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One fist is in my hair and the other behind my neck when his nose clashes against mine from the closeness. “Don’t forget who the fuck owns you, Meraki, and just what we could do.”
I clench my jaw, keeping my eyes trained on his. Fear hovers below the surface but not enough for me to outwardly express it.
“You get the fuck out or get the fuck in. Your choice.” His brows rise in question, his grip tightening in my hair until I feel strands being torn out of my scalp.
One.
Two.
Three.
I stop counting, having calmed myself. Smiling up at him, I shake my head. “You’re good. I’ll sleep somewhere else.”
He shoves me away from him and I flinch from the release of his grip. “Be back tomorrow at eight a.m., Mer. We have business to attend to.” Then he turns back to the two women on the bed, who both crawl toward him on the top of the covers.
I wish I could say the people who attend these parties weren’t willing participants, but they are. Every single one of them knows what they’re doing here. It’s by their choice the powder they snort up their nose and the amount of alcohol they take with it.
“See you then.” I quickly grab my long red coat, phone, and handbag and pull open the door, swiping the tears from my eyes.
Passing the living room, I search for Lester and Niko, but when I don’t find them anywhere, the panic lodged in my throat worsens. I pull my phone out and make my way through the front door and down to the elevator for guests. None of my friends answer their phones, and it’s not until I’ve reached outside that I realize what I have to do. I just hope Niko went back to the compound, or I don’t know, back with his girlfriend.
I’m dialing Ma on my way out the front door when I hear the loud pipes of bikes start on the curb. Both Niko and Lester watch me as I lower my phone down from my ear.
Niko shakes his head while handing me the helmet. “Do I need to swear at you to get you on, or are you going to listen this time?”
I could fight it, but I’d be a liar.
I take the helmet from him and shove it over my head before swinging my leg over the back and clinging to him like a lost child in a mall. He pulls us out onto the road, and as soon as I know no one can see me, I let the tears roll down my cheeks. No one can see that I’m falling apart on the very man who has always held me together. I was a fool to think that time would be a strong enough tool to separate our bond.
When he drives us off the back road and down the street his mom lives on, my palms turn sweaty. I’d forgotten what it felt like to have the wind run its fingers through my hair with the deep vibration of a bike beneath me. I missed it. I didn’t realize how much until I was back on.
He cuts the engine as I swing my leg over and hand him back the helmet. I’m hoping he won’t want to talk about what happened tonight, but knowing Niko—
“What’s going on between you and Luca, Mer?” he asks, and when I bring my eyes up to his, I can see the worry lurking beneath.
Niko has never been hard shelled with me. With other people, he’s a brick wall, but with me he’s glass. I can see his troubles, but he has never fully let me through to be able to feel them. Unfortunately, he smashed mine years ago, so he feels all of mine.
“It’s nothing, Nik. I’m fine.”
“The fuck you are. Why do you put up with that shit?” He hangs the helmet on the handle and rolls the bike back onto its stand.
“I don’t have to answer to you.” I squeeze my arms around my waist. “Thanks for the ride.”
“Thanks for the ride?” he mocks, and it’s not until I’m halfway up the stairs that I realize he’s followed me onto the patio. “Fuck off. You’re going to tell me why that asshole thinks he can treat you that way and why you will never leave.”
I spin around to face him, the tears I hid from him just moments before rerelease. My lip quivers. “Niko, you don’t know anything. Please. Go home to Lydia.”
He chuckles, looking to the side before closing our proximity. When he’s near enough, his hand is on my chin, tilting my face up to his. “Whatever he has on you, Mer, it doesn’t matter if you’re with me.” His eyes come to mine, and I watch as a shadow bounces over his features.
