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“You want to know what I’m feeling, hmm?”
“Yes,” I whispered. I wasn’t sure whether he heard me through the cascading water.
“Why?”
“Because I want to understand you. And I…” I didn’t know how to continue or how he would react to my answer.
“You what, Flame?” he nuzzled to my neck. His body behind me, his breath on my neck…I could stay there, like this, forever.
“I want to be close to you. Being around Alex is so easy but with you…I’m not sure if you’re annoyed by me or if you like having me around.”
A part of me hoped he didn’t hear me. But I knew he did when he pulled his head back.
“If I didn’t like having you around you wouldn’t be around,” he said sharply.
“But I’m annoyed with you. You’re defying me and I’m not familiar with that,” he murmured. I was afraid to say something and he would stop talking.
“How am I defying you?” I whispered.
“I don’t want you to go that fucking club but you’re not listening to me,” he huffed.
“I’m not your slave. You cannot control me, Xander.”
“I can think of a way to control you if you keep pushing my limits,” he said stubbornly while putting shower gel into washcloth and started to wash my body.
“You can’t and you should accept that. Alex doesn’t have any problem with that.”
“I’m not Alex. This is who I am,” he said. His hands moved between my legs and he washed me there. I knew what he was doing…he was trying to distract me.
He wrapped my hair around his wrist and pulled back.
“What if I told you to kneel? Will you defy me on that one, too?” he asked seductively and his fingers grazed my clit, causing me to moan with the sensation for a second but I immediately forced myself to focus.
Turning to face him I put some gel into my palm. He didn’t stop washing me when I put my soapy hands to his torso.
“You don’t understand, Xander. If you tell me to kneel so I suck you off, you don’t have to say that twice. I’d gladly do that. Because I want you. But if you want me to kneel so you can control me, make me stay here and wait for you to find Angel…then you’ll have to think of something else. Because, yes…I’ll defy you, fight with you.”
“I’m trying to protect you, can’t you see that? What if something happens to you? If you won’t let me be in control how will I protect you?”
He looked almost vulnerable in that moment. I’d never seen him like that. He cared for me. It was so fast but also so intense, I couldn’t doubt it.
“I don’t want you to be in control, Xander. I like you more when you’re out of it, when you’re open like this.” I moved closer to him.
“But this is not me…I don’t talk easily about my feelings or what I’m thinking, like Alex does. This is one-time thing, Flame. Just to make you understand and maybe make you listen to me. But it’s not working, I see.”
“Angel is my only family, Xander. She is my sister and I’ll do whatever I have to do to find her. I’ll d
o whatever I think it’s right. And just so you know…I will not ask for your permission to do it.” Determination was clear in my voice.
When I touched his cock he was already half-hard but I kept spreading gel on him.
“Enough. We’ll be late, otherwise.” His voice was tense. I gave a few more strokes and dropped my hand.
“Is there anything new you found out during your talk to Fabien?” I asked as water washed away the shower gel.
“No. He’ll be here tomorrow and we’ll go to the club together.” Xander answered me.
“Oh, I’ll meet you there, then,” I said but his frown deepened.
