me realize that no matter how uncomfortable the conversation, I can’t hold back the truth from Chris.
I need to be honest with you.
Okay. Sounds serious.
It takes a moment to gather my courage before carefully pressing each letter. Before I hit send, I suck in a breath and read over the text.
I slept with someone last night.
My nerves ratchet up to unprecedented levels as I clench the phone in my hand and wait for a reaction to the bomb I just dropped.
Oh.
That’s it. That’s his response. Another burst of apprehension explodes inside me.
I’m so sorry. It was after the fundraiser and just kind of…happened.
I wince. That sounds so lame.
When an immediate reply isn’t forthcoming, I tap out another message.
Are you mad?
My teeth sink into my lower lip. He has every right to be upset. As stupid as it sounds, it feels like I cheated on him.
No.
I blink at the screen in surprise.
Really?
We’re friends. We never made any promises to each other.
Relief rushes from my lungs in a burst of air.
It was never my intention to hurt you.
You didn’t. It’s all good.
My shoulders loosen. Before I can fire off anything more, another text pops up on the screen.
Do you like this guy?
For a long moment, I can only stare as the question circles through my head.
Do I?
Do I like Crosby?
It takes a few seconds to dredge my mind for an answer.
It’s complicated.
Why?
Unsure how to respond, I stare across the room and force myself to be completely honest.
He’s my ex’s best friend. Even though the guy has always been a jerk to me, everything seems different now. I can’t explain it.
Not even to myself.
You seem conflicted. Are you sure it’s a good idea to get involved?
A mirthless laugh falls from my lips. Of course I’m not sure. Part of me feels like it’s one of the stupidest decisions I could possibly make. But…
I don’t know. He’s not the person I’d assumed he was. Or maybe he’s different now. The only thing I know for certain is that I can’t get him out of my head. I have no idea if anything more will happen, but it doesn’t feel right to lead you on after I slept with another guy. I need to figure out this situation before I do anything else. I’m sorry.
Again, there’s a long stretch of silence.
No worries. We’re good, okay?”
Tears sting the backs of my eyes. I hate that this feels like goodbye. I really like Chris and I’ve enjoyed our conversations. Maybe, if circumstances had been different, our relationship could have deepened and grown into something more. I guess we’ll never know.
You’re such a good guy.
I appreciate that. But I’m not the one you’re thinking about, am I?
If I owe Chris anything, it’s my honesty.
No.
I didn’t think so. Your happiness is all that matters to me. If this guy makes you happy, then you should give it a chance.
His maturity and easy acceptance of the situation makes me feel like I’m making a terrible mistake. One that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
That’s the problem. I have no idea if he’s capable of giving me what I need.
The unvarnished truth is what makes me question everything.
You’ll never know unless you give it a try.
My heart clenches as the finality of this conversation hits me.
Bye, Chris.
Bye, beautiful. Take care.
My fingers hover over the keyboard before deciding to leave it alone. It feels like we’ve said everything we needed to.
Confusion rolls over me as I set the phone on my nightstand and bury my face in my hands. Chris is such an amazing guy. If I were smart, I’d forget about Crosby and hold him at a firm distance.
But I can’t do that.
Even if it means that I’ve just let the perfect guy slip through my fingers.
29
BROOKE
“What the hell is going on with you?”
I lift my gaze to my cousin, who is parked across from me on the other side of the table. I’ve got a bit of homework to finish up and Ryder is studying for a test. Since the hockey house is usually overflowing with rowdy teammates who like to party into the wee hours of the night, he dragged me to the library for a little peace and quiet. Ryder hasn’t always taken his grades seriously, but that seems to have changed this year.
Which I find…interesting.
“What do you mean?”
His gaze narrows. “You keep staring at the book in front of you. We’ve been here for at least thirty minutes, and you haven’t turned the page once. Is there something I need to know about?” He straightens on the chair. “Someone’s ass I need to beat?”
