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“Smith said to say congratulations on becoming mayor,” he said.
“You’ve been talking to him?”
“He called. I answered.”
“Good for you.”
“On the house, Garrett,” said Emma, sliding a bottle of beer on the table.
“Thanks, Emma. Say thanks to Yong for me, too.”
She gave him a wink and was on her way.
“The cloud that was hanging over you has lifted,” I said. “It’s lovely to see.”
“Like you said, I found a way forward. I’m planning a future and not isolating myself anymore.”
“Now say it again without looking quite so disconcerted by the idea.”
“It’s a lot. But I’m dealing.” He leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table. “Tell me something personal. Or aren’t we the kind of friends who do that anymore? I mean, shit. If you don’t feel comfortable—”
“I thought we were going to start talking about shallow, inconsequential stuff.”
His attempt at a smile was halfhearted at best. “We can talk about whatever you want.”
“Okay.” I took a deep breath. “I’ve actually been doing some work on myself. Made an appointment with a therapist in Falls Creek. Of course, she can’t fit me in for a couple of weeks, but . . .”
“That’s great.”
“You never did ask what it was all about. Exactly what the big bad thing in my past was. I don’t think I ever said thank you for that.”
“You’ll tell me if you want me to know.” He picked at the label on his beer bottle. “If you want to and the time is right. There’s no rush.”
I pushed my plate of garlic fries his way. “Help yourself, Garrett. Don’t make me the only one sitting here with garlic breath.”
“Thanks,” he said, picking up a couple. “Garlic fries are weird.”
“And yet you’re eating them.”
“I didn’t say they didn’t taste good.”
“They also ward off vampires.”
His gaze turned amused. “That’s important.”
I thought it all over, me and him and the world and everything. It actually didn’t take long. Maybe I was tired. Or maybe I trusted him more than I realized. “The real reason I don’t date is that I can’t sleep with another person in the house. And eventually, sex and sleepovers generally tend to happen. It’s all part of encouraging intimacy, right?”
He nodded.
“But I need to be able to get up and check the locks and make sure no one’s in the yard, and change positions three hundred times and have the occasional nightmare without worrying if I’m disturbing someone else.”
“Is this fact or theory?” he asked, not unkindly.
“Fact. When I first came back to town, I had a special male friend in Falls Creek. It didn’t work out.”
“Okay.”
“The thing is, even asleep, other people make noises,” I continued. “They snore or breathe loudly or turn this way and that and kick off the covers. Then, even if I’ve managed to get to sleep, I get startled and can’t get back to sleep and it’s all a big nightmare. I stand a much better chance of getting some shut-eye if it’s just me in my space. Which means I’m not really open to developing an ongoing thing with another person.”
“You mean like a relationship?”
“Yes. And it’s not as if I just accept that I’m always going to have issues surrounding this stuff,” I said, feeling the need to explain the whole sorry mess. “I’ve been pushing at some of my boundaries and I made that appointment, like I told you.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “I’m not judging you. Thank you for telling me. Which boundaries have you been pushing, if you don’t mind me asking?”
I hesitated. “I’ve never discussed any of this stuff with anyone besides Maria and Cézanne.”
He just waited.
“I’ve been reading on my front porch after sunset. It might not sound like a big thing, but it’s not something I’ve been ready to do before now,” I said. “It always made me feel unsafe and exposed in the past. But I’m starting to work my way through that. The other thing I feel like I should tell you is that I can hear you some nights. Playing your guitar and singing and working on your new songs.”
“You can hear me?”
“Yes. Through my bedroom window. And I know you moved out here for privacy, so . . .”
“No. That’s okay. I don’t mind you listening.” He licked his lips. “But thanks for letting me know.”
“Hey, Gary,” said Josh from a nearby table.
Garrett tipped his chin.
“Nice to see you two sitting together getting along.” And the wink Josh gave me was not subtle at all. Then he said, “No hard feelings about the other night at the town meeting, huh? Game of pool later?”
“Sounds good.”
Josh did finger guns in reply.
I smiled. “Was there something you wanted to tell me?”
“Hmm?”
“You asked me to tell you something personal. Usually that means there’s something on your mind that you want to tell me.”
“Ah, yeah.” His forehead furrowed. “I’ve started listening to the messages Grace left on my cell again. A while back, I made myself stop, but ever since . . .”
